Xander Marin

speaker

2,548 appearances 9 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 6d ago

Xander Marin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 9 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 4.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

Pillow Talks · E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years) · 3 Sep 2026 podcast

Yeah, because I think a lot of people, like Vanessa said, are hear this brain and physical desire type are like, oh well that that sounds like the ideal. podcast-host

I will say that one of the biggest challenges, if you are this desire type, is it people of that type often podcast-host

Will push back against regular intimacy, against perceived like the same type of thing over and over. podcast-host

Like they will feel like, oh, well, I want it to come out of nowhere. podcast-host

I want my partner to always be approaching me totally randomly and taking me by surprise and being open to having sex whenever I do, in very random and often inopportune moments. podcast-host

So that can, while it can feel fun to like, oh yeah, I want to be able to be thinking about it all the time and be open to it all the time. podcast-host

The the dark side of this side is that often, even though someone might be having very regular and consistent sex, and someone of this type can feel like, oh well, but I just I want it to happen even more spontaneously. podcast-host

And that ends up not being very practical often. podcast-host

And so there there can end up being a lot of a lot of worrying and anxiety and complaining about what otherwise seems like a very good sex life and that can create its own challenges. podcast-host

Yeah, so I I thought something was wrong with me for so long. podcast-host

Like I thought that I must have responsive desire or I'm not like I never think about it spontaneously because I don't respond or I I didn't used to respond super well to spontaneous initiation, which when Vanessa initiated, often it would be very spontaneous. podcast-host

And that created a lot of friction between us and it also caused me to podcast-host

Feel really bad about myself because it's like, oh, this isn't the male stereotype. podcast-host

But once I once we started kind of breaking down these different types and I realized, wait, I do think about sex all the time and at very random moments. podcast-host

I think about sex in general. podcast-host

But when it comes to me actually wanting to have sex with Vanessa, I need to feel a certain level of connection. podcast-host

And so for me, then I started realizing, oh, okay, like I just, you know, I just need to be like, I just need to hang out with her for a couple of minutes. podcast-host

And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh hell yeah, I'm ready to go. podcast-host

And so that really that really helped me. podcast-host

And I think that helped you a lot understand me and kind of tailor the way that we talk about sex and the way that we have sex, um, so that we understand each other a lot better. podcast-host

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