While playful putdowns and throwing shade have long been a celebrated form of humor and bonding among gay men, they can sometimes perpetuate cliques, exclusion, and toxic behaviors within the community. Not only does this behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes like the "bitchy queen" or "mean gay," but it also deepens divisions in an already marginalized community, reflecting the way we are often treated by the larger world.In this episode, we're exploring why mean gay behavior manifests, the impact it has on our community, and ways we can foster kindness and support among one another.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 34. GBF: Gay Best FriendListen to Episode 38. Learning to Accept KindnessListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other GaysAdditional Resources:The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community Is So Competitive10 Reasons Gay Men Are Hyper CompetitiveOp-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?Ask a Homo: Bitchy QueensWhen Does a Bitchy Queen Become Too Much?Gays Behaving BadlyCulture Slut: Dissecting the 'Mean Gays' TropeMatthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"Support the showGet Your Merch

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.