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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh

A Very Flagrant Christmas

18 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 13.061 Unknown

Who took a bite out of your lip, bro? What is that? Son, I can't even defend it. It's like, I might as well just be like, I got herpes, because if I describe it, you're not going to believe me, so. Okay, yeah, tell your lie. Yeah, I know. That's a good way to position it.

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Chapter 2: What are the worst Christmas movies mentioned?

13.341 - 20.998 Unknown

I don't know how to tell you. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. How do I even get out of this?

0

Chapter 3: How does laughter gas singing come into play?

21.058 - 28.61 Unknown

I thought it was going to heal. I was putting fucking ointments on that shit for the last two days. Like, yo, please, God, let this shit be healed by flagrant.

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28.79 - 30.954 Andrew Schulz

No, nothing. Your girl's giving you shit. She's like, put this on.

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30.974 - 41.172 Unknown

It'll fix it. I was on stage last night looking at the whole front row like, please, Lord, don't let him spit on me with that fucking herpes on his face. Yeah. So anyway, so yeah, that's what it is.

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Chapter 4: What happens during the Flagrant Studio Romance discussion?

41.192 - 43.535 Andrew Schulz

His story was that he peeled off like a little piece of skin.

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44.317 - 47.522 Unknown

My lips were dry and cracked and I had peeled a little piece of skin off.

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47.542 - 49.765 Alex Media

Oh, you asked him about the hurt, bro.

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49.785 - 53.631 Unknown

Yesterday was way worse. It looked crazy yesterday. He's projecting, bro, because he's ashy.

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53.751 - 54.412 Alex Media

I know, I know.

54.432 - 60.702 Unknown

Because he's an ashy little YW. I am an ashy. Dude, look at that. He's an ashy little YW.

60.802 - 61.864 Alex Media

Look how ashy I am.

61.944 - 63.607 Unknown

No, he's trying to show off his calf. Come on.

63.747 - 64.889 Alex Media

Look at that. You can't tell.

Chapter 5: What challenges does Andrew face with his lip?

2762.575 - 2773.914 Alex Media

No, I'm saying, like, if you rape a male, then you only stop male rape. No, no, no. It would stop all... Hold on.

0

2773.934 - 2776.377 Unknown

That's what I'm saying. We have to break it down.

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Chapter 6: What are the most overrated Christmas movies?

2776.397 - 2777.759 Akash Singh

No, no, no. We got to break it down.

0

2777.779 - 2789.094 Unknown

You're thinking about this really smart. Fuck you. So, no, no. You're right. You're right. It just stops all... You could rape a guy, but it would stop all rape, male and female. Okay. We're going to get dinged.

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2792.519 - 2796.424 Alex Media

No, I'm still going to murder. I was just asking. Who are you asking for?

0

2802.682 - 2806.269 Unknown

Why are we asking? What was the curiosity about? This is a fun game.

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2806.349 - 2810.196 Alex Media

In general. Just asking a question. I can't ask questions.

2810.216 - 2835.79 Unknown

Because you definitely would never do it to a woman. We know that. Yes. None of us here would ever do it to a woman. I would not f*** anybody. No, you can't do it. Definitely wouldn't do it to a woman. You can't. But you could maybe do it to somebody and then protect all women. That's how you got that? This was consensual. That was a good chat. I'm just saying. You could rip a terrorist.

2836.512 - 2843.61 Unknown

Oh, it's not bad. It's not bad. And then you can protect women in perpetuity. You wouldn't do that to protect women? Nah, I'm sorry.

2844.471 - 2855.323 Alex Media

Really? Yeah. Some grapes have to happen. I'm sorry. Whoa! Hey! That is what this game is, right? Why, would you do it? So we can't just say what's... Would you do it?

2855.604 - 2862.772 Unknown

Yeah. You would do that to a terrorist? To a terrorist? Yeah. I would. Not even a question. Not even a question. To protect all of humanity?

Chapter 7: What are the highlights of the Flagrant Christmas Quiz?

2862.972 - 2866.737 Unknown

Yeah. No grape again? No grape again. Y'all are selfish, yo.

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2867.017 - 2868.659 Alex Media

No grape again. That's a bad person.

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2868.679 - 2869.56 Unknown

Murder's worse.

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2871.025 - 2874.153 Alex Media

What do you mean? Like, murder is a worse crime. No.

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2874.353 - 2877.38 Unknown

Than, like, a child? No, grape is worse.

2877.761 - 2878.122 Alex Media

Yeah.

2878.463 - 2882.292 Unknown

I think murder's worse. This is why your moral compass is crazy to me.

2883.134 - 2887.144 Alex Media

It's crazy. But you can just go to some therapy and then you're good at therapy.

2887.124 - 2894.932 Unknown

Don't try to black out therapy to save yourself. You could, though. He does do that when he gets in trouble, right?

Chapter 8: What are the hopes for 2026 discussed in the episode?

2894.952 - 2902.18 Unknown

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throws out the N-word, therapy. No, but you could. Who the fuck said therapy? You could go to therapy, though.

0

2902.28 - 2903.762 Alex Media

You could go to therapy.

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2903.782 - 2905.443 Unknown

Therapy, all right?

0

2905.464 - 2910.569 Alex Media

Nah, bro. Come on, baby. Your life is still going on. Like, you take somebody's life, it's over. That's fucked up. That's worse.

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2910.609 - 2918.396 Unknown

You wouldn't murder a terrorist? This is supposed to be Christmas. That's a good point.

2918.416 - 2921.304 Alex Media

That's a good point, dude. Steve, why are you doing these fucked up hypotheticals, bro?

2921.344 - 2944.534 Unknown

We're just on the topic. I suggested that one. I'm Greg Bateras, no question. Can we say essay or something? Yo, essay. I thought we could say grape and then we good. Hey, knowing the good I'm doing for humanity, my dick will get so hard, son. I am. Really? Come on. Really? Blurping. Yeah, dude. Come on. That's what I'm talking about. You don't have to do this. You can just do tax fraud.

2944.895 - 2963.081 Unknown

Well, who cares about tax fraud? You piece of shit. You stop all the tax fraud. Oh, wow. But who's that helping? The economy, bro. All these people are robbing us from the tax and shit. Oh, the economy. Shut the fuck up, you white fucks. That's the whitest answer I've ever heard in my life. Fine, I'll up it. Perjury. Okay, I'll commit perjury. You'll commit perjury. Yes.

2963.581 - 2980.564 Unknown

I'll get a speeding ticket. I'll go in and be like, I wasn't speeding. And then there's no more lying in court. No more lying in court ever. Interesting. That's interesting. That's a decent answer. See, there you go. Yeah, you found a way to be a pussy in a smart way. Yeah, exactly. Fine, genocide. All right, G. Is that what you guys want? All right. You would do that to terrorists?

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