Pillow Talks

E239: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt. 3)

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Text fights hit different. There’s something about seeing the exact words—line by line, timestamped, impossible to deny—that makes communicat...

E238: Ask a Sex Therapist: Cycle Libido, Rough Sex & How to Sync Up Your O’s

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every week on Instagram we host “Ask Us Anything” question boxes… and every week we’re hit with hundreds of incredible questions we can’t po...

E237: The Real Reason You’re Not Having More Sex

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Having more sex isn’t actually about libido. (We know — that’s what everyone thinks the issue is.) In today’s episode, we’re breaking ...

E236: Sex with Other People…Around: Our Holiday Do’s and Don’ts

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the season of gratitude, family time… and figuring out how to have sex quietly. 😅 This Thanksgiving, we’re throwing it back to one of o...

E235: How Your Phone Is Secretly Sabotaging Your Connection (and what to do about it)

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What if the biggest barrier to intimacy in your relationship isn’t stress, exhaustion, or mismatched libidos… but your phone? In this week’s ep...

E234: Tie Breakers: Passwords, Period Sex, and Passenger Princesses (We’re Settling It Once and for All)

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week we’re bringing back one of our favorite games, Tie-Breakers! You sent in the recurring arguments that pop up again and again in your rela...

E233: Our Most Viral Tips (That Actually Changed People’s Sex Lives)

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you’ve been with us from the start or just found the podcast, this episode is basically a cheat sheet for a better sex life. We pulled to...

E232: Trick or Treat: The Bedroom Edition

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode is a little spooky, a little silly, and a whole lot of sexy. Since Halloween is tomorrow, we’re bringing you a “Trick or ...

E231: When Life Gets Heavy (A Personal Update)

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve always promised to keep things real with you — the good, the messy, and everything in between. And lately… life has been life-ing. I...

E230 How to Actually Enjoy Oral Sex (Without Overthinking It)

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s talk about oral. We’ve all had those moments where oral feels way more awkward than arousing. You’re lying there, overthinking everythi...

E229: Ask A Sex Therapist: Swallowing, Fetishes, + Ex’s

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every week on Instagram, we host “Ask Us Anything” sessions. And honestly? We get way more questions than we could ever answer in stories. So tod...

E228: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt 2.)

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve been there: the dreaded text fight. One message gets misread, emotions spike, and suddenly you’re both typing paragraphs instead of actu...

E227: Initiation: What You’re Getting Wrong And How To Get It Right

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hot take: when you finally get initiation right, your entire sex life opens up. Think about it. No more awkward “was that supposed to be a signal...

E226: Foreplay Frustrations: How to Get More (and Better) Foreplay

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Did you know that 64% of people say they want more foreplay than they currently get? And most people say they wish it was part of every sexual experie...

E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Aging is inevitable. But letting your sex life fade away? Nope. This week, we’re tackling one of our most requested topics ever: sex and aging. We...

E224: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys & Tools

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There is absolutely zero shame in using toys in the bedroom. In fact, they can be a game-changer for pleasure, intimacy, and just plain fun. Whether ...

E223: Sex After Baby: Postpartum Sex, Intimacy & Desire

28 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The postpartum stage can be one of the hardest (and least talked about) seasons a couple will ever go through. Your relationship changes. Your body c...

E222: The AI Girlfriend: How to Protect Your Relationship from Artificial Intimacy

21 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine this: your partner sits you down and says they want to open your marriage… Not for a real-life person. But for their AI companion. Sounds...

E221: How to Explore Your Kinks Without Shame (Cuckolding, Pegging, Breeding, and more)

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding...

E220: A Partner’s Guide To The Female Orgasm

07 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The female orgasm: we’ve talked about it a lot over the years, but it never stops being one of the most requested, most misunderstood, and most fasc...

E219: The Truth About Female Orgasm: Your Q’s Answered!

31 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve probably heard people say, “Oh, you’ll just know.” But what if… you don’t know? 👀 This week, we’re diving deep into one of V...

EPISODE 218 Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It pt. 2

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You thought last week’s icks were bad? Buckle up, friend. Because in Part 2, we’re getting into the next-level icks — the ones that make you ...

EPISODE 217: Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You love your person… but lately… the sound of them chewing is making you cringe. You’ve got the ICK. So what do you do? And what does it act...

