EPISODE 205: Couples Coaching Session: How To Ask For More Even If You Don’t Know What You Want
Thu, 24 Apr 2025
We’re back this week with another coaching episode — where we listen to real voice notes from re...
EPISODE 204: Confessions Of An Overactive Bladder
Thu, 17 Apr 2025
If you’ve ever joked about “peeing just a little” when you sneeze, or you’re the kind of per...
EPISODE 203: Is This Cheating? Part 2
Thu, 10 Apr 2025
Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch? What about a flirty Snapchat streak with...
EPISODE 202: Am I being defensive, or am I defending myself?
Thu, 03 Apr 2025
We’ve all had that moment — your partner brings something up, and suddenly you’re snapping bac...
EPISODE 201: Couples Coaching Session: They Love Each Other… So Why Does Their Sex Life Feel Stuck?
Thu, 27 Mar 2025
🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode! Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you k...
EPISODE 200: 200 Episodes Later: Let’s Get Personal! (Ask Us Anything)
Thu, 20 Mar 2025
🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉 It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. The...
EPISODE 199: Am I The Asshole? Masturbation, Snooping, and Jealousy
Thu, 13 Mar 2025
We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the w...
EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)
Thu, 06 Mar 2025
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… f...
EPISODE 197: Ask A Sex Therapist - Resentment, Sexual Frustration, And The Death Grip
Thu, 27 Feb 2025
Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you ...
EPISODE 196: 90 Prompts to Transform Your Sex Life (We Answer Some Live!)
Thu, 20 Feb 2025
🔥 Let’s talk about sex—but let’s make it fun, flirty, and way less awkward. In this episode...
Episode 195: Giddyup, Cowgirl! Tips, Tricks, & Techniques For Maximum Pleasure
Thu, 13 Feb 2025
Cowgirl is one of the most empowering positions in the bedroom—so why do so many of us avoid it? 🤠...
Episode 194: What Your Partner Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom Part 2
Thu, 06 Feb 2025
Have you ever wondered if there’s something you do in the bedroom that your partner secretly (or n...
Episode 193: The Things We Can’t Say In The Comments
Thu, 30 Jan 2025
Ever wonder what we really want to say when someone leaves a spicy comment on one of our social medi...
Episode 192: “Is This Normal?” Part 4 — Low Desire Husband, Never Had A Fight, & Baby Talk
Thu, 23 Jan 2025
We’re diving into part 4 of one of our favorite series, “Is This Normal?” We’ll be explorin...
Episode 191: Breaking Free From Purity Culture And Religious Shame
Thu, 16 Jan 2025
If you were raised in Purity Culture, you already know how challenging it can be to overcome now tha...
Episode 190: Am I Being Reasonable Or Ridiculous?
Thu, 09 Jan 2025
Have you ever wanted something from your partner, but found yourself wondering, “Am I asking too m...
Episode 189: Can We Have A Fresh Start? Or Is It Too Late?
Thu, 02 Jan 2025
It’s officially 2025 and you might be feeling like your relationship could use a fresh start. We a...
Episode 188: Is Your Ultimatum Going To Work?
Thu, 26 Dec 2024
We were feeling inspired… The Ultimatum is back on Netflix, and it was wild. It left us wondering ...
Episode 187: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition Part 2
Thu, 19 Dec 2024
Tis the Season for DRAMA! We’re so excited to bring you another hilarious “Am I The Asshole?” ...
Episode 186: Period Sex, Internal Vs External Processors, & Queer In A Straight Relationship
Thu, 12 Dec 2024
There are a ton of topics we want to cover on this podcast, but sometimes we just don’t have enoug...
Episode 185: How To Navigate Porn In Your Relationship
Thu, 05 Dec 2024
Today we’re tackling one of the trickiest and most controversial topics we get asked about - porn....
Episode 184: How To Get More Physical Intimacy From Your Partner
Wed, 27 Nov 2024
Do you want more physical intimacy in your relationship? In this episode, we’re talking about diff...
Episode 183: How To Get More Emotional Intimacy From Your Partner
Thu, 21 Nov 2024
Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re covering wha...
