Show notes
Creating Yours and My Greatest Moments I overheard someone say "My greatest successes did not come from my greatest successes but from my greatest defeats" Defeats are inevitable companions. They arrive unexpectedly, challenging our resolve and testing our mettle. However, within each defeat lies a profound opportunity for growth and learning. In this podcast episode, we delve into the invaluable lessons gleaned from our defeats and how they shape our paths towards success. Defeats are not just setbacks; they are profound teachers. They teach resilience, humility, and the art of adaptation. When we encounter failure, we are forced to confront our limitations, reassess our strategies, and emerge stronger than before. It is through defeat that we discover the depth of our determination and the power of our perseverance. Moreover, defeats cultivate empathy and understanding. They remind us that we are all fallible beings, prone to mistakes and missteps. By embracing our defeats, we foster compassion for ourselves and others, recognizing that triumph is not always measured by victories, but by the courage to face adversity head-on. So let's see and hear, it is a podcast after all, and learn ways we can learn from the results, not failures, we have achieved to make success a way of life. Please share this episode if you have learned from it or simply enjoyed it: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/389-creating-yours-and-my-greatest-moments Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected] If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, , Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This podcast is all about understanding where your greatest moments came from Hey, my friend, I bet you've got some greatest moments, because we've all got greatest moments, haven't we? We've all got some bloody great moments in our lives. If you were to think back, you got some really good ones. I've got some really good ones. And the other day I heard this, this sentence, and, I can't for the life of me think who said it. It was on a podcast, I think could have been in a book, I think. I don't know if you know, let me know. But it says, my greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And when I heard that, I thought, that can't be right. Surely that's wrong. Can't be right. My greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And you see, when I looked and thought deeply about that, just in the sentence, it doesn't say they came from my greatest failures. It says the word defeat. And why would that be? And you see there in, I'm, sure it's everywhere else but in NLP land. Neuro linguistic programming, one of the great presuppositions, which is a nice useful assumption, is there is no such thing as failure, just feedback. It's a result. You got something, maybe it wasn't what you expected and you've called it a failure because that's why I didn't want that. But that's what you got. So it's just feedback. But I think sometimes when we call them failures, it means something different. It means we haven't learnt. We haven't learnt the lesson that that feedback gave us. And I think that's where we get negative emotions, or partly negative emotions are still attached to those events. And, that negative emotion there is to remind you, remind you of that result, the one you didn't want. The one you got, you didn't want it, it wasn't positive. And therefore, that emotion is still there, and it's there to remind you and also to keep you safe. Because until you bloody learn, learn the lesson of that moment, that event, and how you could do it differently, then that emotion will stay there. And that's why we work through it. When we work through with a client, or when I work through with a client, I want to know what the positive intention is and what are the learnings from that event. Because the positive intentions of those things is to protect you and not let you do it again. Well, if you haven't got the learnings, then the emotion is the only other thing your unconscious mind can do, give you that emotion. And you go, maybe it's fear, maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's. Well, you name it. Any bloody negative emotion will be doing something for you from an event that you haven't learned from. And that's what we'd call, I guess, then, if there was a failure, failure to learn. And then I thought, well, as we looked at this, my greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And what's a defeat? Let's have a look at that. And, I think a defeat is. Well, it was bad back then. It's in the past tense, because you can talk about it unemotionally, because you're not there, that emotion is gone. And by learning what you needed to learn by that defeat. Yeah. It wasn't what you wanted. It means you've learnt untrap the resources within that event, the learnings which will allow you to use. To use the learnings that you've learned from that event now, so it doesn't happen again. And also so you could maybe get closer to what you want, your intended outcome. So let's have a look. Let's have a look at ours. You know, look at, the times when you had greatest defeats. They were bad back then. They were bad. Remember? I can remember some of mine. And at the time, I didn't know where I was going to turn in that instant. I can think of a couple straight away, but they were bad back then. I can talk about them till the cows come home. Now, without getting emotional at all, which tells me I've learnt from them, and I haven't re experienced them again either. What's the gap between a defeat