Will Bynum

speaker

273 appearances 4 recordings 1 series first heard Sep 2022 last heard Oct 2022

Will Bynum’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Nocturnists · 1 - Shame in Medicine: Hello, Shame · 13 Sep 2022 podcast

And I can feel my heartbeat in my ears.

I can feel my guts fall out on the floor.

I can feel my temperature rising.

I feel incredibly uncomfortable.

and incredibly exposed.

Like I was standing under a bank of those hot, bright operating room lights.

And the rest of the room around me is dark.

And there I am panicking.

And what I see are the eyes of the people standing around me.

That's all I see.

And I feel the judgment.

And the only thing I know to do in that moment, some sort of subconscious primitive impulse is to leave the room.

And I do that, which is not something I would usually do or have ever done.

But I left, I handed the baby off.

I handed the vacuum device off and I literally left the room in the middle of the situation.

And when I get out in the hall,

I'm disoriented and I just start walking.

And the only thing guiding where I go next is the desire to get as far away from that room, that mom, that baby, the nurses and the obstetrician as possible.

And after walking through, it feels like a maze of hallways in the hospital.

I find myself on the complete other end of the hospital and of all places, a meditation room.

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