Show notes
Can I Tell You A Story? Once Upon A Time I think everyone loves a story and over the month I hope to sprinkle a few stories, metaphors, I've borrowed, I've evolved, and even some of my own. Why? I just love them and the effect they have had on me and my life. It seems just when you need to learn something in a subtle and gentle way the right story comes along. And I really wanted to share them with you - it's as simple as that because I know every story will affect you, maybe just a little or maybe profoundly like it did to me. Somewhere along the way, each will have a positive effect on us. I say us because even retelling these has an effect on me again - which is awesome! This first sharing is a true story of mine with a story shared to me by Norma and Phil Barretta and as I have said affected me then, some 19 years ago and every time I tell it. I hope you get what you need as I did. I'd love to know your thoughts, reactions, and any stories you would like to share. All you have to do is email this at [email protected] If it is at all possible please share this episode and tell your friends of the podcast, it really helps and makes me so, so grateful https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/213-can-i-tell-you-a-story/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected] Go to paulclough.co.uk/subscribe to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com Stitcher, tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Here is your show on RadioPublic: Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. The Transcript Hey, my friends, welcome to the PDU. And in this episode, and hopefully, in more episodes, I want to tell you a story. Everyone loves a story. And in fact, stories are the most powerful modality the most powerful medium, ever, ever imagined. And if you want to improve, just have a listen to this story. It's an awesome story. It will, well, they'll Cloughie guarantee is sort of there. Because I just know it changes the way you live your life. And it changed the way I live my life. And that's why I wanted to share it with you first. This is such an important story. Have a listen. And enjoy. Warning Warning, Warning. Warning. Doesn't everyone love a story? And when people say can I tell you a story we lean forward a bit? Hey, it's Paul here. Paul Cluff personal developer unplugged, I want to tell you about stories. In fact, I want to tell you a very personal story. But as I said, everyone loves a story, especially when you hear those words, once upon a time, or something similar. What happens to us when that when we hear those words? Can I tell you a story? We regress that way, we go back into the wonderful world of imagination of a child, we go back to being children I guess. Because the children, we learn from stories. We learn from all manner of stories. everything you can think of from Hansel and Gretel, the cartoons, the Disney, my favorite places that I learned stuff, and then everything else. And how we would then get involved in people reading a story to going to bed to get to sleep. It just falls out of our imagination. And that's what I'd love to do that with you. You see, I even heard in business as a guy, a great businessman said, there's great power in a story. You should never, never do a pitch. If you want to explain what you're what you want, what are you doing, just tell the story. Simply just tell the story. And the thing is, there are some people in this wonderful world that are blessed. They're blessed with a wonderful storytelling ability, aren't they? They really are blessed in my mind anyway, in my mind. I mean, I've got a special friend. And we're in a group, we're in a pub, we're going to have a beer. And he begins to tell a story. And he doesn't say the words he acts it. We can all see the pictures in our minds of what was happening. He lives it again. And he lives in such a way that we live it with him. In fact, it's like, as a little magician, in the case of spellbound, what a wonderful skill to have is something we could all make. I think we've all got it in us. We just need to have that confidence to share those stories. This is what, what I'm really looking for you I think because my meta description here is our stories. What's yours? What's mine? What are your or mine stories? Because I know we've all got them. And you see I first really got into this in some way. When I first started learning hypnosis way, way back in the year, nearly 21 years ago now. And there's a wonderful, very famous hypnotherapist called Milton Erickson. And he was modeled as part of the foundations of NLP because he was such a great therapist. And people thought he did these wonderful things, these special things and he did. He generally just told stories, metaphors. And sometimes he would tell the same metaphor to different people with different problems, different issues. And that story taught those different lessons. With different people, he would actually even send them on a walk. He used to live in Phoenix, and there's a place called Squaw Peak. I've never been, I'd love to go just to feel the atmosphere there, but he would send them walking up Squaw Peak with