All-In with Chamath, Jason, Sacks & Friedberg
All-In x Kill Tony: A Hilarious Holiday Special
24 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What makes this holiday special with Tony Hinchcliffe?
Honestly, I think this is like the most fun Christmas party we've had. Ever. Ever. And probably the most fun event we've ever had is because of Tony here. Please welcome the one, the only, Tony Hinchcliffe.
What the fuck's up, you goddamn nerds?
Tony, any chance we could play Kill Tony tonight?
You guys want to play Kill Tony here? Yeah! Are you guys prepared for this? You know how it works? We know how it works. I don't know if we're prepared. I wasn't expecting to have to do this tonight, but I think I just found a new golden ticket winner.
Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for your besties.
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Chapter 2: How did Tony Hinchcliffe achieve success with Kill Tony?
We'll welcome everybody to the second annual All In Holiday Party. Yes, thank you for coming. This is gonna be an incredible lineup. We've got, God, so many great moments for you tonight. Unfortunately, unfortunately Chamath couldn't make it tonight. I know, I know, it's hard, it's hard. But we have a pretty great replacement that you're gonna love. And yeah, Freiburg, tell them what's coming.
Hold on, let me get my script.
Wow, so professional. Do the sponsor shout out.
Oh yeah, let me do the sponsor shout out so you don't do it and we lose them. I would like to thank Google Cloud for their incredible servers. Yes, thank you, Google Cloud. Circle for stablecoins. OKEx, thanks for all the love. Grok, SonicFlights. Iren has got an incredible lounge. Thanks again for all of our sponsors. Give them a big round of applause. We're going to have a great night.
Chapter 3: What hilarious moments occurred during the Kill Tony game?
Man, the casino, everything is here.
Tonight we are gonna have the legendary Bestie Awards. We have some roasting, and we are all gonna play Kill Tony. What? We're gonna play Kill Tony? We are gonna play Kill Tony. Oh, thanks for letting me know. How many here are big fans of Kill Tony?
That's incredible. Well, then, let's just bring out the one... Chamath's replacement. Chamath's permanent replacement on the program. The three of us voted him off the island. Please welcome the one, the only, Tony Hinchcliffe.
Yeah!
Chapter 4: What are the highlights of the 2025 Bestie Awards?
Oh, my God. Look at this. Star power. Fuck yeah. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.
What the fuck's up, you goddamn nerds? How about a hand for the all-in podcast Christmas party? We're here in San Francisco. Make some noise. Do you guys live here in San Francisco? What a shithole. It's actually worse than a shithole. You could actually use a shithole here to put the shit into that's on the streets. A shithole would be an actual upgrade. It used to be so beautiful here.
You guys remember? Remember the intro to Full House? That house is still full because 23 Somalians live in it now. Put your phones away, you assholes. You can watch this on video form later, you fucking dorks. Everybody wants their own exclusive. I'm gonna make it tonight. My YouTube channel's gonna get extra hits. California, more homeless people than any other state.
People are struggling, and you assholes paid 500 bucks to watch billionaires talk to each other. God bless America. Look, billionaires don't have it easy. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a billionaire to pretend like they like their kids? I had to research these guys, and it was the most exhausting thing I've ever done.
Chapter 5: How do the hosts reflect on the current state of comedy?
Absolute dorks. But then I watched Mountainhead on the plane, and then Big Bang Theory, and Succession, and then Brokeback Mountain. And I think I figured it out. As many of you know, these gentlemen started the All In podcast at the beginning of the COVID pandemic. It saw massive success very quickly, which makes sense. People were isolated and looking for relatable content.
And what's more relatable than four venture capitalists playing high-stakes poker? Their combined net worth of the four hosts is over $3 billion. You guys realize you don't have to do a podcast, right? J. Cal does.
Chapter 6: What insights are shared about free speech in Europe?
Whenever anyone is asked what they would do if they had a billion dollars, I've never heard the answer, attend weekly Zoom calls. I do love the current landscape of podcasts, though. Like, how is my show even considered on the same playing field as what you guys do? It's crazy, right?
