Chapter 1: What are the highlights from last week's episode?
Trendsetters! It's almost here. AlphaFest, May 30. Don't miss out. Get on to MoshTix and grab yourself a ticket before they sell out. Patreon has been pumping. Moochinator3053 hasn't slept in three weeks. He hates sleep. But you know who we don't hate, Tom, and that's our sponsors. That's right, Pooh. Let's give them a pump up. Better Beer, the official beer of the Alpha Blokes podcast.
Get around it. CTC, keep your dome out of the sun with one of the many great country trucking caps. SP Tools, they've got you covered, whether it's on the worksite or in the shed.
Chapter 2: What lessons can we learn from Uncle Poo on agriculture?
Papa Macro's healthy eating made easy. Port West workwear that is built to last, just like this community. And last but not least, Ned's. The only bookie that we have a punt with here at Alpha Blokes. Stay Ned-ly.
I just want to say from the bottom of me heart, I'd like to take this chance to apologise to absolutely nobody. The double champ does what the fuck he wants. Safety first, stay focused. Keep pinging the cup.
Trendsetters, welcome back to another episode of the Alpha Blokes Podcast. We are here to give the everyday battler a voice and delete head noise one laugh at a time. If you're having a beer, make it a better beer, jog in a can, a win in a tin, the athlete's choice, even class in a glass. Oh, do you reckon that threw them, Poop? That threw them.
Do you reckon they were going, oh, wow, what's going on?
Chapter 3: What is the wildest 'getting caught' story shared in this episode?
The world's ending. What's happening? We like to keep yous on your toes on Thursdays. Quinn might do it next week, because it's Trendsetter Thursday. That's what it is today. Trendsetter Thursday. Can you do it, Quinn? Yeah, I can do it. Give us your best crack from you doing me and Tom's part. Oh! This is your audition. Welcome back to another episode of the Alpha Bugs podcast.
We are here to... Fucker, fucker.
Ah!
See, it's not that easy, is it? It's not that easy, Quinn. It's so hard. It's hard, boys. It's hard. Yeah, CTC, we love them. Oh, we do. We love them. And Knuckles, we love him too. He's a great guy.
He is. I've always said that too.
Yeah, I've always said it as well. Such a great guy. Go to thecountrycompanies.com to cop one of the Knuckles hats. Countrytruckercaps.com is where you go to design your own.
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Chapter 4: How does the Alpha Blokes community stay connected?
Anything. You can design anything you want on there. You can put whatever you want on a hat pretty well. Yeah, and I've seen that he's starting to get rid of the buttons, you know, on top. It used to be a thing that hats had to have buttons. You don't need them on there anymore. Headphones.
Oh, great for headphones.
You bump your head on something, that button doesn't drive through. The old headache button. Yeah, no headaches anymore with the knuckler. Use the code Alpha, yeah, Alphabucks, if you don't want to pay a full price. Yeah, you can have a discount. If you want. You don't have to. Don't have to, yeah. Are you allergic to saving money? Guess. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'll smell what you're stepping in, Quinn. All right. Ready?
Yeah.
Pressure off the press this morning.
Oh, here we go. Strap it, it's time again for Knuckles' proper true yarn.
Legends. Just Knuckles here calling his proper true yarn of the week out. Hope he's bounced back okay from the fucking weekend.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the upcoming Alpha Fest event?
Still going, still a fair bit on for me. Anyway, fellas, I was seeing you on television the other day. Television? When Trump went to fucking China, the old Chinese president, he held his hand... Like, they shook hands and he held his hand a bit longer. Like, he was staunching the cunt. You know? He did the same thing for, like, for the king, King Charles. Like, how do you feel about that?
You know, like some cunt overholding, you know, the handshake to just try to staunch you, you know? You know? Have you ever done that thing, too, where... You get your middle finger, your root finger, then you tickle the inside of the hand, you know, during mid-handshake.
Would you not be tempted just to give the cunt one of them little tickles and go, just to fucking, you know, maybe round them eyes of the fucking Prime Minister out or what, you know? How would you feel about, you know, you're a global leader, Borrowdale. You fly into the country, I was just talking to you like that. What would you do? Righto, boys, love yous.