something to think about. And they'd be seeking a metaphor from a physical experience to what they see what they, what they endured. And they'll always come back down with a different insight, a different way of being sometimes the issues just completely disappeared. And they wouldn't know why. would know how, but they just did. So you see, technically, these stories are metaphors that allow us to go beyond around over under the critical, conscious faculty, it goes into our unconscious mind. So what I thought was, I've got some lovely stories and lovely metaphors that I like to tell them, I even told them a long time ago about my dog, how he may even tell that one again, I'll bring it back. But over the coming weeks, I'd like to share my metaphors, but they're not just mine, I've borrowed them. Because I think they're, these are the things that we share in this integrated field of learning. But some of my own, some have borrowed, some have taken and twisted to make them my own. Because when I feel they're my own, they just resonate deep inside me. And when they did resonate inside me, I hope, I really hope that they resonate inside of the listener. So I'm hoping I'm really am hoping that I will do and give them justice. do them justice. Do them Justice give them Justice they deserve. Well, that's my intention anyway. I'm going to do it in my way. In my own story, way as it were. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. Can you can I tell you a story, can I can you lean this is lean forward together. And maybe, maybe just set your intention, as I set mine to learn together, right now? What would that be like? Let me set the scene. You see, I'd read about Milton's stories. And my teacher, my teacher of hypnosis, who I later realize did just the same thing. or similar things. He just, I just thought he was rambling on. I didn't realize he was giving me these different metaphors to go inside me. But I loved him. And he brought over to this hypnosis training with two American NLP errs. And they had a two-day metaphor trading. And I thought, I've heard about these stories and just know, on the learning, I'd love to learn. I'm still learning but I'd love to learn from these people who if they if he's brought them into England. They're pretty special. So there I go, I enroll. And as usual, I'm going backwards and forwards in my mind, is this the right thing to do? It's 300 miles and I know in America 300 miles Well, that's just adorable, isn't it adorable? little, little hop. But for me in England. 300 miles was a mega distance. It really made me think and I got that blowing deja vu. Wonder what the French call that better? Had the statue of deja vu rather moment. You see, this is where my adventure started. Way back. I had the same type of concerns about driving all this way leaving my family. You know, I could see what I wanted to do. I had a voice inside with one or two voices rarely had one saying oh, this is gonna be brilliant. The other one? Oh, really? Do you really need to do this? You know, what's it all about? And I got these weird feelings inside. Feelings of excitement feeling of anxiety. And I just didn't know what to do. But I did it. I did it. So I'll again, left my family. It's only a weekend. But hey, Friday to a Monday or Sunday evening. But there we go. I left I drove all those massive, massive 300 miles. And I got there and what a wonderful training. It was lovely people. New people hadn't met or hadn't met before anyway. And things were going really okay. And we were learning and learning to put together a story make up stories. But it was we've talked about the learning processes, you know that unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, so I didn't know it and now I knew I didn't know it. And then I started to get that conscious competence. You know that really clunky bit. And it was clunky, get it together Cloughie, it. It was clunky, but I was getting there. And then it happened, that aha moment where things just fell into place. I didn't notice at the time. It's grown on me since then. And it's grown on me, just as this story grew on me. And it's a story in a story, I guess. I say I sort of realized it because I knew something was happening side. But I didn't know what. And then since then, I've told the story only a few times. I don't tell it often. Because it evokes emotions in me, because I just got it. And I've got it in several different ways. And over a period of time, I can really relate to all of that story. So much more now. It just seems to make sense to me. So anyway, there we were, let's get back to this story there. We were in the training room, and everyone is there. And I guess we're coming to the end, it was the second day in the afternoon. And we were sort of finishing off we were telling a metaphor, telling a story to each other as a bit of our training, but about in doing the just doing the drills as it were. And getting ready to go ish. We knew this about half an hour ago. And then I heard the voice of one of the trainers, the husband, and he just shouted out, Norma, Norma, the rose. I thought, What the hell is that Noma, the rose. And it was if time stood still? Well, for