William Stixrud
speaker
322 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2019
last heard Jul 2021
William Stixrud’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So in in this self-driven child, do we have uh two main concerns?
You know, one is that that this epidemic of mental health problems in in in kids and teenagers.
And the second is that well, Ned and I see a lot of kids who have what we can call disordered motivation, where they're either they don't want to work hard or they're just obsessively driven.
And we we discovered that the key to both really is a sense of control, having a sense of control.
control o over your own life.
And so s since we wrote the book, you know, we we've we've given hundreds of talks uh about the book and and we're just you know go to Seattle and we hear about second grade kids who are full on school refusal.
We go to Dallas and and and and and the counselors say that the fifth grade boys are having panic attacks due to the pressure of middle school.
You know, we we realize this is a pretty important message that th that that that helping kids have a stronger sense of control over their own lives, let their brains work well so that they can focus and they aren't unduly anxious all the time.
And our agent actually said, you gotta make this easier for people.
Write a book that that gives more language, that tells people how to talk to kids in a way that will develop this healthy sense of control and this internal motivation and a stress system that's efficient, that works well and is just not on overdrive all the time.
And I'll just say too that that I I'm always thinking about in some ways about the kids that that that Ned sees tons of, the kids who are these really from the really high achieving schools, these kind of very stressed out kind of kids, overachiever types, and the kids that I see, a lot of all of whom have ADHD or or or learning disabilities or autism, and and challenge it and think about the stress re related issues and the motivational issues.
Those
kids and and also kids who you don't have a lot of advantages and w w where the connection for those families as well.
I mean, in s some ways that w we all have a human nervous system and and and and and as babies, all we respond to i is is warmth and responsiveness.
And and so a lot of the stuff about communication really is about connecting and and and just using kind of psychology that applies to everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah yeah, absolutely.
I mean, partly because I mean just to think about it, um, that w when I first I I I knew about this idea of a non-anxious presence for for years.
Okay, I I I learned it from a business consultant book.
Um, but then I thought about it as applied to parents.
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