and your greatest moment So what did you learn? If you just think back now, if you just took a moment or two to think back of a defeat. So not one of your greatest moments, but one of those greatest defeats. And as you bring it to mind, maybe you could just summon up what you learnt or what you learned with a d. Do you spell it with a t or a d? Learnt or learned? I never know. I'm just giving you time to think. And, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe this is the time when you do get that little puzzle book out. Because sometimes it takes a little bit of time, doesn't it? It takes a bit of time to get your mind and your unconscious mind in sync, your conscious mind, your unconscious mind, so you can delve into these. And, because you're learning and understanding what you're learning, again, the emotions disappeared. You dissociated from that event. Now, because it's been gone, you realize it's in the past and you've learned from it. But understand what you've learned. Learned. And then just think, well, what happened after that? What happened that became a good moment, maybe a great moment, maybe one of your greatest moments. And sometimes you have to go like, what is my greatest moment? What defeat came before that? And, what's the gap in the middle? What's the learning between the defeat and, that greatest moment? I mean, you have to take a moment, really see if you can see the learnings, see in your mind's eye, maybe the picture of the memory and understand what you're looking for. Maybe you can hear it. Maybe you can hear in the voices of other people. But maybe you can hear it in your own internal voice as you talk to yourself about that moment, the way you describe it, just seeking out that, aha, moment of the learnings that came to allow you to have that greatest moment. Maybe there's a smell and taste, or maybe it's just a feeling. You get a feeling of the understandings that you learned back then, and it's good to note them down. Why would you want to do that? Well, we'll go into that in a moment. We will. I promise. You see, I know I've had some small defeats, but I know they've gone on to help me make some better moments, some good moments. Maybe no one called my greatest moments, but I know I can. Just by looking at this, I can see what happened. See, I know there was times when I've had this wonderful bit of inspiration. I'd be sitting in my lovely, quiet place in my garden, just me, cup of coffee, puzzle book, and I'd come up with this thought. Ah, that's a good thought for a website. That's exactly the type of thing that I want to do. This is the type of help I want to give to somebody. And I'd quickly run indoors, get online, oh, I've got a great name for the website, and that URL is available to me. Oh, buy it now. And I quickly bought it, then I set up the website, and then I put it out there, and guess what? It bombed. It bombed completely. Okay, you can say, well, that's a failure, Paul. Well, no, it isn't a failure, because what did I learn? Because I still act on that inspiration, but I write it down first, and then I just take a moment to a moment or two to think about it, casting my mind back to those other times. What can I do differently? To think, well, is this the right thing to do? Is this a real thing that people need? Or is it just cluffy thinking people? I think people need it. And then I go to have a look and find out, yeah, this is a need, and I've got something to share for that need. So I'm learning, and maybe I'd learn a little bit about the production of a website. I still not very good at it, but I've got an idea, I plan it out a little bit more. So I was learning, learning a little process of taking a little bit of intuition, and instead of jumping on it straight away, I did act, but I act more thoughtfully. And I think that's great learning, just to be a little bit more thoughtful. What are the effects? What's my intention? Because I know my intention, there was more ego bound. I just want to get this lovely website out, and it's all, and what a wonderful thing to do, Cluffy. But now I'm more thoughtful and I think of how can I help? And will this help? And I think this website, this website, this podcast is a product of that, as I think about it now, and yes, it's not the biggest podcast, but it is one of my greatest moments. It's something that I really enjoy doing, and it's something that I know has helped at least two or three people. And then I can remember, you know, if you want to really go into the greatest defeats, I can remember, I'm not going to go through the details of it, but it was the darkest moment of my life. Something happened and it was to me so bad. I know, I think, I know I had a breakdown of some kind, but it was like a breakdown. It's one of those things nearly hidden from most people. Well, I thought it was, I'm sure it wasn't, but I had to carry on, I had to carry on doing the work that I was expected to do. But in my own time, I was grieving, and that was my greatest defeat. But what happened a little bit. What happened? Well, I began to take action. I take action on effectively being my own therapist. I had to question myself as if I was the therapist to myself as the client. And through that action, again, thoughtful action, I think that led to processes that helped me, but also processes that now are, used in trainings and online. Online trainings, as they were master classes to help people understand when they're in their darkest time that they've actually got. They've got qualities that are really exceptional, but you just don't see it. It