Ty

Yeah.

Um, how did your parents handle like when you had the visits?

Were they, so obviously they would hang out with you when you were, you know, with your bio mom.

Well, especially when adoptive parents also like if they're –

If they're clinging on to this idea that it was the best and it was – I mean it's hard to break that.

And I've seen it online even with comments.

Like I adopted – my baby is fine.

They love it.

They don't want anything to do with their biofilm.

They never want to look for them.

That you know of.

Yeah, and then I'm like – I'm like, yeah, but the more I talk to adoptees, the more I see this very common thing of like having to emotionally monitor everyone constantly and making sure I'm using the right language.

Yeah, like they're not aware of it, but they're like – I mean like you said, I had to –

you can no they're kind of just they're disturbing yeah they're they're they're serving they're the billboards i see something oh the billboards too yeah yeah this is so hot and i guess that comes down to like when people ask oh is there any way to do this and i'm like well as long as you are why are we making money off these transactions foster care you're not you're not that's people don't people it's crazy that there's so many people lining up to adopt infants privately but you can adopt from foster care it costs you basically nothing

And I think that's important to talk about.

It's because they get sought out.

The foster care system has such a bad reputation.

It gets the rabid.

People are so afraid of it.

I also – and I think it's important to talk about the difference between private infant adoption and foster care adoption because to me it all comes down to if a family is looking to adopt a child and they can't have one biologically, whatever reason it is, and they want to be a parent, it's a lot different than wanting to help a child in crisis.