Tony Five

speaker

584 appearances 8 recordings 1 series first heard Dec 2025 last heard 14 Jan

Tony Five’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 8 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 7.

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And he said, for constipation relief.

And PSA for those people who are planning on it or thinking about it, don't do anything that breaks.

Don't think like a glass bottle or a light bulb.

There's just no need for it.

Yeah, no light bulb.

How are you, dear boy?

Yes, flattery is the lowest form of flatulence, I believe.

Would I rather do this show?

End of interview.

First answer.

Apologies, Alex, but you're completely wrong.

What the correct answer is, is a nipple sized finger.

The stub in would be fantastic.

Having two sort of scud missiles pointing out of your chest would look absolutely ridiculous.

I don't think it would help your career in any way, shape or form.

I open my iPhone with my face, not my nipples.

So I think I'd be OK.

Correct.

Fancy iPhone, nipple-based finger.

Love it.

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