Episode 182: “Help! I’m Not Into My Partner’s Fantasy!”
Thu, 14 Nov 2024
What happens when you have a fantasy that your partner is just not into? When your “yum” is thei...
Episode 181: A Brutally Honest Relationship Check-In
Thu, 07 Nov 2024
How are we really doing? We had a plan to talk about a different topic, but once we sat down in fron...
Episode 180: Smash Or Pass: We Try The Weirdest Women’s Magazines Sex Tips
Thu, 31 Oct 2024
It’s time for another edition of one of our most popular series, Smash or Pass! This is where we t...
Episode 179: All Your Female Orgasm Questions: Answered!
Thu, 24 Oct 2024
What’s the difference between a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and cervical orgasm? What’s squi...
Episode 178: Tie-Breakers: We Solve Your Relationship Standoffs
Thu, 17 Oct 2024
We’re bringing one of our favorite Instagram games to the podcast, Tie-Breakers! We asked our comm...
Episode 177: Why You Should Try Mutual Masturbation And How To Do It
Thu, 10 Oct 2024
Mutual masturbation is one of the sexiest things you can do in the bedroom! But when we asked our au...
Episode 176: Is This Cheating?
Thu, 03 Oct 2024
Is it cheating to keep nudes from past relationships? Have an Only Fans account? Have a “work wife...
Episode 175: “Should I Put Up With This In The Bedroom?”
Thu, 26 Sep 2024
Is there something your partner does in the bedroom that you’re not sure you should put up with? ...
Episode 174: Ask Us Anything: Addressing All Of Your Assumptions
Thu, 19 Sep 2024
Does Vanessa wear the pants in the relationship? Are we skipping out on meetings to have sex in the ...
Episode 173: I’m Attracted To Someone Else, What Do I Do?
Thu, 12 Sep 2024
Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relati...
Episode 172: Bring Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom (Without Making It Weird)
Thu, 05 Sep 2024
Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response...
Episode 171: Your Funniest Stories About Getting “The Talk”
Thu, 29 Aug 2024
“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…” We’ve all been there at some point in our chi...
Episode 170: What Do Women Really Think About ___? Part 2
Thu, 22 Aug 2024
We’re back with Part 2 of our “What Do Women Really Think About…?” series. We turned to our ...
Episode 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2
Thu, 15 Aug 2024
Ever had a frustrating situation with a partner that left you wondering, “Is this your problem to ...
Episode 168: Long Distance? How To Keep The Spark Alive
Thu, 08 Aug 2024
Long distance relationships are hard! About 14 million people are in long distance relationships in ...
Episode 167: Should We Open Our Relationship?
Thu, 01 Aug 2024
Have you ever considered opening your relationship? Or just ever felt nosy about why other people op...
Episode 166: How To Create More Privacy For Sex
Thu, 25 Jul 2024
Does a lack of privacy get in the way of your sex life? You’re not alone. 62% of our audience say ...
Episode 165: How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner
Thu, 18 Jul 2024
Did you know that only 24% of people said they’re happy with the level of vulnerability in their r...
Episode 164: Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It
Thu, 11 Jul 2024
Your partner wants you to flirt with them more! But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HO...
Episode 163: Should We Have A Threesome?
Thu, 04 Jul 2024
Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies, but most of us feel completely clueless about how t...
Episode 162: “Is This Normal?” Part 3 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
Thu, 27 Jun 2024
Get ready for the highly anticipated third act to one of our most popular episodes yet - Is This Nor...
Episode 161: We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!
Thu, 20 Jun 2024
Today we’re getting ULTRA personal, and answering all your questions about our recent experience i...
Episode 160: These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups
Thu, 13 Jun 2024
Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship? In today’s episode we’re reveal...
Episode 159: “Why Do Guys Do This?” - Xander Explains Male Behavior Part 2
Thu, 06 Jun 2024
Xander’s back in the hot seat answering all your burning questions about male behavior! Why do guy...
Episode 158: Maybe It’s Not Low Libido…
Thu, 30 May 2024
When the spark dies off in a relationship, it’s really easy to blame it on libido. But is libido a...
