Tracee Ellis Ross
speaker
94 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Tracee Ellis Ross’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Well, I think obviously there's all different kinds of people. There's all different kinds. I mean, and you know, then we are not even entering into the gender fluidity within this conversation. That is so much a part of what the younger generation is making sense of. And I think they're actually doing that really beautifully. I do too.
And I've learned so much from the gender conversation and how it's expanded. I've learned so much about myself and what are the expectations that I didn't know were expectations about being a woman that I'm like, oh, I don't need to own that because I just thought that was a given, but now I know it's not. But I think the societal norm, yes.
I mean, I had a guy say to me recently, yeah, you can't make a man do anything he doesn't want to do. But culturally, you can make a woman do a lot of things she doesn't want to do because we're trained culturally to acquiesce in that way, that that's our role, that we are... But I mean, this guy Ronan, I love the question because...
First of all, what I'll say to Ronan is no one knows you better than you.
And your friends can have all the suggestions in the world. And some of them might be helpful ones. And some of them might be ones you want to consider. And then I think the thing that you have to do is ask yourself, does that feel right for me? Does that really feel like what's going to get the growth to happen?
And sometimes not dating helps people discover that. And sometimes dating is the thing that helps people discover that. Yeah.
Yeah, I do see a lot more of it. I see a lot of it online and I really celebrated. I think it's beautiful to see men have these deeper conversations about who they are and what they want. But the norm is no. And then the other thing to me is the invitation, right? It's like, yes, that's the cultural norm, but the invitation is really to remind everyone, men and women,
to take into account who they are and what is important to you. You know, is somebody's height the most important thing to you and why? Why? Is it because of what other people see or is it because of you? You know what I mean? Like, what is it? And I think those reflective questions not only help you in dating, they just help you in life.
Yes, some people that engages their chemistry.
And I have no judgment, really. Like, there's things for people. Everybody has different values around those things and what's important. Some people don't want deep conversation. Yeah, yeah. Some people, that is not their thing. It feels invasive. It feels uncomfortable. Some people do, you know. I also think for Ronan…
I have come to really know that there's a big difference in somebody that I am looking at dating as a partner and somebody that's somebody to enjoy and take what I like and leave the rest. And I learned as I've gotten older, like chemistry is not a relationship. Ooh, say that again. Chemistry is not a relationship. And love does not always include chemistry. Yes. And I'm somebody who wants both.
Mm-hmm. Now, everybody's not like that. Some people really don't want sort of the passionate chemistry of intimate physical energy. That's not their thing. And you don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who that's one of the ways they communicate love. Like, for example, I have male friends. I have
One that we literally text and it's not flirting and it's all clothes and fashion and shopping. And it's like a version of a relationship. He's the sexiest little thing. He's young. There's never been anything physical. But we have this amazing exchange that happens all the time.
No.
But that's fun, right?
And I'm single. Then I have a friend I go to the movies with. You know what I mean? And then there's people that... And obviously, if I end up in a relationship with someone, those probably will not continue. Those different things. But my friendships will continue because you also can't expect your partner to be everything.
He's having no problems dating.
The other big thing I'm going to say, look, I'm 52. Mm-hmm.
I might not meet a partner. Yeah. Okay. I'm saying, like, I know there's this assumption, right? And the assumption is if you don't, there's something wrong with you. I don't agree.
Like, I'm just like, no, I don't. That's, no. I'm a great match and a great catch and all those things, but I also am going to wait for the right person. So to Ronan, I would say, let yourself own the fact that you want a relationship. And you are going to do all the things you know how to do to walk towards that. And if you don't find the right person, it's not a reflection of you.
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