also led to me writing a book about it. Now, that book, I did put it online. I did rush. I know that. And, I know it's helped a few people. But again, it was a process of understanding how you can record. Again, this is way before podcasting, going through the process of understanding how to record, how to put stuff, and all those little things I learned along the way at the time. Was I thinking, oh, this is a learning? No, because I was in it. And you can't read the label when you're in the bloody bottle, can you? Go and find therapy. Good therapists are around everywhere. You probably find you're not too far away from one yourself In the jar? But I did. And, one of the beliefs I recognized, I think, over and over again, but it didn't really hit me until, maybe a year ago that no one could ever hurt me. No one will hurt me. No one will hurt me again. And that's not being. Because I think one time I used it as a little bit of, a shield armor, plating, as it were, not to let anybody inside because they didn't want to be her. And, now I'm thinking, well, no, I've got all the skills, resources inside me to be me. Therefore, no one could ever hurt me because I'm with me, and I'm not, you know, giving up my, myself, my, any part of me to anyone unless I choose to. And I can now choose to. Not going to give my power away, because I think that's what was happening. I was giving my power away by putting up these defenses, this armor plating. I'm not wanting to be hurt again. And now I realize that. So I've learned and learned and learned, and now when I think back to those darkest times, they're in the past, they've gone. And it makes me think now that I can do anything, because they'll always have me. And that's okay? Because no one's going to hurt me. No one can hurt me. It's my choice. And I know that I've got so many more resources inside me, and I don't, necessarily understand each one of them, but I know they're there. So what about you have a little think back to two times where you think they were either failures or defeats. Now, if they. If you're still getting emotional about it, when you think of that time, like if I go back, say, ten years ago, because it was a long time, but it took a long time, maybe only five years ago, those emotions were still raw and I still had to keep working and working and working. And if, as you think about those times where your greatest defeats were, go get help. Go and find therapy. Now. You know, maybe you don't know because maybe you're new here, but to me, therapy is with a great hypnotist, a master hypnotist, someone who's a master practitioner of NLP and a master practitioner of timeline therapy. Why do I say that? Because that's what I am and that's the way I was taught. And I've seen so many great results when people work with people, with those learnings and those backgrounds, those skills. And I know if you look back in the catalogue of previous episodes, I think it's called how to find a great therapist or what to expect from therapy. I don't know which one it is, but just keep googling and searching in the things. You'll find them. But go get help. Go and invest in yourself. It probably will cost you just a little bit. Doesn't mean that expensive. Don't get caught by those, and don't get caught. That, it's going to take a long, long time because this is so deep, so emotional. Now that's b's. A good therapist will help you, work with you, and help you release all that emotion and get all those learnings really quickly. And we are talking in a few number of sessions. Not years, not months, just a few sessions. All you have to do is have the will to do whatever it takes. And because you just thought about this and you. I'm still getting a bit. I am getting emotional about this. Well, I do think I need help. Go find it. Good therapists are around everywhere. You probably find you're not too far away from one yourself right now, but also you can just begin to think, well, what can I learn from this? If there was a learning to be had, what would that learning be? You see, you're opening with questions like that and asking your unconscious mind to go and delve for you. You're not thinking about the issue. you're thinking about what, can I have learned of this? What can I learn from this? What would I need to be different to be able to protect myself from doing that again? Because sometimes you might find there's, well, actually, there's a pattern here. Maybe I keep meeting the wrong person, or not the wrong person, but the wrong type of people. So what's going on? What can I learn from this? What can I do differently? How do I want to be? And when you write those things down, yeah, I know, you have to write that sucker down. We always say that because once it's on paper, it's out there. Writing is the best form of thinking, and it's still there, and you can explore. So you can put it down, go away, go for a walk, leave it for a day or two, come back, and all of a sudden the aha moment will come because your unconscious mind will have carried on thinking about it. Because you've asked real questions, good questions, not why did it happen to me? Cause you'll just come up with some wonderful, bonky negative beliefs or some excuses. Reasons are excuses, but once you start to say, how can I learn from this? What is there to learn from this? What could I do different? How could I be different? How would I like to be right now? And, write those suckers down and you'll start to learn. And when you just get one little glimpse of learning, and this is the bit I was saying, we'll come back to, you can