Zac Seidler

Instead of saying maybe there's a thousand words in that single word and the fact that his –

been socialized away from using language to actually describe lots of that and we need to open up those spaces and that's why clinically you know i've had ping pong tables pool tables i play fortnight you know on on xbox with some of my clients because the most beautiful conversations happen when they don't realize that they're that they're in therapy

Many of them leaned into very traditional ideas like breadwinner, protector, provider.

And then there was a very large group who literally said, my dick.

who spoke about their appendage.

And it is very funny and it's also, you know, very telling.

And it's true.

It is, it is.

But if you asked a woman, you know, what it means to be a woman, you're going to get this, and we've seen this, this great depth and variety of answers.

And I actually think that the reason that many men answered with that, not only because it's funny, but because...

those conversations don't take place.

What does it mean to be a man?

What type of guy am I trying to become?

Yeah, yeah.

And I think that the fact that you're going to go to coffee with women, as I tend to do when you're around with four women and they are talking about masculinity in the most...

incredible way, this objective depth that they talk about it and this interest that many women have.

Seemingly, many men, and maybe it is because of this idea of precarity when it comes to manhood.

There's great research about the fact that this idea of how you're going to gain manhood, it's hard won and easily lost.

And so we don't want to point it out.

We don't want to talk about it because it will be taken away from me at some point.