Vontavious Carlique

All right.

Dave starts the pot.

I love it.

All right, it is 101.3 KDWB, and we are about to do, because it is election day, there is a mayoral election in Minneapolis.

Mm-hmm.

Out in different areas, there's different things that you're voting on.

Ours in Chan is like, I think, a school levy where they're going to give more money to more kids, something like that.

And so we're doing a political ad here.

I am running against Bailey J. Hess.

Yep.

And I have my political ad right now.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

Bailey J. Hess is not qualified.

Not only is she unqualified, she's downright dangerous.

Sure, Bailey J. Hess claims she's compassionate, but she plans to kick you out of your house and turn it into a giant cat sanctuary.

She chose her cat cap as her running mate and wants cats to roam free to claw up your furniture and make puking noises while you're trying to sleep.

Bailey plans to shutter every hospital, turning them into theaters for bad productions of Little Shop of Horrors and Fiddler on the Roof, claiming that sick people don't need doctors, they need an amateurish version of South Pacific.

Bailey J. Hess, a woman with no middle name, just an initial.

Can you trust anyone?