then just notice how good it feels. Good it feels to learn one thing, let alone the whole lot. And you can feel so grateful and just feel grateful. You don't have to, if you want to, you can write it down, I feel grateful for, I'm grateful for. Or just think about it and feel how, thankful and, what thankful and grateful feels like. And just feel it intensely. Because when you feel grateful, nothing else negative can come into your mind. Nothing negative can come into your emotionally body, mind, body physiology or anything. Because you're feeling so good and grateful. And what happens is, I believe your unconscious mind then goes, do you know what? Let's do some more good stuff, because I like you now. I know what you're grateful for because that's what makes you feel good. Let's find some more learnings, or let's get you to be the way you want to be. Quicker, bigger, better, faster. Then you can start. Ah. what next? Now, when you get that, what next? There's two things I'd like to say on the what next? If you are still having problems, let me know what they are And you start to feel, I feel this good because I've learnt something and now I want to do something else or be like this or do that. But that's a bit of a jump, bit of a stretch. Let me know. Email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug, um.com and I'll come up with a process of some kind. I'll come up with a way of thinking. I'll come up with something that you could do. A real process, not just talking, but some of the talking. You know, we just reframe it and a reframe of looking for the possible positiveness, if that's a word within that, how you can use it, what you can learn can blow things out of the water completely. So, let me know. But also if you are still having some problems, let me know what they are. Or when I think about this, I still get this type of emotion, I still want you to go and get help, but if it's not big enough or you don't feel it's, well, it's not affecting my life so badly that it, you know, I think about every moment of the day or every, every day of the week or every week of the month. I just need a bit of help. Again, let me know because I'll either guide you to one of the processes within. Because I've got, by the way, if I didn't tell you before, I've got 60 plus NLP and hypnosis processes just for you and they're free, complimentary, they're bloody downloadable. I'm gonna tell you about them. right now. You see, that's what you could use, and I could guide you to one of those. I've done that before with many people that email me and I just say, well, I think this one's good for you. And, if not, we'll delve deeper. Sometimes I've created a process and done an action where, you know, I've done episodes around a particular issue and then a process and that's what it's all about. And, because you see this now, each one of those things, if I, if I come up with something for somebody, is a greatest moment from me. And that greatest moment has come from those greatest defeats where I want to think thoughtfully, help people, share people, share with people so they don't go through what I went through, or if they're in going through the type of things that I went through the ladder to get them out of the hole, the help, the hand, the understanding that you're not alone. We're here to help. I hope that sort of makes sense. But it's a great thing, isn't it? Great thing. The greatest moments did not. Oh, I'm going to repeat it again. My greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. This podcast is all about learning from your unconscious mind And you see, I made just, one thing before we close, before I close, what was this all about? And I think from my greatest defeats, it's my intention to help. To help you and to help you to get up and move on with your life, to enjoy life, to create the life that you would be so grateful for and then get it even better. And then you can show people by just being the person you want to be, being the change you want to see in yourself, which will then rep, go out there into the world and show other people that change is possible. Change can be quick, change can be comfortable, doesn't have to take years, it doesn't have to go through all agonizing emotions. Now, you don't need any of that because it's all about learning, getting your unconscious learn unconscious mind, rather to learn and then find better ways to protect you. That's all. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. There you go. Please do share this if you would. It'd be so good if you did because you would be doing the same thing that I'm doing. Just trying to help a, little bit some way, because you'll never know how far the ripples of change will go. So if you just share this to one person, that'd be awesome. And if you do, actually stumble and your finger by accident presses subscribe, that would be awesome. And if you just share the whole website, website, the whole podcast by accident, that would be awesome too. Anyway, food for thought, real food for thought. And real positive things will come from this. I know, it really will. Maybe you'll have to listen to this again and just get that paper and pencil out that puzzle book and just remember those questions. What did I learn? How can I use it in the future? How can I use it to be different? How do I want to be? Great questions. And, from great questions, your unconscious mind will provide you with great answers to find your greatest moments. And just think, now you are. If you do this, you're sowing the seed, building the foundations for your next