How ridiculous!

Beginners. Have you ever been told something by a person of authority that made no sense at all? Or, have you ever been in a situation that made you wonder if someone was playing a joke on you? A few occasions spring to mind when I think of that question. The other day, my mother had her U.S citizenship interview. There were many questions to answer, and thankfully, the lady interviewing her was friendly. She tested her English, her knowledge of U.S. history, and she also looked at all the papers my mother had filled in. Then came the character history questions: "Have you ever overthrown a government?" the lady asked. My mother was shocked and amused at the same time. "Sweetheart, I'm sixty-five years old. Do I look like I've overthrown a government?" she replied. No, she doesn't look like she has overthrown a government, and I'm sure if she had, someone would have heard about it. The interviewer looked at her appologetically, and continued with other, similar questions: "Have you ever been a drug traffiker? An arms dealer? A member of the Communist party?" Of course my mother answered "no" to all of the questions, but she couldn't help but laugh. The poor lady was just doing her job, but what a ridiculous one! Grammar notes. Verbs: Have you ever......? (very useful). To play a joke on someone. Exs: Have you ever been to Miami? Has he ever paid for anything? Has it ever rained in the Sahara? Have we ever given her a reason to dislike us? My brother always played jokes on me when we were growing up. He was offended; they had played a joke on him. Important vocabulary: authority, something springs to mind, to overthrow, a dealer. Advanced. When I left New Zealand to come home, I had to catch a connecting flight in Brisbane, Australia. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait at the gate very long. After a while, one of the airport security guards announced to the group of us who were waiting, "Could you all move back behind the security screen, as we are going to run an extra security check of the plane before you board." We all did so, only a few people complaining. Then came the time to move back to the gate. As we did, they checked our carry-on luggage. I only had one bag: just a weeks worth of clothes, and presents for the family. "What's this?" asked the man as he unzipped my bag. "It's a candy snake; you know, a chewy one," I replied pointing to three others and a tarantula that I had bought for my children. "You can't take these on the plane. New regulation: nothing that seems threatening to anyone." "Are you serious?" I asked with a smile. "But it's obviously candy." "Yes, I know Miss, but someone on the plane might not think so." "Well, what about the tarantula? I think that's more scary." "New rules, I'm afraid. You can only take them if you bite their heads off?" "You've got to be joking! My kids wouldn't eat them if I did that. Anyway, I bought them here in the airport," I said, seeing no sense in the situation. One of the guards went back with me to the shop where I had bought the candy and appologetically spoke with the shop owner. I traded the snakes for tarantulas and went back to the gate. As I arrived, one of the other guards informed me that because I had bought them in the airport, I could take them with me. So, I went back to the same shop and exchanged my tarantulas for snakes. What a performance. I appreciate people following rules and keeping us safe, but that was ridiculous! Grammar notes. Important vocabulary: security guards, a connecting flight, a weeks worth of ..., to unzip, a regulation, appologetically, a performance. Exs: The security guards checked the plane before we took the connecting flight. I have a week's/ month's/ year's worth of bills to pay. It's a new regulation that everyone must unzip the bags. The man appologetically cleaned up the soup he had dropped. The dinner was a disaster. The food was burnt, I had a headache, and the guests got lost and never turned up! What a performance!

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