Episode 157: Come on a Double Date with Us! (“Know Ya Boo” Part 2)
Thu, 23 May 2024
Welcome to our 2nd round of “Know Ya Boo” (bonus points if you get the Parks and Rec reference)....
Episode 156: What To Do When It’s Been A While… (The Dry Spell Episode)
Thu, 16 May 2024
What do you do when it’s been a while… When you don’t remember the last time you had sex. When...
Episode 155: Am I The Asshole? In-Laws Edition
Thu, 09 May 2024
We’re back again with another edition of Am I The Asshole. This time around we’re talking about ...
Episode 154: How To Stop Feeling Resentment In Your Relationship
Thu, 02 May 2024
A few weeks ago we asked our community if they felt resentment in their relationship and only 29% sa...
Episode 153: The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About
Thu, 25 Apr 2024
Imagine this… you’re crawling into bed at the end of the night, thinking, “Hmmm sex sounds nic...
Episode 152: Breaking Down A Text Fight
Thu, 18 Apr 2024
You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a t...
Episode 151: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)
Thu, 11 Apr 2024
If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex o...
Episode 150: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)
Thu, 04 Apr 2024
We really went there… It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we fin...
Episode 149: Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do
Thu, 28 Mar 2024
“This, uh, isn’t working…” Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance is...
Episode 148: “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)
Thu, 21 Mar 2024
“I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.” Have you ever been in the heat of a...
Episode 147: Your Sexual Fantasies Revealed
Thu, 14 Mar 2024
Have you ever wondered what everyone secretly fantasizes about? We anonymously polled our audience, ...
Episode 146: Are You Nagging? Or Is Your Partner Being Childish?
Thu, 07 Mar 2024
75% of people say that nagging is an issue in their relationship. So we thought it was time we gave ...
Episode 145: What Your Partner Secretly Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom
Thu, 29 Feb 2024
Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom? W...
Episode 144: We’re In Couples Therapy
Thu, 22 Feb 2024
Surprise! We’re in couples therapy. We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episode...
Episode 143: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex
Thu, 15 Feb 2024
Today, we’re tackling a huge issue that so many people can relate to… feeling uncomfortable in y...
Episode 142: Are You Lazy In Bed? Here’s What Your Partner Says…
Thu, 08 Feb 2024
Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your p...
Episode 141: How To Get Your Partner To Be More Romantic
Thu, 01 Feb 2024
79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy ...
Episode 140: What Your Sex Personality Type Says About You In The Bedroom
Thu, 25 Jan 2024
You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ i...
Episode 139: Xander’s Vasectomy Part 2: Answering Your Questions About Pain, Performance, And Masculinity
Thu, 18 Jan 2024
Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want ...
Episode 138: Your Funniest Foreplay Fails
Thu, 11 Jan 2024
We asked you to share your funniest foreplay fails, and you REALLY delivered! Today we’re sharing ...
Episode 137: Xander Got A Vasectomy!
Thu, 04 Jan 2024
Xander got a vasectomy! By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how a...
Episode 136: The Top 10 Pillow Talks Podcast Moments of 2023
Thu, 28 Dec 2023
2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our y...
Episode 135: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition
Thu, 21 Dec 2023
The first time we did Am I The Asshole it was a major success, so we knew we had to bring it back fo...
Episode 134: Everything You’re Getting Wrong About Intercourse (And How To Get It Right)
Thu, 14 Dec 2023
We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dy...
Episode 133: Dead Bedrooms Part 2: We Coach Another Couple Through Resuscitating Their Sex Life
Thu, 07 Dec 2023
“We’re just not having sex anymore...” If you’ve found yourself uttering (or even just ...
Episode 132: Why We Started Making Out Every Night
Thu, 30 Nov 2023
This episode is all about the most viral piece of content we’ve ever made - why we make out every ...
Episode 131: How Honest Is Too Honest?
Wed, 22 Nov 2023
“What? I was just being honest!” This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered d...
Episode 130: The Bristle Reaction, Icky Initiation, And Bad Assumptions: 5 Surprising Lessons From Your Feedback About Our Book
Thu, 16 Nov 2023
In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life...