greatest moment that you don't know what it is yet. Now isn't that exciting? Yeah. Okay, my friend, I'm gonna leave you with that. It's time to fly. It's time to have more fun than you can withstand in any moment. More fun than you can stand. And if you are new to this, at the end of flying away, there'll be a little bit of what this podcast is all about. A little bit about me. Okay? So until the next time, my friend, enjoy and fly one. Paul Clough launches personal development unplugged podcast This podcast is all about understanding where your greatest moments came from So your heads up to this longer podcast, I think it's that long, but it's all about understanding where your greatest moments came from, your greatest successes came from. And I tell you what, they didn't come from those greatest successes before that. They didn't come from the greatest moments before that, because somebody told me something. It's just a sentence and it just made me think, and I think it'll make you think too. And when you do, you are going to find wonderful things. So do have a listen after the next 15 seconds or so. My greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments, says Paul Clough Hey, my friend, I bet you've got some greatest moments, because we've all got greatest moments, haven't we? We've all got some bloody great moments in our lives. If you were to think back, you got some really good ones. I've got some really good ones. And the other day I heard this, this sentence, and, I can't for the life of me think who said it. It was on a podcast, I think could have been in a book, I think. I don't know if you know, let me know. But it says, my greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And when I heard that, I thought, that can't be right. Surely that's wrong. Can't be right. My greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And you see, when I looked and thought deeply about that, just in the sentence, it doesn't say they came from my greatest failures. It says the word defeat. And why would that be? And you see there in, I'm, sure it's everywhere else but in NLP land. Neuro linguistic programming, one of the great presuppositions, which is a nice useful assumption, is there is no such thing as failure, just feedback. It's a result. You got something, maybe it wasn't what you expected and you've called it a failure because that's why I didn't want that. But that's what you got. So it's just feedback. But I think sometimes when we call them failures, it means something different. It means we haven't learnt. We haven't learnt the lesson that that feedback gave us. And I think that's where we get negative emotions, or partly negative emotions are still attached to those events. And, that negative emotion there is to remind you, remind you of that result, the one you didn't want. The one you got, you didn't want it, it wasn't positive. And therefore, that emotion is still there, and it's there to remind you and also to keep you safe. Because until you bloody learn, learn the lesson of that moment, that event, and how you could do it differently, then that emotion will stay there. And that's why we work through it. When we work through with a client, or when I work through with a client, I want to know what the positive intention is and what are the learnings from that event. Because the positive intentions of those things is to protect you and not let you do it again. Well, if you haven't got the learnings, then the emotion is the only other thing your unconscious mind can do, give you that emotion. And you go, maybe it's fear, maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's. Well, you name it. Any bloody negative emotion will be doing something for you from an event that you haven't learned from. And that's what we'd call, I guess, then, if there was a failure, failure to learn. And then I thought, well, as we looked at this, my greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. And what's a defeat? Let's have a look at that. And, I think a defeat is. Well, it was bad back then. It's in the past tense, because you can talk about it unemotionally, because you're not there, that emotion is gone. And by learning what you needed to learn by that defeat. Yeah. It wasn't what you wanted. It means you've learnt untrap the resources within that event, the learnings which will allow you to use. To use the learnings that you've learned from that event now, so it doesn't happen again. And also so you could maybe get closer to what you want, your intended outcome. So let's have a look. Let's have a look at ours. You know, look at, the times when you had greatest defeats. They were bad back then. They were bad. Remember? I can remember some of mine. And at the time, I didn't know where I was going to turn in that instant. I can think of a couple straight away, but they were bad back then. I can talk about them till the cows come home. Now, without getting emotional at all, which tells me I've learnt from them, and I haven't re experienced them again either. What's the gap between a defeat and your greatest moment So what did you learn? If you just think back now, if you just took a moment or two to think back of a defeat. So not one of your greatest moments, but one of those greatest defeats. And as you bring it to mind, maybe you could just summon up what you learnt or what you learned with a d. Do you spell it with a t or a d? Learnt or learned? I never know. I'm just giving you time to think. And, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe this is the time when you do get that little puzzle