Zerky
speaker
4,670 appearances
18 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard 24 Feb
Zerky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 8.
Appearances
he asked me, you know, Zerky, I just want you to ask yourself next time you're going to end up in this situation where you are upset, you knew it was a bad idea, and you did it, is that enough? And I was like, well, if it means, you know, having a shawty, I don't think it's enough. We got to keep going. Or do we? Because after that, I had to stop dating for a while.
I had to stop being intimate for a while because a lot of the things that I experienced in that were, they weren't okay. And I felt hurt. And that conversation with my friend really, really hit me. Is that enough? Is this my sign to change? I had no choice. I had to. I was just... I was... I was afraid... Of going back to that. It wasn't even I was afraid. I was just done.
I was done with going into something and entertaining something that just had no structure to it. And I knew that I was being used and we were both using each other. I just didn't... I had such a visceral feeling after that whole thing had ended with this person that I just was like, I never want to do that again. There's no part of me that wants to do that again. Now, have I...
gone back to that in a certain sense? Yes, I think so. I've had other situations where similar things in that situationship were mimicked, right? But the good thing was I knew to catch them sooner because I was like, that was enough. I know how I should be treated. I don't want to be treated like that again. And it was on me.
It was me who had to hold myself accountable in order to make sure that that didn't repeat. And I think we need to ask ourselves this question because there is a romance to getting hurt. There is this kind of struggle that you like to go through that like, I'm in so much pain, but I love this person when really you're just lusting over them. There is that.
I'm not going to sit here and act like it's not one of the craziest feelings in the world. When you are in a toxic situationship, relationship, whatever, friendship, it's kind of like you are fighting for somebody's attention. You are fighting for somebody to like you back. And it's a high that you just... You have to experience it to understand it. And once you do, you realize that it's just...
the after effect the post relationship realizations you have are bad they're they're really they're rough they're really rough because you give up so much of yourself to try to make someone realize that you're special it's not off off the bat it's it's like a i have to earn their trust i have to earn everything and and At some point, I was just like, I've had enough of that.
I've had enough of that. I don't want to have to keep proving that I am a good person in a relationship. I want someone to already like that in me and see that in me. I can't be sitting here and trying to convince the other person that I'm worthy. I can't do that.
And since then, I've found so much solace in just returning that energy that I was just throwing out, trying to find somebody, just putting it on myself. I was like returning the spotlight on myself and being like, well, let me just try for me. Let me just show up for me. Let me low-key date myself. That's so corny, but it's true. It's so true. I feel like
We try to seek out things in other people because they're missing in ourselves. And there's a good chance you're hearing this and you're thinking, dang, yeah, I low-key have been doing that. I have been looking for comfort in other people and validation in other people because I can't validate myself or I don't feel like I have the tools necessary to build myself up.
I think a lot of people get into these kind of patterns of cycling through partners or cycling through friendships and different dynamics because they're just trying to find a reason To believe they're a good person and they're worthy of something. And everyone's worthy of something. Everyone's worthy of love. Everyone's worthy of respect.
Everyone's worthy of being seen as an equal, as somebody that you can appreciate. But that only happens if you do that yourself, if you view yourself that way. Because if you don't... You won't get it from the people that you're seeking it from.
Even if you do find somebody who appreciates you for you, you might not be able to reciprocate that kind of feeling and you won't have a special connection and a special bond. It is such a weird thing.
And at one point, you have to realize how many mistakes, how many partners that were the worst can you go through until you realize, yo, I got to put some accountability on myself and I got to realize that low-key, I'm picking these people. Low-key, I'm putting myself in certain situations that are not good for me.
We like to put so much blame into the ether of the experience that is being young and trying to find somebody, right? And oftentimes we like to, you know, shift the blame on something else. It's like stepping into another portal and being like, I got blown up by a ghast. What? There's a zombie pigman that's going after me. You stepped into the portal. What did you think was going to happen?
You didn't even take the time to get the right tools. You didn't even get diamond armor. You don't have a diamond sword. You don't have a bow and arrow to defeat the ghasts. And you're confused and angry when something happens. I mean, is that enough? Maybe it's not. Maybe you're not ready for that kind of realization. And that's okay. That's fine.
But what's not fine is knowing there's a problem, knowing that there's a solution to it, and avoiding it. and complaining about it. Listen, if you want to avoid it, you don't want to change your ways. There's a certain kind of high you get, right? Certain kind of rush you get from being thrown around and things not working out. That's great. That's fine.
But if you hear that and you're like, I don't want that to be me. Like I've had enough and I do want something better for myself, then you need to catch it. You do. You need to face it like it's any other problem. You have to treat it like it would be your friend coming to you and being like, hey, I have this problem. I need a solution on it.
You have to treat it like it would be one of your best friends coming to you and being like, hey, I'm having this problem. I keep liking people, but the people that I like don't like me back. And they're always using me for something. Okay, well, why are you liking these people? You know, that's what you would tell them. Or you'd be like, you're so much better than that.
Girlie, let me tell you, he doesn't deserve you. Okay. You wouldn't tell yourself the same thing though. And I think that's the disconnect. That's the problem. You have to know when it's enough and it's like, we're done. We're done with this.
Showing 4621–4640 of 4,670 · page 232 of 234
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