me anyway. If you ever had that, when you're so transfixed as if you're transported into a different place. You see, we do some questions and answers. And just from the back, this voice is normal. The rows. What happened was one of us, one of the therapists there, one of our group was asking a question. And he was asked, Well, this is such a good question. And the rose is the answer. And again, I'm so intrigued, I'm so curious, what is it about the rose and Norma? And they said, Okay, well to this guy, when you come and is a male guy that makes sense. Come and sit on this stall in the middle of the room. And we're all sitting around like a semicircle around him a normal sign in front. And she said just for the group, maybe you'd explain your issue, what is it you can't, not getting? And the guy said, they said, Well, I love this weekend, and I'm trying to find the right story. The right metaphor, you see, I have this client. She's a lovely girl. And she's been coming to me for therapy. I'm just not getting it. She's been abused. mentally, physically, sexually. And I just can't make any headway. And in fact, I'm so concerned for what I've done is I've gone to all the therapists, I know all different modalities of therapy. And we're all trying to help us go. And none of us are making any progress. And we're not charging or any money, because we just want to help. But he said It is so heartbreaking to see her with these issues and the effects of these issues. I just don't know what to do. And I just wondered, could you help? Could you just point me in a direction? I thought, just listening to him speak. I was imagining myself in his place. What would I do? But the thing is Norma says, Okay, I want to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you a story. But before I do, I want you to become somebody else. I want you to sit there and listen to me intently. But I want you to be your client, you know, with your empathy, how she feels, or you think you know how she feels. I want you to feel it as if you were her. When you were there. Just give me a note. So he sat there just for a few seconds. And then he nodded. And you could see us he's like physique changed slightly. And his face just dropped a little bit. You could see he wasn't the happy guy. It was a happy go lucky guy. But he just suddenly changed. And then normal began to speak. She said You know what? I once had a beautiful rosebush. This beautiful rosebush. Well, it just grew. In our garden, and it was so, so beautiful. I just look at it, look at it for ages to sit my garden and look. And I seem to have this, this connection with it. And it seemed to have a connection with me. And you know what? I treasured it with all my heart. And then something happened. I wanted to make alterations to the house. I had the plans drawn up. And the builder came in. And they came in to do the work that I wanted. And he seemed to understand me, and what I wanted. I explained about the rosebush and how or how important it was to me. And I did the best I could. I tried to explain, in some weird way that connection I had with this rose bush, and how dear it was to me. He was a builder after all. And you will probably understand that more than most. When he promised He promised to look after my rosebush. Protect it as the work progressed. So with that in mind, I left the house in Well, he's in his good, capable hands and went to stay away. While so what was being done. It was so messy and dusty. And when they were doing those alterations, it was just too much. And I had other things to do you see, I just had to get on. So I left, left everything in his capable hands. Anyway, I returned when the what was done. And as you do, you went to see your rosebush. to my horror it was gone. where it should have been where I could remember it so vividly. There was a pile of rubble, debris, rubbish. My heart sank, so I couldn't believe it. I carefully lifted each layer of that rubbish that debris, I put it aside, put it over there, put it in the bin. So carefully did I lift it up? And it took a little while. But I did. Did the work so gently. And I could gently expose the place where my rosebush had been my founder. Yeah, I found it. But it was broken beyond recognition. Not even a branch remained. Imagine how I felt. I felt broken to hurt last, and even a little guilty. I cried. I cried to myself. Couldn't I just couldn't feel any worse. I know, I know. I could look for another rosebush to replace this rosebush. But that didn't feel right. Well, I guess to console myself, I thought at least I had the memories of my time sitting in my quiet place with my rosebush. I could remember them. But it wasn't the same. I can actually sometimes remember times and relive those wonderful times, those wonderful memories, as if they were actually here right now. See, hearing and feeling those times again. And those memories were a great comfort. Those feelings were a great comfort. But I had to move on I guess. I had things to do, to plan to move on with a new work in the house. Now the builders are gone. So I did. And it was in one of my times in my quiet place. I shorted some time. I was just sitting quietly, minding