book out. Because sometimes it takes a little bit of time, doesn't it? It takes a bit of time to get your mind and your unconscious mind in sync, your conscious mind, your unconscious mind, so you can delve into these. And, because you're learning and understanding what you're learning, again, the emotions disappeared. You dissociated from that event. Now, because it's been gone, you realize it's in the past and you've learned from it. But understand what you've learned. Learned. And then just think, well, what happened after that? What happened that became a good moment, maybe a great moment, maybe one of your greatest moments. And sometimes you have to go like, what is my greatest moment? What defeat came before that? And, what's the gap in the middle? What's the learning between the defeat and, that greatest moment? I mean, you have to take a moment, really see if you can see the learnings, see in your mind's eye, maybe the picture of the memory and understand what you're looking for. Maybe you can hear it. Maybe you can hear in the voices of other people. But maybe you can hear it in your own internal voice as you talk to yourself about that moment, the way you describe it, just seeking out that, aha, moment of the learnings that came to allow you to have that greatest moment. Maybe there's a smell and taste, or maybe it's just a feeling. You get a feeling of the understandings that you learned back then, and it's good to note them down. Why would you want to do that? Well, we'll go into that in a moment. We will. I promise. You see, I know I've had some small defeats, but I know they've gone on to help me make some better moments, some good moments. Maybe no one called my greatest moments, but I know I can. Just by looking at this, I can see what happened. See, I know there was times when I've had this wonderful bit of inspiration. I'd be sitting in my lovely, quiet place in my garden, just me, cup of coffee, puzzle book, and I'd come up with this thought. Ah, that's a good thought for a website. That's exactly the type of thing that I want to do. This is the type of help I want to give to somebody. And I'd quickly run indoors, get online, oh, I've got a great name for the website, and that URL is available to me. Oh, buy it now. And I quickly bought it, then I set up the website, and then I put it out there, and guess what? It bombed. It bombed completely. Okay, you can say, well, that's a failure, Paul. Well, no, it isn't a failure, because what did I learn? Because I still act on that inspiration, but I write it down first, and then I just take a moment to a moment or two to think about it, casting my mind back to those other times. What can I do differently? To think, well, is this the right thing to do? Is this a real thing that people need? Or is it just cluffy thinking people? I think people need it. And then I go to have a look and find out, yeah, this is a need, and I've got something to share for that need. So I'm learning, and maybe I'd learn a little bit about the production of a website. I still not very good at it, but I've got an idea, I plan it out a little bit more. So I was learning, learning a little process of taking a little bit of intuition, and instead of jumping on it straight away, I did act, but I act more thoughtfully. And I think that's great learning, just to be a little bit more thoughtful. What are the effects? What's my intention? Because I know my intention, there was more ego bound. I just want to get this lovely website out, and it's all, and what a wonderful thing to do, Cluffy. But now I'm more thoughtful and I think of how can I help? And will this help? And I think this website, this website, this podcast is a product of that, as I think about it now, and yes, it's not the biggest podcast, but it is one of my greatest moments. It's something that I really enjoy doing, and it's something that I know has helped at least two or three people. And then I can remember, you know, if you want to really go into the greatest defeats, I can remember, I'm not going to go through the details of it, but it was the darkest moment of my life. Something happened and it was to me so bad. I know, I think, I know I had a breakdown of some kind, but it was like a breakdown. It's one of those things nearly hidden from most people. Well, I thought it was, I'm sure it wasn't, but I had to carry on, I had to carry on doing the work that I was expected to do. But in my own time, I was grieving, and that was my greatest defeat. But what happened a little bit. What happened? Well, I began to take action. I take action on effectively being my own therapist. I had to question myself as if I was the therapist to myself as the client. And through that action, again, thoughtful action, I think that led to processes that helped me, but also processes that now are, used in trainings and online. Online trainings, as they were master classes to help people understand when they're in their darkest time that they've actually got. They've got qualities that are really exceptional, but you just don't see it. It also led to me writing a book about it. Now, that book, I did put it online. I did rush. I know that. And, I know it's helped a few people. But again, it was a process of understanding how you can record. Again, this is way before podcasting, going through the process of understanding how to record, how to put stuff, and all those little things I learned along the way at the time. Was I thinking, oh, this is a learning? No, because I was in it. And you can't read the label when you're in the bloody bottle, can you? Go and