Tori Dunlap

And I sometimes feel like I can't.

And I was like, I'm not looking for equal.

I'm looking for equitable.

And at this time we weren't living together.

And I was like, let's say we moved in together.

I make a vastly different amount of money than you do.

I would not expect you to split that with me 50-50 because that just doesn't make sense.

But this is where you have to have conversations because the number one cause of marital stress is money.

The number one cause of divorce is money.

And it's because we're not talking about it.

We're not speaking to it.

And this is like perfect full circle in this interview.

But like, we have to talk about money, especially with the people in our life that we're hoping to share our lives with.

You have to be open about your financial trauma, about the way you view money, and also just what you expect out of your partner.

Some people I think are like, yeah, I want my partner to pay for everything.

And other people say, no, I want this to be more equitable.

But you have to figure out what that looks like for you.

And some of them are really not fun to be around.

And again, somebody listening might be, no, I really need a financially equal partner.

For me, it was much more important to have a values-based relationship.