EPISODE 216: The Truth About Being Passive In Bed: And How To Take Control

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Does this sound familiar? Your partner asks you to take control in the bedroom… and your brain completely short-circuits. You freeze. You feel aw...

EPISODE 215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Does it ever feel like you and your partner are just never on the same page when it comes to sex? One of you wants it more often. One of you needs th...

EPISODE 214: The Truth About Being Touch-Starved (Even In A Happy Relationship)

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re diving into something that seems simple but holds a lot of power in your relationship: touch. Whether it's a lingering hug, a so...

EPISODE 213: What Do Men REALLY Think About…? Part 3 (Doggy Style, Aging, Leg Hair & More!)

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wanted a peek inside a man’s brain? 🧠 We’re back with Part 3 of one of our most talked-about episode series — answering all ...

EPISODE 212: Why You Flinch When Your Partner Touches You (And How To Fix It) "The Bristle Reaction”

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? It’s a term Vanessa coined—and when we posted about it on TikTok, over 8 million people watched. (You can ...

EPISODE 211: Ask A Sex Therapist: Penis Pumps, Pegging, + Postpartum Sex

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ask a sex therapist is back! Have you ever Googled something about sex and then immediately deleted your search history? 🥵 In this week’s e...

EPISODE 210: How To Know When Enough Is Enough

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Maybe it’s a gross habit that totally kills the mood… Maybe it’s a bigger issue that leaves you feeling unseen or disconnected… This wee...

EPISODE 209: Mental Load: The #1 Desire Killer

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Does sex feel like a chore to you? According to 86% of our audience? Yes. Maybe sex doesn’t feel great. Maybe it it’s more about your partner ...

EPISODE 208: Stuck In A Relationship Rut? Here’s Your 4-Week Fix

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we’re giving you a realistic, 4-week plan to help you and your partner get out of that relationship rut — even if you're super bu...

EPISODE 207 The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ready for our go-to masterclass on one of the most overlooked (but absolutely essential) parts of intimacy? We’re bringing back one of our most dow...

EPISODE 206: Butt Stuff 101: Everything You’re Too Afraid To Ask

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re bringing back a fan favorite this week… and yep, we’re going there. Butt stuff. 🍑 Back in 2021, we dropped an episode all about b...

EPISODE 205: Couples Coaching Session: How To Ask For More Even If You Don’t Know What You Want

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back this week with another coaching episode — where we listen to real voice notes from real listeners who are navigating some seriously rel...

EPISODE 204: Confessions Of An Overactive Bladder

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you’ve ever joked about “peeing just a little” when you sneeze, or you’re the kind of person who always has to know where the bathroom is, ...

EPISODE 203: Is This Cheating? Part 2

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch? What about a flirty Snapchat streak with your ex? A prostate massage with no orgasm? 👀...

EPISODE 202: Am I being defensive, or am I defending myself?

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve all had that moment — your partner brings something up, and suddenly you’re snapping back with a list of everything they did wrong. But wa...

EPISODE 201: Couples Coaching Session: They Love Each Other… So Why Does Their Sex Life Feel Stuck?

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode! Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you know things could be better but have no idea how to...

EPISODE 200: 200 Episodes Later: Let’s Get Personal! (Ask Us Anything)

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉 It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. There’s one thing we know for sure… we couldn’t...

EPISODE 199: Am I The Asshole? Masturbation, Snooping, and Jealousy

13 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the wildest relationship dilemmas, and today’s lineu...

EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. W...

EPISODE 197: Ask A Sex Therapist - Resentment, Sexual Frustration, And The Death Grip

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you guys are THE BEST) that we just can’t get to the...

EPISODE 196: 90 Prompts to Transform Your Sex Life (We Answer Some Live!)

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

🔥 Let’s talk about sex—but let’s make it fun, flirty, and way less awkward. In this episode, we’re telling you about 90 spicy prompts desig...

Episode 195: Giddyup, Cowgirl! Tips, Tricks, & Techniques For Maximum Pleasure

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Cowgirl is one of the most empowering positions in the bedroom—so why do so many of us avoid it? 🤠 If you’ve ever felt awkward, unsure, or just...

Episode 194: What Your Partner Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom Part 2

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered if there’s something you do in the bedroom that your partner secretly (or not-so-secretly) wishes you’d stop doing? Well, y...

