Whats up people, we've got The Machine in the building, Bert Kreischer. Schulz reached out to his 2 bears, 1 cave co-host Tom Segura to get some info on some of Berts fears... turns out he hates clowns and balloons. We DID NOT expect it to end up like this. INDULGE! 00:00 START 01:27 Rolex boys 04:59 WHO Picked berts movie wife? + kissing a new woman 08:42 Why Bert won't cheat + Bert loves to EAT 12:46 Being honest + earning the ability to talk about yourself 15:30 Tosh is the greatest + colluding in poker 20:48 Bert's comedy style + having unbelievable conviction 30:26 Patrice O'Neal story + insight into their lives 32:07 Birth of "The Machine" + being protective about personal life 37:39 Bert LOVES Segura even if Bert gets hurt 41:54 Music industry infiltrated Comedy + wanting to make Comedy 45:58 Stand up clips are gonna end comedy but it WORKS 51:15 Body counts really do count 59:57 Segura sends his regards + "you can't trust them" 01:03:53 Flagrant unspiked Bert's beer 01:04:57 "I can smell them" - Balloon PTSD 01:09:18 Ari is more trustworthy than Flagrant + can't trust Clowns 01:15:04 Bert is terrified of flying + blimp panic attack 01:18:02 Industrial Clown Complex is done 01:19:17 Deaths, Phobias, panic attacks & spelunking 01:39:49 Travel show - cave diving or wingsuiting will be your funeral 01:45:04 Bert is relentless + failure was ultimate blessing 01:54:26 Early Rogan appearances - impacted EVERYTHING 02:04:22 Comics used to hate each other 02:06:41 Blessed to have lived the best life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.