Episode 129: Do You Have Silent Sex? Here’s Why That’s A Problem
Thu, 09 Nov 2023
Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex. Di...
Episode 128: Sneaky Ways To Get Your Partner More Involved In Your Relationship
Thu, 02 Nov 2023
Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they w...
Episode 127: Ask Us Anything: Spilling Our Business Secrets
Thu, 26 Oct 2023
This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doi...
Episode 126: Queefing, And Farting, And Squirting, Oh My! Bodily Functions In The Bedroom
Thu, 19 Oct 2023
Is it normal to notice a bad odor after intercourse? What about queefing? How the heck does everyone...
Episode 125: Am I The Asshole?
Thu, 12 Oct 2023
Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our...
Episode 124: Is Your Sex Life Too Boring?
Thu, 05 Oct 2023
Did you know that 86% of people worry that their sex life is too boring? It’s so easy to get ...
Episode 123: A Parent’s Guide To Making Time For Sex And Intimacy
Thu, 28 Sep 2023
Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hea...
Episode 122: “Don’t Touch Me Like That”: Confronting Unwanted Touch In Your Relationship
Thu, 21 Sep 2023
Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A s...
Episode 121: When She Wants It More: Navigating Mismatched Libidos When The Woman Has A Higher Drive
Thu, 14 Sep 2023
Are you a woman who wants sex more than your male partner? All we see on TV, movies, and social medi...
Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” - Xander Explains Male Behavior
Thu, 07 Sep 2023
Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about ...
Episode 119: Jealousy In Relationships: Why Do We Get Jealous, And What Do We Do About It?
Thu, 31 Aug 2023
Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions to face, and it feels even trickier when it comes up ...
Episode 118: The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong
Thu, 24 Aug 2023
Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the cr...
Episode 117: So You Think You Know Us? Answering Your Assumptions!
Thu, 17 Aug 2023
What do you assume or secretly suspect about us? Or what have you simply been curious about? In...
Episode 116: What Do I Do When My Partner Is Always On Their Phone?
Thu, 10 Aug 2023
Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotel...
Episode 115: Grief And Sex: Loving Each Other Through A Loss
Thu, 03 Aug 2023
How do you maintain intimacy while grieving? We’ve had many requests to create this podcast episo...
Episode 114: Can We Come Back From This? Part 2: Even More Relationship Make Or Break Moments
Thu, 27 Jul 2023
Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back fro...
Episode 113: Bump And Grind: Sex During Pregnancy
Thu, 20 Jul 2023
Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormo...
Episode 112: Creating A Shortcut To Intimacy With Compliments
Thu, 13 Jul 2023
Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intima...
Episode 111: What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Talk About Sex
Thu, 06 Jul 2023
Why is it so hard to talk to your partner about sex? You talk about everything else, but the minute ...
Episode 110: Unzipped And Unfiltered: Your Funniest Sex Fails
Thu, 29 Jun 2023
Want to hear some of the craziest things that have ever happened to our community in the middle of s...
Episode 109: This ONE Thing Is Secretly Affecting Your ENTIRE Relationship
Thu, 22 Jun 2023
Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiat...
Episode 108: “Help! I’ve Been Faking Orgasms So Long I Don’t Know How To Stop!”
Thu, 15 Jun 2023
Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have start...
Episode 107: Ask Each Other Anything: Celebrating Our Queer Community With A Q&A
Thu, 08 Jun 2023
This week, we’re dedicating an entire episode to our queer community! Inclusivity is one of our co...
Episode 106: Exposing Our Biggest Relationship Frustrations With Enneagram Expert Tracy O’Malley
Thu, 01 Jun 2023
In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on T...
Episode 105: “Is This Normal?” 2.0 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
Thu, 25 May 2023
Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode...
Episode 104: An Exclusive Sneak Peek: Chapter One Of Sex Talks
Thu, 18 May 2023
Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get...
Episode 103: What Do Women Really Think About…? (Masturbation, Butt Stuff, Penis Size, And More!)
Thu, 11 May 2023
Our “What Do Men Really Think About” episodes were so popular that we knew we just had to do an ...
