Xander Marin
speaker
3,285 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2026
last heard 2d ago
Xander Marin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 11 in all, peaking in Sep 2026 with 4.
Appearances
Yeah, so I think that if you are listening to this podcast and you, as of right now in your relationship, are identifying as a higher desire partner, usually, I'm not saying a hundred percent of the time, but usually that person that is a higher desire partner likely has more of a brain first desire type.
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They are a bit more spontaneous when it comes to when the idea of sex sounds.
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Because relative to that, if your partner is a body first desire type, they need to get turned on in their body before the idea of sex sounds good.
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You will often perceive there to be a difference in sex drive, even though we would argue very often there is not actually a difference.
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The real difference is just you have different types and you are approaching them from a spontaneous point of view.
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And from a spontaneous point of view, a body-first desire type is not likely ever going to be turned on in that moment.
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And so I think that.
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the importance of understanding yourself rather than fixating on your partner.
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If you would just be more open when I'm open, if you would just be more spontaneously turned on, it's understanding spontaneous desire is not the only way to feel desire.
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In fact, I would argue that body, body-driven desire is actually a more universal way that we feel turned on.
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Because at the end of the day, if you sit somebody down, some someone that you trust and it's a safe situation, and you start stimulating their genitals.
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They are almost certainly going to get turned on.
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Eventually.
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Right?
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So the re the reality is that we all respond to physical, to body first stimulation.
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And I think that when we are a brain first type, we often forget that.
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We forget that whole I know that the idea it sounds so sexy and enticing to just have my partner come out of nowhere and be like, oh, take me right now.
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But the reality is.
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is if we take five minutes to just get things started in a moment where you weren't otherwise thinking about it, that you would almost certainly start to be turned on.
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And once you're turned on, does it really matter?
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Showing 1061–1080 of 3,285 · page 54 of 165
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