Episode 193: The Things We Can’t Say In The Comments

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wonder what we really want to say when someone leaves a spicy comment on one of our social media posts? Well, you’re in for a treat. Social me...

Episode 192: “Is This Normal?” Part 4 — Low Desire Husband, Never Had A Fight, & Baby Talk

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re diving into part 4 of one of our favorite series, “Is This Normal?” We’ll be exploring topics like: Is it normal for my husband to have...

Episode 191: Breaking Free From Purity Culture And Religious Shame

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you were raised in Purity Culture, you already know how challenging it can be to overcome now that you’re an adult. You spent years being taught ...

Episode 190: Am I Being Reasonable Or Ridiculous?

09 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wanted something from your partner, but found yourself wondering, “Am I asking too much?” Or has your partner ever asked you for som...

Episode 189: Can We Have A Fresh Start? Or Is It Too Late?

02 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s officially 2025 and you might be feeling like your relationship could use a fresh start. We asked our Instagram audience if they’ve ever wish...

Episode 188: Is Your Ultimatum Going To Work?

26 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We were feeling inspired… The Ultimatum is back on Netflix, and it was wild. It left us wondering if our own audience has ever given (or been given)...

Episode 187: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition Part 2

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tis the Season for DRAMA! We’re so excited to bring you another hilarious “Am I The Asshole?” episode this week. In the theme of the season, we’...

Episode 186: Period Sex, Internal Vs External Processors, & Queer In A Straight Relationship

12 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There are a ton of topics we want to cover on this podcast, but sometimes we just don’t have enough material to make a full hour-long episode for ea...

Episode 185: How To Navigate Porn In Your Relationship

05 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re tackling one of the trickiest and most controversial topics we get asked about - porn. Is it OK to watch porn even if you’re in a rela...

Episode 184: How To Get More Physical Intimacy From Your Partner

27 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you want more physical intimacy in your relationship? In this episode, we’re talking about different kinds of physical intimacy, why it’s so im...

Episode 183: How To Get More Emotional Intimacy From Your Partner

21 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re covering what emotional intimacy actually is, how to get more ...

Episode 182: “Help! I’m Not Into My Partner’s Fantasy!”

14 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you have a fantasy that your partner is just not into? When your “yum” is their “yuck” if you will. We asked our IG communit...

Episode 181: A Brutally Honest Relationship Check-In

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How are we really doing? We had a plan to talk about a different topic, but once we sat down in front of the mics, we decided to go rogue and talk abo...

Episode 180: Smash Or Pass: We Try The Weirdest Women’s Magazines Sex Tips

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for another edition of one of our most popular series, Smash or Pass! This is where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips, so you ...

Episode 179: All Your Female Orgasm Questions: Answered!

24 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What’s the difference between a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and cervical orgasm? What’s squirting? How common is it for women to orgasm multip...

Episode 178: Tie-Breakers: We Solve Your Relationship Standoffs

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re bringing one of our favorite Instagram games to the podcast, Tie-Breakers! We asked our community to share some of the things that they just c...

Episode 177: Why You Should Try Mutual Masturbation And How To Do It

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Mutual masturbation is one of the sexiest things you can do in the bedroom! But when we asked our audience if they had ever mutually masturbated with ...

Episode 176: Is This Cheating?

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is it cheating to keep nudes from past relationships? Have an Only Fans account? Have a “work wife”? For this episode, we asked our community to ...

Episode 175: “Should I Put Up With This In The Bedroom?”

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is there something your partner does in the bedroom that you’re not sure you should put up with? This episode was inspired by a message we got from...

Episode 174: Ask Us Anything: Addressing All Of Your Assumptions

19 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Does Vanessa wear the pants in the relationship? Are we skipping out on meetings to have sex in the middle of the day? Are we rich?? It’s time for ...

Episode 173: I’m Attracted To Someone Else, What Do I Do?

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relationship? Maybe someone cute you saw at the gym. Or ...

Episode 172: Bring Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom (Without Making It Weird)

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response? It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried a...

Episode 171: Your Funniest Stories About Getting “The Talk”

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…” We’ve all been there at some point in our childhood when someone sat us down and talked to us f...