Episode 102: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Intercourse Edition)
Thu, 04 May 2023
You wanna go another round? Because we DEFINITELY do! It’s time for part 2 of Smash Or Pass, our s...
Episode 101: Is Gaming Hurting Your Relationship? Part 1 Of The “I Love You But I Don’t Like You” Series
Thu, 27 Apr 2023
Have you ever looked at your partner and thought to yourself, “I love you, but I don’t like you ...
Episode 100: Our 100th Episode Extravaganza: The Ultimate Round of “Know Ya Boo”
Thu, 20 Apr 2023
Can you believe this is our 100th episode??? We knew we had to do something super special to commemo...
Episode 99: The Bristle Reaction: What It Is, How It Happens, And What You Can Do To Fix It
Thu, 13 Apr 2023
Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa creat...
Episode 98: Dead Bedrooms: We Coach One Couple Through Resuscitating Their Sex Life
Thu, 06 Apr 2023
It’s time to talk about Dead Bedrooms. Does your sex life feel like a ghost of what it used to be?...
Episode 97: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Foreplay Edition)
Thu, 30 Mar 2023
We’ve all seen the articles from cheesy women’s magazines (and TikTok)…“10 foolproof ways to...
Episode 96: Things That Go Bump (Or Bang) In the Night
Thu, 23 Mar 2023
Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time? In the same bed? In the same ROOM? It’s e...
Episode 95: Mental Load Part 2: Conversations About Perfectionism, Gender Roles, And Finding Balance With Your Partner
Thu, 16 Mar 2023
Mental Load sucks. But are you accidentally making it even harder? We originally talked about M...
Episode 94: The “Start Here” Episode - Allow Us To Reintroduce Ourselves
Thu, 09 Mar 2023
Welcome to Pillow Talks! Is this your first time listening to our podcast? Maybe you bought our book...
Episode 93: Would You Rather?
Thu, 02 Mar 2023
Ready for the most epic game of Would You Rather? We’ve done Would You Rather on Instagram a ...
Episode 92: The Brutally Honest Truth About Our New York Times Best Selling Book
Thu, 23 Feb 2023
It’s official… Sex Talks is a New York Times INSTANT Bestseller! But to be totally up front...
Episode 91: “Is This Normal?” 15 Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
Thu, 16 Feb 2023
Have you ever had a question that you were too embarrassed to even Google? You know, the kinda stuff...
Episode 90: Why Missionary Is (Secretly) Our Favorite Position
Thu, 09 Feb 2023
Is it OK if you and your partner keep finding yourselves coming back to the missionary position duri...
Episode 89: How To Get The Intimacy You’ve Always Craved
Thu, 02 Feb 2023
Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in...
Episode 88: How To Decide If You Should Have Kids Or Not. And Are We Still Child Free By Choice?
Thu, 26 Jan 2023
When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode...
Episode 87: Sex Talks: Sharing All The Secrets Behind Writing Our First Book
Thu, 19 Jan 2023
If you’ve been following us for a bit, you probably know that we have a book, Sex Talks: The Five ...
Episode 86: Ask Us Anything Part 4: This Time It’s Personal
Thu, 12 Jan 2023
It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the...
Episode 85: Make 2023 The Year You Finally Feel Sexy
Thu, 05 Jan 2023
What makes a person sexy? We all want to be sexy, but most of us don’t feel that way very often (o...
Episode 84: Top 10 Podcast Moments of 2022
Thu, 29 Dec 2022
What a year 2022 has been!!! In 52 episodes, we’ve gotten more vulnerable than we’ve ever dared,...
Episode 83: How To Fight Fair In A Relationship: Breaking Down A Listener Argument
Thu, 22 Dec 2022
Be honest - if you look back at your last fight with your partner, are you happy with how it went? W...
Episode 82: The 15 Lessons That Keep Us Saying “I Do” After 15 Years
Thu, 15 Dec 2022
On December 15th, 2007, a tired girl got dragged to a Christmas party and met a DJ with a heart of g...
Episode 81: Ho Ho Help! How To Survive Holiday Stress
Thu, 08 Dec 2022
It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved...
