Ty

It's hard to feel like understood when nobody has gone through it and they just don't, nobody understands at all, unless you've done it and been through it.

It's so difficult.

and it literally took like my second inpatient treatment facility place where my counselor looked at me and she was like your adoption was trauma you relinquishing your child was traumatic and she pointed out because she said anytime you talk about her or your journey uh you know in her birth and stuff you always you'll say something hard but then you'll rebuttal it with but she has an amazing life and she's got all these things and

And I remember her looking at me and her saying, stop.

Sometimes it sucks.

And I want you to sit with that.

Sometimes it's hard and I want to cry.

And sometimes I don't like it.

She was like, quit always doing the butt.

Like just sit in it and feel it because I wouldn't.

I would never want to feel those hard emotions.

I mean, who does?

It's not fun.

Right.

But and I remember I called Tyler after and I was like, I can't believe like I'm just having this first awakening.

It's like, duh, that's traumatic.

Like you're literally handing over your life.

No, no, I never thought about that.

Never.

And I mean, I remember having those feelings, too, of like, you know, is she going to feel even more like why me?