are you allowed to feel hopeless?
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What does it mean to feel in a rut?
This is what it looks like to be in a rut. I'm on day four of not doing anything productive. I'm laying in my bed. I have my hair all messed up. And you know what? Today I've decided I'm going to take a little bit of ownership and accountability over the fact that this is entirely my fault and I can get out of it. The thing about being in a rut, which I'm sure you've experienced and you know exactly what I'm talking about when I speak about this, it's that you almost know how you can end it. You almost know the solution to all of your problems. It's just that you have an internal belief that blocks you from doing any of it, right? It almost makes you feel guilty for the fact that you are struggling because you shouldn't be struggling.
How can taking ownership help in overcoming feelings of hopelessness?
It should be really easy to do all of these things. But maybe overloading your entire brain with the fact that you are so terrible and not a good person is not the solution to actually making change. For me personally, I've had such a hard time with... With honestly like looking for cheap stimulus. I am pretty funny. I make my roommates laugh. My roommate Dylan laughs a lot at my jokes. My roommate Caleb as well. And I find that when I know I have to do things, I know I have certain errands to run. I got to go to H-E-B. I got to go to Kroger or whatever. I have to do my taxes. I have to worry about things that are happening in the world that basically make me question why I do what I do. These things, making somebody laugh in the short term
comes off a lot easier. And it's that cheap dopamine that I've become so addicted to and almost this feeling that I can't do anything except for try to look for cheap things.
What are some common beliefs that block personal progress?
And for that, you know, that for you might not be making people laugh. It might be something a little bit more serious. I have my vices too, trust me. But what I do want to say is that The more you do something that's bad for you and you know it's not good and it's not moving yourself further in any kind of way, the less motivated you get day to day. The harder it becomes. I almost like feel... so angry at myself that i've been able to get to this point there's this weird thing that happens when you feel like you're productive you feel like you're consistent where it's almost like nothing can can take that away from you but the reality is that it absolutely can be taken away from you if you're not careful
And then it makes me ask the question, okay, well, have I just been, is this who I am? Is this the person that I'm going to be forever? Because I won't lie, I'm not proud of myself. I feel like I'm so behind the ball with all of the things I could be doing, but I think that's also part of the problem. is that I have unrealistic expectations of what my life should be like at this point in time. I have unrealistic expectations of, you know, what I should be doing. But then I also question myself and I ask, where is the line between I'm still living, I think, my life sometimes for other people. I still find myself being extremely susceptible to things I see online. It's really frustrating when you try to build something on your own, but it's almost like you feel like your entire life, your life...
and the way you've lived it has been under a lens of other people. And I think it's because it has. Mistakes feel a lot worse nowadays, I think. Like it really feels like if you make a tiny mistake, the entire world is looking at you laughing and It's not the case. And if you don't have the best relationship and, you know, you guys aren't hitting it off in every sector, it means that there's something wrong with you or you are being walked all over or it's the other person or, you know. Maybe these things are not easy. And maybe going through a rut isn't a sign of you're weak and you're a loser and you're pathetic because that's kind of how I view it is that like get your stuff together. You need to stop being like pathetic honestly and just go and do it.
But it could also be a sign of you're not doing it right. You're not taking care of yourself in the right way.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What does it mean to feel in a rut?
0:00–0:41
2
How can taking ownership help in overcoming feelings of hopelessness?
0:41–2:00
3
What are some common beliefs that block personal progress?
2:00–7:08
4
How do cheap dopamine fixes affect motivation?
7:08–20:14
5
Why do unrealistic expectations lead to feelings of inadequacy?
20:14–23:07
6
How does external validation impact self-perception?
23:07–23:48