Episode 170: What Do Women Really Think About ___? Part 2

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with Part 2 of our “What Do Women Really Think About…?” series. We turned to our instagram community again and asked for a new batc...

Episode 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ever had a frustrating situation with a partner that left you wondering, “Is this your problem to fix? Or mine?” Whether it’s disagreeing on pa...

Episode 168: Long Distance? How To Keep The Spark Alive

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Long distance relationships are hard! About 14 million people are in long distance relationships in the US alone, and most of them report struggling t...

Episode 167: Should We Open Our Relationship?

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever considered opening your relationship? Or just ever felt nosy about why other people open theirs? For today’s episode, we asked our In...

Episode 166: How To Create More Privacy For Sex

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Does a lack of privacy get in the way of your sex life? You’re not alone. 62% of our audience say they wish they had more privacy, and 92% of them s...

Episode 165: How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did you know that only 24% of people said they’re happy with the level of vulnerability in their relationship? We asked our community why they strug...

Episode 164: Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Your partner wants you to flirt with them more! But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HOW to flirt. It feels awkward or cheesy... Or we do...

Episode 163: Should We Have A Threesome?

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies, but most of us feel completely clueless about how to actually make them happen! In today’s episode,...

Episode 162: “Is This Normal?” Part 3 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Get ready for the highly anticipated third act to one of our most popular episodes yet - Is This Normal? You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it...

Episode 161: We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re getting ULTRA personal, and answering all your questions about our recent experience in couples therapy. Do we think therapy sometimes d...

Episode 160: These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship? In today’s episode we’re revealing the Four Horsemen. Researcher John Gottman dis...

Episode 159: “Why Do Guys Do This?” - Xander Explains Male Behavior Part 2

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Xander’s back in the hot seat answering all your burning questions about male behavior! Why do guys mansplain? Why do they struggle to find things t...

Episode 158: Maybe It’s Not Low Libido…

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When the spark dies off in a relationship, it’s really easy to blame it on libido. But is libido actually the problem? In this episode, we reveal th...

Episode 157: Come on a Double Date with Us! (“Know Ya Boo” Part 2)

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to our 2nd round of “Know Ya Boo” (bonus points if you get the Parks and Rec reference). Grab your partner, pull up a chair, pour your fav...

Episode 156: What To Do When It’s Been A While… (The Dry Spell Episode)

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do when it’s been a while… When you don’t remember the last time you had sex. When the idea of initiating feels even more awkward th...

Episode 155: Am I The Asshole? In-Laws Edition

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back again with another edition of Am I The Asshole. This time around we’re talking about your trickiest in-law related situations. We’re...

Episode 154: How To Stop Feeling Resentment In Your Relationship

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A few weeks ago we asked our community if they felt resentment in their relationship and only 29% said no! Resentment doesn’t feel good for either ...

Episode 153: The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine this… you’re crawling into bed at the end of the night, thinking, “Hmmm sex sounds nice.” We hate to break it to you, but you’re to...

Episode 152: Breaking Down A Text Fight

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, ...

Episode 151: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot...

Episode 150: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

04 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We really went there…   It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out...

Episode 149: Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“This, uh, isn’t working…” Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused a...

Episode 148: “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.”   Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally una...

Episode 147: Your Sexual Fantasies Revealed

14 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered what everyone secretly fantasizes about? We anonymously polled our audience, and we’re spilling all the secrets today!   W...

Episode 146: Are You Nagging? Or Is Your Partner Being Childish?

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

75% of people say that nagging is an issue in their relationship. So we thought it was time we gave our take on this controversial topic.   We’re...

Episode 145: What Your Partner Secretly Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom?   Well, it turns out there are a few things they secr...

Episode 144: We’re In Couples Therapy

22 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Surprise! We’re in couples therapy.   We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episodes yet all about why we’re in therapy and how it’...

Episode 143: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex

15 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we’re tackling a huge issue that so many people can relate to… feeling uncomfortable in your own skin during sex. We’re diving into the s...

Episode 142: Are You Lazy In Bed? Here’s What Your Partner Says…

08 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex?   In this ...

Episode 141: How To Get Your Partner To Be More Romantic

01 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy at the beginning of a relationship, but feels so m...

Episode 140: What Your Sex Personality Type Says About You In The Bedroom

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ in Myers–Briggs. But do you know your personality...