my own business. And then could you believe it? As I was looking, I noticed a small bump in the ground where my rosebush had once been. So I began to look even closer. And there in the center, deep down was a spool stem growing. I carefully remove the sore from and around it. So it could see the light. Yes, yes, it was my rosebush. Small and tender. I just knew I just yeah. And over the next few days I tended and nurtured that rose with gentle my full loving care. protected from harm now. I'm always letting the light shine in on it. I guess when it grew it grew stronger each day. Although Like, I gave you support as well, it seemed to bend in the wind now and support itself really was amazing. And do you know? Do you know that you can take cuttings from a rosebush? And have them grow grafted? to others? I didn't. But we do know now, don't wait. You see, I don't know if you got it, if you get the emotion that I get from my past how, sometimes like, it just resonates with me, I even got that they must be dust in the air because my eyes are watering, I guess. And that's why very rarely tell this story. Because of the emotions and the thoughts, it brings out in me. Maybe I should read it more often. Because if the emotions are there, things to work. And I know that I owe a huge debt of gratitude. And thanks to those two American LPs, it will fill a normal Beretta. I'm now going to book with their, with their stories to they will also people they are awesome people. They made a difference to my life, I guess. And they're still doing it with that story. I just love it, I just go there, I can see it in my mind anytime. Now I know I got my golden ticket. From that training from this story. There's one particular story and what I didn't tell you, the guy who was sitting there, as if he was his client. He was in tears. After about the first minute of that story, and you could see him, he was visibly shaken and affected emotionally by those words. And when it when it ended. He had a big smile on his face, because he said, that's it. That is it. And he got his golden ticket and I got my golden ticket. And I wonder, well, I truly hope I truly hope that you got your golden ticket from this. Or, and, and or if you know somebody that you think their story? Well, they've shared with them, they'll get their golden ticket or just get them to think, to think of things, maybe about other people about themselves. So all we need to do, I guess. So in some ways, I fulfilled what I wanted to tell you. I want to tell you a story. I also want to tell you a bit about me, I guess. And if you read between the lines and the emotion, you'll get a little bit. And also I want to tell you there, you know, I didn't know that that was going to happen. I just thought I was going to learn about how to create a story. And the lessons just came and they come from so different places. Norma, the rose, those words are in my head. So maybe we can just, I know, get curious. Maybe a lot of thought. You know, as I said, My meta view, we've all got stories, you've got yours, you've got mine. And I'd love you to tell them tell and share the hidden golden tickets in your life so they can they can help you and help other people. And that would be awesome. And I just hope I've done it, justice. And I've done Phil and Norma Beretta justice, by sharing their story. And my story to you. And as I said, what I'm going to do is I've got more stories, maybe not quite as much as that. But I've got some more short stories, stories up pinched, adapted. And some of my own, say this is mine and theirs together, says my story rarely. But I'm going to share them not every week. Because I just want to just sprinkle them, sprinkle them through the episodes. And then what I'm thinking of is maybe I'm going to bring them all together and put them on the hypnosis side, the hypnosis part of the website, which is just dedicated to hypnosis and NLP processes. You know where it is that you Paul Clough online.com forward slash podcast, there is 50 I didn't realize there's 50 there now 50 processes, hypnosis and NLP. Awesome and guess what they cost? Freedom? Nothing. They're yours to play with. Just go to Paul Clough online.com for slash podcast, sign up. Boom, they're all yours. Isn't that wonderful? But yes, but I think it is one Thank you very much. And, and what I'd like to do also, just remember you got that, that free hypnosis if you go to Paul Clough online.com. So before you put the podcasts in, you can go to there. And there's some free hypnosis there, which well helps you to reduce your anxiety, all in about 15 minutes, or 15-minute hypnosis, which reduces anxiety. And once you've listened to a few times, you can always listen to as many times as you like, because it's free, and it's yours and downloadable. But once you get it, it'll start to every time stress or anxiety comes along, it will start to kick in, I believe, and therefore help you help you deal and be a different person, be able to make great choices. There we go. There'll be a few more things after this. I'd love your thoughts on this and love your, your reactions and your thoughts of listening to more. Is it something you're