You can listen to four experts educated on economics and technology, and within seconds you can switch over to my show and listen to an Elon Musk impersonator roasting an aspiring comedian with cerebral palsy. These guys are all actual friends with Elon Musk. They told me that backstage, and then they told me their names.
Our friend Elon, of course, got some criticism from the left at the beginning of this year when he was accused of doing a Nazi salute. He said he didn't do a Nazi salute, but that it was a Roman salute. He could have just said it was an awkward wave, and people would have accepted that. I don't know if Roman salute is the best alternative.
He went with, behind the Nazis, the group who has killed the most Jews, including Jesus himself. That's like being accused of visiting Epstein's Island and having an alibi that you were touring Thailand with Bill Gates. Yeah. Can you guys tell Elon to use his rockets for something positive like immigration?
Do you have any idea how fast you can get illegal immigrants back to where they came from on a fucking rocket? I looked into this. It's 26 seconds from here to Tijuana, Mexico. It's simple. You take the rocket, you fill it with illegal immigrants, you blast that bitch up in the air, right?
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts view the future of content creation?
You let Elon do his fancy little parallel parking thing that he likes to do. You empty the illegal immigrants, you fill it with avocados. Yes. No tariffs on these avocados. These are the ideas. There are some critics on the left that say the hosts of All In are all too conservative, calling it an echo chamber. An echo chamber is also how Marjorie Taylor Greene's ex-husband refers to her pussy.
We may have to edit that one out. Immigrant jokes are okay, but big pussy jokes aren't? What kind of party are you running here? But seriously, it is an honor to be here at the Christmas party. Remember, everyone, Santa is watching to see who's naughty or nice. And you don't want to end up on his naughty list. Then again, that would be the second worst list J-Cal ended up on. J-Cal.
His net worth is $60 million, so on this podcast, he's known as the broke-ass bitch. He was an early investor in Uber, and out of everyone up here, he's the closest one to having to be one of the drivers.
Yeah. Oh.
He refers to himself as the greatest podcast moderator in the world.
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Chapter 8: What are the final thoughts shared during this holiday gathering?
The people cheering are the people that have not seen my show. If you get to call yourself the greatest podcast moderator in the world, then I get to say that I'm a virtue signaling angel investor liberal cuck. That's what you are. I get it. I get the joke. Fun fact, Candace Owens thinks that the leader of France's wife has a bigger dick than J-Cal.
Ooh, fuck.
His angel-less flex is the startup equivalent of that guy who won't stop talking about his high school football championship. Oh, okay, lost you on the angel investor joke. All right, that's surprising. Puerto Rico, very good, sir. Thank you. We're trying to forget about that. J. Cal and I don't have much in common. I'm a centrist, slightly right-leaning person, and he's a full-on liberal.
The only thing we have in common is that liberals don't like us. Chamath couldn't make it, which is completely disappointing, and I'm still, if it's all right with you guys, I'm gonna do my Chamath jokes. I might do a couple extra ones that I thought were too mean. Now that he's not here, I had to show up for this thing. He works hard. $1.5 billion. He works hard 24-7-11.
Wow.
He bought into the Golden State Warriors because he heard they had curry over there.
Yes! Yes! How?
These nerds like sports jokes more than angel investor jokes. This doesn't even make any sense. He's got vindaloot. Indian food jokes, anyone? He's got a lot of bread. It's a non-issue. Okay. There you go. He's the best poker player out of the bunch. He has the most patience because he looks like a doctor. Somebody told me that Chamath has a very hot wife. I wonder what she sees in him.
Perhaps the hairy feet. All right. Okie dokie. Chamath, at one point, was a senior executive at Facebook, where he spearheaded several projects like Facebook Phone, Facebook Home, and Facebook Beacon. If none of those ring a bell, it's because they were all completely scrapped by Facebook. Hell of a resume. Chamath, did you also pitch the logo ideas to Cracker Barrel?
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