AEE 2650: How to Give a Hard No Plus Cultural Tips
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What is this episode about and how is the Active Vocabulary course introduced?
This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2650. How to give a hard no, plus cultural tips.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. Is it normal to give a hard no in your culture? What about in business? Today, find out how common it is in American culture and learn four ways to do it in English. Have you ever been in an English conversation where you understood everything, but when it was your turn to speak, the words disappeared?
You've learned more sophisticated phrases, but in the moment you fall back on simple, safe words. That's exactly why we created our brand new online course, Active Vocabulary. This course helps you move your vocabulary from passive recognition to active use. So the words are there when you need them in those important moments of your life. Plus, when you become a student, you get invited to the weekly open conversation club to practice your speaking live. Save up to $100, but the offer ends on Sunday. Go now to allearsenglish.com slash vocabulary to get the special deal. That's allearsenglish.com slash V-O-C-A-B-U-L-A-R-Y. Hey there, Michelle. How's it going today? Hey, Lindsay. I'm doing well. How are you?
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. I am excited to ask you a question.
Okay.
And I am excited to hear the question and to answer it. All right. Here's the question. Do you ever hesitate to tell someone no when they ask you for something or when they ask you something? Do you hesitate to say no?
Yeah. I mean, of course. You know, you want to... I think we all in some way want to make people happy and we want to be able to say yes to things, right? But sometimes we just can't or sometimes it's our opinion and we're just being very direct.
How about you, Lindsay? Yeah. Yeah, of course. I think you're right. What you said, we all as human beings, the brain is wired for connection. We know this, evolutionarily speaking. And so we want, there's, even if you're not a people pleaser, quote unquote, there's some level of all of us that kind of wants that togetherness, that agreement. It feels good to agree and to be on the same page with someone. Like biologically, it feels good, you know? Yeah.
So, but sometimes we have to say no. So today we're going to talk about some ways that describe a clear, quick no. Um, and, um, a while ago we did an episode with a similar concept, but it was on business English. Um, so that's, that's our, another show that we have guys. So go on over, you can put in business English podcast to wherever you are listening and hit the follow button later. I'll give you that episode number if you're curious, uh, to hear that one as well.
Yes, yes, exactly. And as Michelle said, make sure you hit follow, hit follow over on business and hit follow over here on All Ears English. All right. That's right. So again, it is important to be able to express no in some way, right? And to express that there's no wiggle room. What does the expression wiggle room mean, Michelle?
No flexibility, right? We're stuck in this place. We can't move around.
Right. So what are some ways that we express this? If there's no wiggle room, we can't wiggle.
We can't wiggle to a yes or a maybe. So the first one is a flat out no.
Yeah.
How do the hosts frame the problem of hesitating to say no in conversations?
So for example, I asked my friend if she could help me more, but she gave me a flat out no. She is super busy with work.
or are you still considering taking time off to join me on the trip or is it a flat out no so i'm just saying is it there there's no way you're not you're not thinking about it anymore um and yeah i think it's interesting how we use it here so is it a flat out no it's like yeah yeah yeah
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is this episode about and how is the Active Vocabulary course introduced?
0:00–4:29
2
How do the hosts frame the problem of hesitating to say no in conversations?
4:29–12:09
3
What does ‘no wiggle room’ mean and when do we need a clear no?
12:09–13:36
4
How is a ‘flat out no’ used in everyday English?
13:36–16:22
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from All Ears English Podcast
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AEE: Socializing in English Part 3 - The Art of the Compliment
AEE 2687: Learn English Anywhere, Anytime, With Anyone