When You Don't Know What You Actually Want: How To Say No, When To Say Yes, and The One Question That Cuts Through It | Yara Shahidi
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Hey gang, welcome to the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Harris. Today, we're doing something unusual and special. We've got a guest whose name is Yara Shahidi. She's known for her roles in such sitcoms as Black-ish and Grown-ish. What makes this unusual and special, however, is that this conversation with Yara is not actually from this podcast, meaning I did not conduct the interview. But it's from another podcast that I recommend you check out called How to Be a Better Human, which is hosted by Chris Duffy. It is not your average self-improvement podcast. It's very similar to this one, in fact, in which they try to infuse more practicality into your journey. of becoming a better version of yourself.
In this episode, we're about to play you. You will hear a conversation between the aforementioned Chris Duffy and Yara Shahidi about what Yara learned from having a very early career start. But there's a lot more, whether it's her view of optimism as a daily practice rather than a personality trait, her year of no that helped her curate a hard yes list, or her intention to pursue being bad at things on purpose. She provides practical tips for how to find more purpose in your life. Enjoy this episode. If you like what you hear, share it with a friend, and you can find How to Be a Better Human wherever you get your podcasts.
This is How to Be a Better Human. I'm your host, Chris Duffy. This month on our podcast, we are re-examining our relationship to work. We started with psychologist Guy Winch's new book, Mind Over Grind, and we talked about how to prevent burnout and make space for life outside of your job. And then we had financial journalist Matt Levine explain the economy and money stuff to us. But this week we are tackling, to me, the biggest question around work, which is what do you want to do? Figuring out what you want to do is in many ways figuring out who you want to be. What do you want to contribute to the world? What do you want to learn? Who do you want to be surrounded by? What do you believe in? I am quite frankly overwhelmed just saying those questions out loud.
I'm not even trying to answer them. But today's guest, Yara Shahidi, is remarkably clear-eyed about tackling life's biggest questions head on. You might know Yara from her award-winning work on the TV shows Black-ish and Grown-ish, but she's also a producer, the host of the Optimist Project podcast, and a Harvard graduate. In other words, Yara has succeeded at the very highest levels across a variety of fields. While I'm getting winded just thinking about my future, Yara is sprinting across the finish line and then circling back to design an entirely new race course. But Yara has incredibly practical, inspiring advice for everyone, even me. So today we are talking to Yara about how to understand yourself, how to understand your goals and what you want to say yes to.
To get us started, here is a clip from Yara's TED Talk.
My grampy and I would reimagine and act out the entire saga of the Odyssey with my Polly Pocket dolls, as one does at the age of four. And around the age of five, I asked for every religious book. I mean, every religious book. Fast-forwarding to 13, I read my first short story from the formidable James Baldwin, and my life was forever changed. Needless to say, I was grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that honored my interests. But as I got older, I began to get confronted by a big question. Are you sure about that? Now, this was a question I really could not escape in August of 2018, right as I was embarking on my next adventure. I was beginning my freshman year at Harvard right as my television show, Grown-ish, began filming season two.
and I was at a crossroads. Because acting, for me, has been more than a career. It's given me permission to explore my fantasies. I feel like I gain another level of empathy every time I step into a different character's shoes. But my education has been equally as pivotal. because my education has fulfilled my endless desire to know, to know places, to know the events that have shaped us, the communities that have built us, the obstacles that have tried to stop us, the mistakes that haunt us, but selfishly, to know about myself and my place in the world.
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Chapters
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