Episode 80: Be A Man And Talk About Your Feelings
Thu, 01 Dec 2022
Ever wondered why the man in your life is so emotionally reserved? Ever been frustrated by how unwil...
Episode 79: Sex Confessions: The Good, The Bad, And The WTF
Wed, 23 Nov 2022
Need a good laugh today? Everyone knows how stressful the holiday season can be, so if you need to l...
Episode 78: Initiation: What You And Your Partner Are Doing Wrong - And How To Get It Right
Thu, 17 Nov 2022
Initiation is SUPPOSED to feel sexy and enticing. When we see it on TV, it always looks so easy. One...
Episode 77: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Orgasms
Thu, 10 Nov 2022
There are few things in life we’re more passionate about than orgasms! We want you to understand t...
Episode 76: How Much Do You Really Want It? The Sex Drive Episode
Thu, 03 Nov 2022
Do you want a higher sex drive? Bet you said, “yes!” without thinking twice. 74% of our Instagra...
Episode 75: Am I Being Unreasonable?
Thu, 27 Oct 2022
You love your partner, for better or worse, but there’s just that THING that gets under your skin....
Episode 74: Are We…Growing Apart?
Thu, 20 Oct 2022
You come home after a long day, you see your partner, but you don’t say anything more than “hi”...
Episode 73: Do You Ever “Owe” Sex To Your Partner?
Thu, 13 Oct 2022
Have you ever had your partner initiate sex and thought to yourself, “I should probably just do it...
Episode 72: The Lowdown On Painful Sex
Thu, 06 Oct 2022
Have you ever been having intercourse and thought to yourself, “Oh, this hurts, and not in a good ...
Episode 71: Ask Us Anything Part 3: Extra Spicy Edition
Thu, 29 Sep 2022
You saw the question box. You dug deep and swung for the fences. Now buckle up, because it is our tu...
Episode 70: How To Keep Stress Low And Pleasure High When You’re Trying To Conceive
Thu, 22 Sep 2022
Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods o...
Episode 69: What Do Men REALLY Think About… Part Two! (Lingerie, Boobs, Money, Queefing, and More!)
Thu, 15 Sep 2022
Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think abou...
Episode 68: The Ultimate Butt Stuff Episode
Thu, 08 Sep 2022
No, you’re not having deja vu… Butt Stuff is back! We originally released a Butt Stuff epis...
Episode 67: Hot Takes: How We REALLY Feel About Your Most Requested Topics
Thu, 01 Sep 2022
Definition of hot take: a quickly produced, strongly worded, and often deliberately provocative or ...
Episode 66: The True Story Of How We Built A Sex Therapy Business
Thu, 25 Aug 2022
You’ve asked us over email, Instagram, YouTube, everything short of a carrier pigeon… How the he...
Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process
Thu, 18 Aug 2022
Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over dr...
Episode 64: Are You Roommates or Romantic Partners?
Thu, 11 Aug 2022
Are you worried you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? We asked our Instagram audience, and t...
Episode 63: Does Your Partner Care Enough About YOUR Pleasure?
Thu, 04 Aug 2022
Do you ever find yourself feeling kinda… disappointed after intercourse with your partner? Or...
Episode 62: The Truth About Money and Relationships
Thu, 28 Jul 2022
Are you sick of fighting about money in your relationship? Maybe you’ve even thought you and your ...
Episode 61: Putting The O Back In Mom: Reigniting Your Sex Life After Kids
Thu, 21 Jul 2022
Are you struggling to have a great sex life now that you’re a mom? As women, we wear so many ...
Episode 60: Help! My Partner Hates Self-Improvement!
Thu, 14 Jul 2022
You read all the books, listen to all the podcast episodes, and do all the meditations and affirmati...
Episode 59: Roleplaying 101: Ditch The Awkwardness And Find Your Confidence
Thu, 07 Jul 2022
In today’s episode we’re diving into something that 74% of our audience have never done - rolepl...
Episode 58: The Sex Act You Should Be Doing - But Probably Aren’t
Thu, 30 Jun 2022
Today’s episode is about one of the most underrated sex acts that you’re probably not doing… m...