you're curious to do. And I'd also really love to know what you got from this and get from the other stories, particularly about the metaphors, this metaphor. Because ever, as I said right at the very beginning, Milton Erickson used to tell the same story to so many different people. And they all got it in a different way. In fact, I pinched that story or his story and told it to my mother. And she didn't get it, she said, but then I saw her start to behave differently. And she did. She just didn't know she did. Jesus told me it was a silly story. But it goes in. So I'd love to know what your reactions were your thoughts? Maybe How did it how it's changed, you're in such a wonderful way? or How did you do that? by you know, you know, the old feedback at personal development unplugged.com comes to me personally, I'll personally reply to you. You never know, when you do. I've been known to slip in another hypnosis track just to say thank you. Because it's love this interaction. And it's my, I guess is my way of selfless service. Just because I do want something in return, I know that I want in return, I want you to become bigger, better than you ever dreamt possible. That's what, that's what I want. And in turn, I get to feel good for it. So I always get something out. And I know you'll get something out of it too. So if you like to just send me an email, just say hi, and email to say hi. And there's also if you wanted to sit down with me and have a cup of coffee, you can listen to this. Yet, there's so many different ways that you can support this podcast. One of them obviously is sharing and subscribing and things like that. But if you wanted to, if you wanted to, you could join in the metaphor of buying me a beer buying me a cup of coffee, but you're not actually buying me anything. In fact, you're just helping support the show, support the PDU, the personal development unplugged podcast, hey, sometimes it's nice just to give that bit of help, if you enjoy it, I've done it so many times with the things that I enjoy and the things I use. And I think it just goes to show you appreciation. And it helps to keep things moving. So if you'd like to buy me a cup of coffee, or beer, or simply joining that metaphor to support this, well, this personal development unplugged podcast, please go to buy me a coffee.com then it's forward slash pluses, c l o u g h IESPDU. There's also a link to it in the show notes and also on the website is all over the place. So if you'd like to join that, just click on the button. And also, when you do, I'm working away that I can help give a little bit back to you when you do that, but that's gonna be a surprise. Okay. Anyway, back to what we were talking about. Yeah, that's it, where you could sit and have a beer or coffee. That'd be great. Become a real part of this community as I know you want to be anyway, enjoy any thoughts you have of issues, or things that we could discuss, or a process you'd like to have developed for your particular issue your thoughts, or things you want? Let me know, it's the same email address feedback, a personal development, unplugged calm. Give me a few thoughts to get my little gray matter thinking. And maybe we'll come up with a new story as well. Who knows? Anyway, before we go, there'll be at least one more thing and I think they'll also be maybe, maybe thoughts or reminding you reminding you of earlier episodes of the personal development unplugged podcast, things that might have just slipped by you. Or maybe you weren't here when they first come out and give you an idea of what the type of things I was talking about why back then. Okay, anyway, have more fun than you can stand. Enjoy every heartbeat. And as usual, speaking to you the unconscious mind, what would it be like to surprise, their conscious mind to feel happy for no reason. And with that, my friend, I will speak to you next time. So way back in the day, well, not all the way back in the day, back to well, hashtag one or two, we did an episode called letting go of the old you. And it's so important to let go the audio, because every day you change your different view. So you need to let go of the old human dragging around. So here's that intro. from way back then Episode 102. Letting go of the old you have a lesson. And if it sparks your interest, hey, go back and have a listen. So what's this podcast all about? Well, it's all about being the real you but also being better than the real you but also about D hypnotizing you, which is really strange because I'm also going to do a hypnosis track to go with it. It's all very confusing. But as usual, majors make all the difference to you. Right now. Have a listen. So before you leave this unplugged bond of mine, this hypnotic mind if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it will help everyone knows if you can just just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you probably well know that's the only cost pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom. We are all going to make a difference to this little planet earth and the people in it. Let's make a good a nice world. Okay, okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged