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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Andrew Santino Returns!

14 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 11.392 H. Foley

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if they grew up to be classy.

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11.412 - 11.512 Unknown

Yeah.

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11.532 - 26.197 H. Foley

They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Hollywood Hank Foley, coming at you, West Hollywood, here in Los Angeles, California. And Toadie's back in Philly, and from the American Express statement, She's with a couple of Coors Light party balls.

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26.818 - 27.739 Andrew Santino

Okay, respect it.

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27.759 - 37.649 H. Foley

My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage, bit of an international businessman, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan.

38.209 - 55.754 Andrew Santino

Hey, what's up, everybody? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the frigging charts. Woo! And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.

55.794 - 58.981 Unknown

You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

59.082 - 76.174 H. Foley

That's right, gang. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. It's been a minute. Last time we had him on the pod, we were also out here in Hollywood. Uh-huh. All right. His meteoric rise continues. He's one of our aces in the industry. One of the best. You know him on Bad Friends.

76.194 - 85.746 H. Foley

You know him on Whiskey Ginger and just about everywhere else. Give it up for that Andrew Santino, everybody. Hey, good-looking kid. Look at you. I'm the ace, huh? Top gun. I'm an ace.

Chapter 2: Who is Andrew Santino and what are his accomplishments?

106.63 - 113.297 Kevin Ryan

Full blackface. Yeah. Full blackface. Black hands to black arm. You can't just stop at the face. I think it's funny if you don't. You know what I mean?

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113.357 - 121.745 H. Foley

If you don't, if you have the white hands, it's way funnier to me. Didn't work that much after that, Mr. C. Thomas Howell. Yeah. What happened? I don't know. Shout out to him. He's probably a good guy.

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122.566 - 123.947 Kevin Ryan

He lives in this neighborhood, by the way.

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123.927 - 151.318 Kevin Ryan

there's no doubt in my mind this is this is this is who lives over here oh really hollywood yeah this is old hollywood west hollywood is old hollywood this is where like all the tv stars that you know from your childhood this is where they live really 100 this or far out east but this is west hollywood like these old bungalows and all that stuff on the block this is kind of their secret little so i could run into the guy that plays howland mad murdoch and the a-team he's next door he's right on sierra bonita he's right there dude i've seen him but you know what did you say his name

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151.298 - 155.703 Kevin Ryan

No, I said he's on Sierra Bonita. The street. We don't know any streets.

155.723 - 156.865 H. Foley

I know. That's why I said it.

157.405 - 161.871 Kevin Ryan

He's like, that's his name? Like right on La Cucamonga Boulevard. Hey, careful.

161.891 - 162.512 H. Foley

Over by Air One Avenue.

162.532 - 168.219 Kevin Ryan

Careful. No, that's Ice Avenue now. We've renamed it. Santa Monica's Ice Ave. Yeah. That's how they get you.

Chapter 3: What are the comedic insights shared about moving and helping friends?

643.345 - 653.701 Kevin Ryan

Could have been. See, that is a good move. It is crossing a massive line. But yeah, that's a good move. I didn't say it was a good move. I just said it was. That's insane. Kissing a random woman.

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653.722 - 661.996 Andrew Santino

That was wild. Dude, this is like... It was a different time. Yeah, I know. It was when you could still be at a bar and just, like, you could still beat up a minority. Nobody complained about it.

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662.016 - 672.835 Kevin Ryan

You know, the good old days. Yeah. No, you know what? It's the negging. That's what it is. It is. When you're being mean. That was the old days of, like, negging. What was the guy that wrote the book about being mean to girls?

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672.935 - 673.356 Andrew Santino

Mystery.

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673.677 - 675.279 Kevin Ryan

No, no, no. No, no, no.

675.32 - 676.542 Andrew Santino

But he's big in our world.

676.662 - 686.915 Kevin Ryan

The game. It's called The Game. Oh, I don't know. Do you know what I'm talking about? He wrote a book. My roommate, my first roommate in LA, read this book. It transformed his entire life. What a scumbag, Steve.

686.935 - 689.058 Unknown

Is it called The Game? Am I right? By Neil Strauss.

689.098 - 697.568 Kevin Ryan

Neil Strauss, exactly. He wrote this entire book. They made a TV show about it. It's basically about... Not the Michael Douglas vehicle, right? That's not... Right, no.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about cooking and ordering food?

806.286 - 808.27 Andrew Santino

Or do you go like, get the fucking this? No.

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808.37 - 824.476 Kevin Ryan

We get as much as we can. And then you have leftovers for the next few days. You do the leftovers. I'm a huge leftover guy. I'm an Irish Catholic. My grandmother had stuff that expired seven years ago in her fridge and we'd still eat it. My grandmother refused to throw shit away. That was like insane. She raised 10 kids. Nothing was going to waste.