Episode 57: Is This Your Shit Or Mine?
Thu, 23 Jun 2022
“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?” “Is it my h...
Episode 56: What Do Men REALLY Think About… ? (Vulvas, Emotional Intimacy, And More!)
Thu, 16 Jun 2022
Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair...
Episode 55: The 69 Episode
Thu, 09 Jun 2022
Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own epis...
Episode 54: Ask Us Anything Part 2: MORE Of Your Burning Questions, Answered
Thu, 02 Jun 2022
We were WRONG. Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode...
Episode 53: How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners
Thu, 26 May 2022
Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing so...
Episode 52: How To Get Your Man To Take Control In The Bedroom
Thu, 19 May 2022
You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up ...
Episode 51: The Art of Flirting (In a Long Term Relationship)
Thu, 12 May 2022
“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!” A lot of us in...
Episode 50: I Don’t Know How To Say This, But...
Thu, 05 May 2022
You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just... don’t know how? Mayb...
Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It)
Thu, 28 Apr 2022
Squirting: is it real? Where does it come from? IS IT PEE?! In this episode, we are doing a dee...
Episode 48: How To Get Out Of (And Prevent) Dry Spells
Thu, 21 Apr 2022
Can’t remember the last time you had sex? Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been...
Episode 47: What Penis Performance Problems REALLY Mean
Thu, 14 Apr 2022
You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and lea...
Episode 46: The Hygiene Episode: What To Do If Your Partner Isn’t Taking Care Of Themselves
Thu, 07 Apr 2022
If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deod...
Episode 45: Busting – And Confirming! – The Wildest Sex Myths
Thu, 31 Mar 2022
Is squirting really just pee? Can pineapple make your vulva taste and smell sweet? What the heck is ...
Episode 44: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up
Thu, 24 Mar 2022
Do you find yourself wishing your partner would share more about their emotions, or at least just mo...
Episode 43: How To STOP Getting Distracted During Sex!
Thu, 17 Mar 2022
Have you ever been in the middle of some HOT sex and all of a sudden you start thinking about someth...
Episode 42: Are You Sexually Compatible?
Thu, 10 Mar 2022
“Are we sexually compatible?” This haunting question comes up in the majority of relationships a...
Episode 41: The Ask Us Anything Episode: All Your Burning Questions, Answered!
Thu, 03 Mar 2022
So how DID Xander propose? How often do we really have sex? You’re about to find out in this “as...
Episode 40: When Your Partner Wants Sex But You Don’t
Thu, 24 Feb 2022
What do you do when your partner initiates sex, but you’re not in the mood? This can be one o...
Episode 39: If You Had To Ask, Does It Even Count?
Thu, 17 Feb 2022
You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have...
Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?
Thu, 10 Feb 2022
There are two types of people: those who need to feel connected before having sex, and those that ne...
Episode 37: The Truth About Why We’re Child-Free
Thu, 03 Feb 2022
One of the most frequent questions we get is, “Do you have kids?” Followed closely by “why don...
Episode 36: Can We Come Back From This?
Thu, 27 Jan 2022
What do you do when your partner says something hurtful that you just can’t shake, even months or ...
Episode 35: Fine, I’ll Just Do It Myself: The Danger of Weaponized Incompetence
Thu, 20 Jan 2022
Has your partner ever done a task so poorly or asked you so many questions that you finally just sai...
Episode 34: I Want You To Want Me
Thu, 13 Jan 2022
We all want to feel desired, but so often in relationships we get into a place where it feels like o...
Episode 33: The Episode We Almost Didn’t Release
Thu, 06 Jan 2022
Full transparency: we didn’t know if we were going to release this episode. We’re talking about ...
Episode 32: 5 Ways To Make 2022 Your Most Intimate AND Nasty Year Ever
Thu, 30 Dec 2021
This episode is all about making 2022 the best year of your relationship yet! Get our five favorite ...
Episode 31: Should We Open Our Relationship?
Thu, 23 Dec 2021
Have you ever thought about opening up your relationship? Have WE ever thought about opening up our ...
Episode 30: Sex With Other People...Around
Thu, 16 Dec 2021
Having sex when there are guests around (or when you are a guest in someone's home) can be a major s...