Yeah. There is a few guys like that who try and staunch one. We used to have this supervisor, not going to say where, but apprenticeship. And he was well known. He was nicknamed Tarzan because he always used to really go hard on the handshake. So it was a thing for all the apprentices. You had to try and, you know, meet him in the middle sort of thing. Yeah. And, yeah, don't be that guy.
Like I was in a nice firm handshake. Too bad if Trump was just starstruck. Maybe. Because it's happened to you, hasn't it?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the recent merch drop?
Yeah, that was embarrassing. You held on for a bit long. I just didn't let go. And then I watched the video back and old mate's trying to have a conversation with someone else and I'm still holding his hand. Oh, yeah, that was great. And I confessed me love. I don't know why I said I love you. Anyway.
Yeah, I think the best one to do if you want to fuck with them is to tuck your thumb in and just go straight through. I've never heard of that. What do you mean? Here, well, let's go here. So you go in to have a handshake, and then your hand slips through theirs and they grab your wrist. Yeah, it's good. Have you had anyone proper, like, big dog you? Yeah. Yeah, how did you handle it?
Oh, you just handle it? Yeah. You know, being the little dog, it's pretty standard for me. Oh, righto, mate. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, Trendsetter Thursday, mate. Look, thanks so much for getting around the winter drop, Trendsetters. Holy demon. You've absolutely smashed the hoodies. I think there's still a couple of beanies available, but, yeah, hoodies got pumped. We did warn them, Pooh. They're back to melting websites again.
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Chapter 7: What funny anecdotes are shared about past experiences?
Yeah, they are. Now, I've got a statement from Mrs. Dahl. She said, the hoodie sold out quick, fast, and the long and short of it was the website didn't handle the speed provided by Shopify. This is from them. If multiple orders come in simultaneously, e.g.
during a drop or promo, Shopify can process them faster than the inventory levels update, resulting in more units sold than there were available. It would seem that as people were trying to add their chosen sizes to cart, they were selling out and the cart would default to a different size. Mrs. Dahl is not happy about that. Mrs. Dahl is putting in a complaint.
Mrs. Dahl believes if the size sells out, it should be removed from cart, not just changed to a different size. I do keep reserves, but not a large enough amount when Shopify drops the ball so significantly. If your order confirmation does not have the correct size on it, there's a good chance it's because we sold out.
Please send an email to orders at alphablokes.com.au so I can refund your order or maybe work some magic if the stars align. These issues, though incredibly frustrating, were out of my control, so please keep this in mind. If it turns out you cannot get the size hoodie you're after, be kind and stay out of yourself. So, yeah, it just got absolutely hammered by trendsetters.
Naughty, naughty little trendies. We love you. Thank you very much, guys. And, look, we're super confident in this product too. It's great. Great. The hoodies are great. And we knew that they would sell out. That's why we said be there at 6 if you don't want to miss out. Well, a little filthy wolf. Yeah, a little filth. Cheeky little bugger he is. He is a cheeky little bugger.
But, yeah, I think we'll be doing a bit more with that design, I have a feeling.
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Chapter 8: What advice do the hosts give about navigating social situations?
I'd like to.
We like that design. Yeah. But winter, the hoodies have never been something that we keep in stock all the time. They've always been a one-off thing that we change every year.
Well, they're seasonal, right?
Yeah, that's right, mate.
You can wear a shirt all year round. Not a hoodie.
No. Well, you could. It'd be hot, though. Yeah, in some places you could wear one, bro. Yeah, Tasmania? Yeah, that's one. I wonder how many hoodies went to Tasmania. I don't know, maybe a few. But anyway, thank you very much, guys. The team are literally down there now, you know, yesterday as you're listening, hooking in to packing all of those.
They'll be out this week and, yeah, should be with you very soon. And that's up to Oz Post. Once we give it to them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We fucking love yous. Thank you very much for your support. We love love. We do. Big squirt and turd and leak and fart and love doctor and magic. That's what they call it. Jeez, is that the longest episode title of all time across any episode? I wouldn't say across all episodes. It's got to be up there. It's a long one, Pooh.
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