Victoria Shakeshaft
speaker
495 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2022
last heard Aug 2022
Victoria Shakeshaft’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
it's going to create a massive divide or feud in that relationship.
And I think if you've done the wrong thing, it's really hard.
But if you can bring yourself to own up and apologise and say, look, I know I haven't paid you back and I need to, and you can take that list of debts that you've written and show it to them and say, look, either I've done this myself or I've worked with a financial counsellor
This is the list.
I need to do these things before I pay you, but I have a plan to pay you back.
And you need to prepare yourself that they may not forgive you and they don't owe you forgiveness if you have done the wrong thing.
But you should still pay it back to prove to yourself that you can, unless you are happy to let that relationship lapse and you're also happy carrying the weight of that decision.
And you might be, and that's totally fine.
yeah i think oh sorry oh no i was just going to say that going with a plan i think most people like it with many things if you actually go forward with a plan this is what i'm going to do and they can understand the whole picture and maybe they don't know that you have other forms of debt and they don't know the whole picture of what you're dealing with and they think it's just them that um is waiting for their money back so i think that probably gives them a lot of context that in many circumstances that probably helps
Yes.
And if you are thinking about lending money, I think it was Scott Pape that said once that you basically should expect that money lent to family and friends is a gift and not have the expectation that it's going to get paid back.
And this is a really challenging space to be in because depending on the dynamic of your relationship, you know, if there's a trauma basis or
an emotional abuse um basis it can be really difficult to say no and the only thing i can say it won't apply in every situation but you really need to consider if this relationship or friendship ended because i didn't get this money back what would that mean for me but also what would it mean for the other relationships that relate to this one you know are you going to have 20 friends choosing sides are you going to have your whole family rift like split in half
because of you lending money that then hasn't been paid back.
So those are the only kind of tips that I can give you.
And there's no short of taking the person to court.
There's no, you know, that's not covered by the credit code.
It's not, there's no real basis for you to claim that money back.
So it is, I have so much
So much empathy for people that have to make these decisions because generally you love the person that is asking this of you.
Showing 221–240 of 495 · page 12 of 25
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