find therapy. Good therapists are around everywhere. You probably find you're not too far away from one yourself In the jar? But I did. And, one of the beliefs I recognized, I think, over and over again, but it didn't really hit me until, maybe a year ago that no one could ever hurt me. No one will hurt me. No one will hurt me again. And that's not being. Because I think one time I used it as a little bit of, a shield armor, plating, as it were, not to let anybody inside because they didn't want to be her. And, now I'm thinking, well, no, I've got all the skills, resources inside me to be me. Therefore, no one could ever hurt me because I'm with me, and I'm not, you know, giving up my, myself, my, any part of me to anyone unless I choose to. And I can now choose to. Not going to give my power away, because I think that's what was happening. I was giving my power away by putting up these defenses, this armor plating. I'm not wanting to be hurt again. And now I realize that. So I've learned and learned and learned, and now when I think back to those darkest times, they're in the past, they've gone. And it makes me think now that I can do anything, because they'll always have me. And that's okay? Because no one's going to hurt me. No one can hurt me. It's my choice. And I know that I've got so many more resources inside me, and I don't, necessarily understand each one of them, but I know they're there. So what about you have a little think back to two times where you think they were either failures or defeats. Now, if they. If you're still getting emotional about it, when you think of that time, like if I go back, say, ten years ago, because it was a long time, but it took a long time, maybe only five years ago, those emotions were still raw and I still had to keep working and working and working. And if, as you think about those times where your greatest defeats were, go get help. Go and find therapy. Now. You know, maybe you don't know because maybe you're new here, but to me, therapy is with a great hypnotist, a master hypnotist, someone who's a master practitioner of NLP and a master practitioner of timeline therapy. Why do I say that? Because that's what I am and that's the way I was taught. And I've seen so many great results when people work with people, with those learnings and those backgrounds, those skills. And I know if you look back in the catalogue of previous episodes, I think it's called how to find a great therapist or what to expect from therapy. I don't know which one it is, but just keep googling and searching in the things. You'll find them. But go get help. Go and invest in yourself. It probably will cost you just a little bit. Doesn't mean that expensive. Don't get caught by those, and don't get caught. That, it's going to take a long, long time because this is so deep, so emotional. Now that's b's. A good therapist will help you, work with you, and help you release all that emotion and get all those learnings really quickly. And we are talking in a few number of sessions. Not years, not months, just a few sessions. All you have to do is have the will to do whatever it takes. And because you just thought about this and you. I'm still getting a bit. I am getting emotional about this. Well, I do think I need help. Go find it. Good therapists are around everywhere. You probably find you're not too far away from one yourself right now, but also you can just begin to think, well, what can I learn from this? If there was a learning to be had, what would that learning be? You see, you're opening with questions like that and asking your unconscious mind to go and delve for you. You're not thinking about the issue. you're thinking about what, can I have learned of this? What can I learn from this? What would I need to be different to be able to protect myself from doing that again? Because sometimes you might find there's, well, actually, there's a pattern here. Maybe I keep meeting the wrong person, or not the wrong person, but the wrong type of people. So what's going on? What can I learn from this? What can I do differently? How do I want to be? And when you write those things down, yeah, I know, you have to write that sucker down. We always say that because once it's on paper, it's out there. Writing is the best form of thinking, and it's still there, and you can explore. So you can put it down, go away, go for a walk, leave it for a day or two, come back, and all of a sudden the aha moment will come because your unconscious mind will have carried on thinking about it. Because you've asked real questions, good questions, not why did it happen to me? Cause you'll just come up with some wonderful, bonky negative beliefs or some excuses. Reasons are excuses, but once you start to say, how can I learn from this? What is there to learn from this? What could I do different? How could I be different? How would I like to be right now? And, write those suckers down and you'll start to learn. And when you just get one little glimpse of learning, and this is the bit I was saying, we'll come back to, you can then just notice how good it feels. Good it feels to learn one thing, let alone the whole lot. And you can feel so grateful and just feel grateful. You don't have to, if you want to, you can write it down, I feel grateful for, I'm grateful for. Or just think about it and feel how, thankful and, what thankful and grateful feels like. And just feel it intensely. Because when you feel grateful, nothing else negative can come into your mind. Nothing negative can come into your emotionally body, mind, body physiology or