Episode 29: Anxious? Avoidant? What Your Attachment Style Says About You (And Your Relationship)
Thu, 09 Dec 2021
Attachment Style Theory looks at the ways we respond to other people based on the way we responded t...
Episode 28: So Your Partner Told You Their Fantasy... And You're Not Into It
Thu, 02 Dec 2021
Do you have a fantasy you've always wanted to explore? Maybe your partner does as well, but it doesn...
Episode 27: Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide
Wed, 24 Nov 2021
In-laws are tricky. Holidays are tricky. Put them together and you've got some truly stressful situa...
Episode 26: Are You Good In Bed?
Thu, 18 Nov 2021
We turned to our Instagram audience @vanessamarintherapy to ask them "what makes someone good in bed...
Episode 25: Are You Too Needy?
Thu, 11 Nov 2021
When you hear the word 'needy', it's probably the last thing you would ever want to be described as;...
Episode 23: Butt Stuff!
Thu, 28 Oct 2021
What makes anal play so great anyway and why are people so intimidated by it? Well, we're answering ...
Episode 22: How To Not Pass Sexual Shame On To Your Kids
Thu, 21 Oct 2021
In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment tha...
Episode 21: Cowgirls And Doggies And [Redacted], Oh My! Your Guide To Trying New Sex Positions
Thu, 14 Oct 2021
Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimi...
Episode 20: Should We Break Up?
Thu, 07 Oct 2021
How do you know if or when to end a relationship? To see if we could help answer that question, we ...
Episode 19: How To Have Amazing Sex With A Brand New Partner
Thu, 30 Sep 2021
Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time...
Episode 18: How To Get That New Relationship Energy Back
Thu, 23 Sep 2021
We all want to feel wanted. That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your r...
Episode 17: How To Allow Yourself To Receive In The Bedroom
Thu, 16 Sep 2021
In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are ...
Episode 16: No, Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way - Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility
Thu, 09 Sep 2021
Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your...
Episode 15: The Secret To Feeling More Pleasure In The Bedroom
Thu, 02 Sep 2021
Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all abo...
Episode 14: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, And Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships
Thu, 26 Aug 2021
Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disa...
Episode 13: How To Handle Rejection When Your Partner Says No To Sex
Thu, 19 Aug 2021
Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out ...
Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body - Even If You Don't
Thu, 12 Aug 2021
Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily stru...
Episode 11: How Vanessa Turned Her Orgasm Struggles Into A Sex Therapy Business!
Thu, 05 Aug 2021
When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what th...
Episode 10: Communication Breakdowns: We Coach Real Couples Through Their Worst Fights So You Can Get Better At Yours
Thu, 29 Jul 2021
Good communication is really hard. We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it...
Episode 9: How Often Is Everyone REALLY Having Sex? And What's Healthy For Your Relationship?
Thu, 22 Jul 2021
Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many o...
Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame
Thu, 15 Jul 2021
Did you grow up in Purity Culture? Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until mar...
Episode 7: What Makes a Great Kiss? And What to Do if You Don’t Like the Way Your Partner Kisses
Thu, 08 Jul 2021
When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss? The sad reality is that most couples just don'...
Episode 6: This Is Why Your partner Won't Work On Your Relationship With You - And How To Finally Get Them To!
Thu, 01 Jul 2021
Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship me...
Episode 5: How to “Let Go” During Sex
Thu, 24 Jun 2021
What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom? People we polled said that body image, kid...
Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship
Thu, 17 Jun 2021
Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship? Do you feel like your partn...
Episode 3: Should Sex Happen Naturally?
Thu, 10 Jun 2021
Should sex happen naturally? This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can caus...
Episode 2: Can You Actually Solve Problems In Your Relationship?
Thu, 10 Jun 2021
Has this phrase ever been uttered in your home: “We’ve talked about this a million times before”...
Episode 1: The Secret To Hot Sex? Talking About It!
Thu, 10 Jun 2021
How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your fac...
Welcome to the Pillow Talks Podcast with Vanessa + Xander
Tue, 25 May 2021
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of...