Zerk

Or like, do I even need to do this?

And this thing that in theory was supposed to help you and supposed to be good for you, it ends up just like consuming your life.

It ends up being an escape for a lot of people from that initial problem, which I think that going to the gym is good.

But if you're doing it because somebody told you,

like you are not worthy the way that you are and you're not doing it to better yourself, you will not be able to build it as a consistent habit because it's not about it being fruitful to you.

It's about it being fruitful as a tool for revenge or as leverage against a person that once did you dirty.

At the end of the day, nobody is coming to tell you that your suffering is doing any good.

No matter how many times somebody sympathizes with you, there comes a point where it's just... You're not getting that...

that high of like I'm doing something bad that's not good for my well-being.

And it's kind of cool that I'm doing this.

And it's kind of cool that... I shouldn't be staying up late.

But I am.

I should be working on this project.

But I'm not.

I shouldn't be playing these games... Because I really want to work on this idea.

Or spend time with my loved ones.

But I'm going to.

Because I'm worthless.

You will just continue to create evidence... And little tokens...

That you can feed yourself with.