Tom Bilyeu

So when my wife and I were first married, first couple of years of our marriage, we would argue and like dumb stuff. And I just thought, we end up often losing like an entire Saturday to some stupid argument. And at the end of the argument, when my neurochemistry has changed and I'm no longer upset, I think, wow, why did I waste all that time? Like, I know she loves me. This is really stupid.

And so I wrote myself a letter and I said, hey, me, it's me. You know you have no ulterior motives. And I gave it to my wife to read to me. I said, the next time I get annoyed about something and I'm not letting it go, read this to me. And did she do it? Yeah, she only had to do it once because it was so profound that I realized, whoa, you can shift your. So what was the letter?

And so I wrote myself a letter and I said, hey, me, it's me. You know you have no ulterior motives. And I gave it to my wife to read to me. I said, the next time I get annoyed about something and I'm not letting it go, read this to me. And did she do it? Yeah, she only had to do it once because it was so profound that I realized, whoa, you can shift your. So what was the letter?

And so I wrote myself a letter and I said, hey, me, it's me. You know you have no ulterior motives. And I gave it to my wife to read to me. I said, the next time I get annoyed about something and I'm not letting it go, read this to me. And did she do it? Yeah, she only had to do it once because it was so profound that I realized, whoa, you can shift your. So what was the letter?

So the reason that I addressed me is when you're in an argument with somebody, a lot of times you think they're trying to calm you down because they have an ulterior motive. They don't want to feel bad or whatever. When someone upsets you, unless you're unreasonable, they probably actually did something wrong.

So the reason that I addressed me is when you're in an argument with somebody, a lot of times you think they're trying to calm you down because they have an ulterior motive. They don't want to feel bad or whatever. When someone upsets you, unless you're unreasonable, they probably actually did something wrong.

So the reason that I addressed me is when you're in an argument with somebody, a lot of times you think they're trying to calm you down because they have an ulterior motive. They don't want to feel bad or whatever. When someone upsets you, unless you're unreasonable, they probably actually did something wrong.

Like they really did do something that hurt your feelings and you really do feel justified in being upset. I will assume you're not flying off the handle. I'll assume they really did misstep. And so they have misstepped and now you're annoyed about it. And you think that them trying to talk you out of it is because they, they just don't want to feel badly.

Like they really did do something that hurt your feelings and you really do feel justified in being upset. I will assume you're not flying off the handle. I'll assume they really did misstep. And so they have misstepped and now you're annoyed about it. And you think that them trying to talk you out of it is because they, they just don't want to feel badly.

Like they really did do something that hurt your feelings and you really do feel justified in being upset. I will assume you're not flying off the handle. I'll assume they really did misstep. And so they have misstepped and now you're annoyed about it. And you think that them trying to talk you out of it is because they, they just don't want to feel badly.

And so I was like, that never ends up feeling true. What's that? They don't want to feel guilty. Right. But that never ends up feeling true once you've calmed down and you always then can have the compassion and see from their perspective. So I thought, let me just remove that because I know two hours from now or whatever, I'm not going to feel like it was a good use of time to be pissed.

And so I was like, that never ends up feeling true. What's that? They don't want to feel guilty. Right. But that never ends up feeling true once you've calmed down and you always then can have the compassion and see from their perspective. So I thought, let me just remove that because I know two hours from now or whatever, I'm not going to feel like it was a good use of time to be pissed.

And so I was like, that never ends up feeling true. What's that? They don't want to feel guilty. Right. But that never ends up feeling true once you've calmed down and you always then can have the compassion and see from their perspective. So I thought, let me just remove that because I know two hours from now or whatever, I'm not going to feel like it was a good use of time to be pissed.

So, Hey me, it's me.

So, Hey me, it's me.

So, Hey me, it's me.

you know you don't have any ulterior motive other than you know that like there's energy behind neurochemistry and once you get in a flow it gets hard to get out of that but there are physiological hooks into breaking that so right now no matter how you feel i want you to laugh out loud and i want you to laugh out loud until you feel better and you will find you know you've read the studies that if you do that you won't be able to maintain the sense of frustration and

you know you don't have any ulterior motive other than you know that like there's energy behind neurochemistry and once you get in a flow it gets hard to get out of that but there are physiological hooks into breaking that so right now no matter how you feel i want you to laugh out loud and i want you to laugh out loud until you feel better and you will find you know you've read the studies that if you do that you won't be able to maintain the sense of frustration and

you know you don't have any ulterior motive other than you know that like there's energy behind neurochemistry and once you get in a flow it gets hard to get out of that but there are physiological hooks into breaking that so right now no matter how you feel i want you to laugh out loud and i want you to laugh out loud until you feel better and you will find you know you've read the studies that if you do that you won't be able to maintain the sense of frustration and

I did it. I laughed out loud. I was so annoyed. She read it to me, which was courageous. And I said to myself, you told her to read you this letter. So even though it's really annoying that she's reading this letter when you're annoyed. It's your own medicine. Do it. Yeah. And so I laughed out loud and I was like, oh, my God. Literally in like seven seconds. It's absurd how.