Zerky

The more you do something that's bad for you and you know it's not good and it's not moving yourself further in any kind of way, the less motivated you get day to day.

The harder it becomes.

I almost like feel...

so angry at myself that i've been able to get to this point there's this weird thing that happens when you feel like you're productive you feel like you're consistent where it's almost like nothing can can take that away from you but the reality is that it absolutely can be taken away from you if you're not careful

And then it makes me ask the question, okay, well, have I just been, is this who I am?

Is this the person that I'm going to be forever?

Because I won't lie, I'm not proud of myself.

I feel like I'm so behind the ball with all of the things I could be doing, but I think that's also part of the problem.

is that I have unrealistic expectations of what my life should be like at this point in time.

I have unrealistic expectations of, you know, what I should be doing.

But then I also question myself and I ask, where is the line between

I'm still living, I think, my life sometimes for other people.

I still find myself being extremely susceptible to things I see online.

It's really frustrating when you try to build something on your own, but it's almost like you feel like your entire life, your life...

and the way you've lived it has been under a lens of other people.

And I think it's because it has.

Mistakes feel a lot worse nowadays, I think.

Like it really feels like if you make a tiny mistake, the entire world is looking at you laughing and

It's not the case.

And if you don't have the best relationship and, you know, you guys aren't hitting it off in every sector, it means that there's something wrong with you or you are being walked all over or it's the other person or, you know.