anything. Because you're feeling so good and grateful. And what happens is, I believe your unconscious mind then goes, do you know what? Let's do some more good stuff, because I like you now. I know what you're grateful for because that's what makes you feel good. Let's find some more learnings, or let's get you to be the way you want to be. Quicker, bigger, better, faster. Then you can start. Ah. what next? Now, when you get that, what next? There's two things I'd like to say on the what next? If you are still having problems, let me know what they are And you start to feel, I feel this good because I've learnt something and now I want to do something else or be like this or do that. But that's a bit of a jump, bit of a stretch. Let me know. Email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug, um.com and I'll come up with a process of some kind. I'll come up with a way of thinking. I'll come up with something that you could do. A real process, not just talking, but some of the talking. You know, we just reframe it and a reframe of looking for the possible positiveness, if that's a word within that, how you can use it, what you can learn can blow things out of the water completely. So, let me know. But also if you are still having some problems, let me know what they are. Or when I think about this, I still get this type of emotion, I still want you to go and get help, but if it's not big enough or you don't feel it's, well, it's not affecting my life so badly that it, you know, I think about every moment of the day or every, every day of the week or every week of the month. I just need a bit of help. Again, let me know because I'll either guide you to one of the processes within. Because I've got, by the way, if I didn't tell you before, I've got 60 plus NLP and hypnosis processes just for you and they're free, complimentary, they're bloody downloadable. I'm gonna tell you about them. right now. You see, that's what you could use, and I could guide you to one of those. I've done that before with many people that email me and I just say, well, I think this one's good for you. And, if not, we'll delve deeper. Sometimes I've created a process and done an action where, you know, I've done episodes around a particular issue and then a process and that's what it's all about. And, because you see this now, each one of those things, if I, if I come up with something for somebody, is a greatest moment from me. And that greatest moment has come from those greatest defeats where I want to think thoughtfully, help people, share people, share with people so they don't go through what I went through, or if they're in going through the type of things that I went through the ladder to get them out of the hole, the help, the hand, the understanding that you're not alone. We're here to help. I hope that sort of makes sense. But it's a great thing, isn't it? Great thing. The greatest moments did not. Oh, I'm going to repeat it again. My greatest moments did not come from my greatest moments. They came from my greatest defeats. This podcast is all about learning from your unconscious mind And you see, I made just, one thing before we close, before I close, what was this all about? And I think from my greatest defeats, it's my intention to help. To help you and to help you to get up and move on with your life, to enjoy life, to create the life that you would be so grateful for and then get it even better. And then you can show people by just being the person you want to be, being the change you want to see in yourself, which will then rep, go out there into the world and show other people that change is possible. Change can be quick, change can be comfortable, doesn't have to take years, it doesn't have to go through all agonizing emotions. Now, you don't need any of that because it's all about learning, getting your unconscious learn unconscious mind, rather to learn and then find better ways to protect you. That's all. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. There you go. Please do share this if you would. It'd be so good if you did because you would be doing the same thing that I'm doing. Just trying to help a, little bit some way, because you'll never know how far the ripples of change will go. So if you just share this to one person, that'd be awesome. And if you do, actually stumble and your finger by accident presses subscribe, that would be awesome. And if you just share the whole website, website, the whole podcast by accident, that would be awesome too. Anyway, food for thought, real food for thought. And real positive things will come from this. I know, it really will. Maybe you'll have to listen to this again and just get that paper and pencil out that puzzle book and just remember those questions. What did I learn? How can I use it in the future? How can I use it to be different? How do I want to be? Great questions. And, from great questions, your unconscious mind will provide you with great answers to find your greatest moments. And just think, now you are. If you do this, you're sowing the seed, building the foundations for your next greatest moment that you don't know what it is yet. Now isn't that exciting? Yeah. Okay, my friend, I'm gonna leave you with that. It's time to fly. It's time to have more fun than you can withstand in any moment. More fun than you can stand. And if you are new to this, at the end of flying away, there'll be a little bit of what this podcast is all about. A little bit about me. Okay? So until the next time, my friend, enjoy and fly one. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]