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824.816 - 829.423 Kevin Ryan

So we were big leftover family and I know people that don't eat it. It doesn't bother me at all.

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829.443 - 833.91 H. Foley

My mom rolls the dice on Chobani very heavy. She has a lot of faith.

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833.93 - 836.695 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, it's already gone bad.

836.715 - 838.317 H. Foley

A lot of faith.

838.347 - 854.976 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, but I see that stuff. The only thing that would bother me that would go potentially bad would be like when milk flips, you know, and you're like, all right, that flipped. But I will sometimes. Whole neighborhood knows. You know when milk's right on the edge? Yeah. Like before it transitions. It's a little better. What, milk? Oh, right there. A day or two after expiration.

854.996 - 858.061 Kevin Ryan

When milk is pre-op, when it's a pre-op, you're like, uh-oh. It's all right.

858.081 - 858.702 Unknown

It hasn't transitioned yet.

Chapter 5: What humorous dental experiences does Andrew share?

2597.096 - 2608.729 H. Foley

Get that on couchy. I would have taken the over. Get it on couchy. Live betting on your teeth. I'm missing three over here, one over here. From what? Lacrosse balls. That's what he tells people. That's what I tell people.

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2608.789 - 2621.846 Kevin Ryan

The three of them were bad root canals that went bad. I had one that was bad. And also, every time I go to a dentist, they ask me to get out my wisdom. Mine are in there, too. I got them all. I got them all, and I refuse. Is it a health concern? They were like, no. I'm like, well, then what's the problem?

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2621.926 - 2628.294 H. Foley

They're trying to upsell you. I know. You're sore every once in a while when it creeps in a little bit. Mine, one up here, creeps in. They're not growing anymore.

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2628.354 - 2629.556 Kevin Ryan

You're old.

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2629.616 - 2632.079 H. Foley

It's over. No, mine's still going in. Really? I swear to God.

2632.099 - 2635.404 Kevin Ryan

You're a growing boy. There. Yeah. Well, wait till you hit your growth spurt.

2635.845 - 2638.228 H. Foley

It's coming. Play college basketball.

2638.268 - 2639.27 Kevin Ryan

Are you still eligible?

Chapter 6: How do the comedians feel about cutting burgers?

2639.991 - 2642.455 H. Foley

Yes. I have two years eligibility. Let's get you back.

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2642.495 - 2648.584 Kevin Ryan

This is the college sports I want to see. Him going back to play two years. Where are those teams? That's more fun. That's a last chance.

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2648.604 - 2649.345 Andrew Santino

That was a good movie.

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2649.986 - 2650.607 Kevin Ryan

Last chance you?

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2651.047 - 2652.469 Andrew Santino

Yeah, it was a while ago.

2652.69 - 2654.252 H. Foley

I know. Not the replacements.

2654.232 - 2656.596 Andrew Santino

No, he was the... Was it Scott Baio?

2657.036 - 2658.599 Kevin Ryan

Longest Yard was kind of like that, right?

2658.679 - 2661.924 Andrew Santino

Yes. Oh, Necessary Roughness. Right.

Chapter 7: What are the best and worst fries according to the hosts?

2683.516 - 2689.108 H. Foley

That's the guy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, right? That's Dracula. Scott Bakula? No.

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2689.248 - 2695.726 Kevin Ryan

Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap? His dad is a newscaster in Philly? No, the kid that plays.

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2695.746 - 2697.467 H. Foley

The kid from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

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2697.487 - 2699.109 Andrew Santino

We entered what we just call Foleyville.

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2699.149 - 2709.638 H. Foley

We're down there. The kid that was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer that got his own show, his dad is a newscaster in Philadelphia. Scott Bakula is from fucking. He's old. This is an old movie. Is it? Yeah, dude.

2709.658 - 2711.039 Andrew Santino

It's from like 92 probably.

2711.079 - 2712.441 H. Foley

Okay, then it's probably Scott Bakula.

2712.901 - 2714.582 Andrew Santino

From Quantum Leap. Dude, he's looking at the internet.

2714.623 - 2715.263 H. Foley

It's Scott Bakula.

Chapter 8: What unique preferences do they have for movie snacks?

2726.175 - 2743.802 H. Foley

Spoiler, dude. About the burger. Yeah. You're having a hamburger. Okay. Take a bite of it. You put it back on the plate. Are you putting it upside down on the plate or are you putting it normal side down on the plate? Like a backhoe.

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2743.902 - 2753.376 Kevin Ryan

A Scott Bakula burger. How do you put the burger back? I heard about that in Mexico. Most of the time, I imagine I put it down regular the way it came. Right. But I'm thinking about it now. Have I done it the other way?

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2753.597 - 2759.406 Andrew Santino

And I know I have. If you have a brioche and it's a juicy burger, you don't want the bottom to get too thin and flimsy.

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2759.426 - 2773.188 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, I do think maybe sometimes I do, but it depends on the accoutrement. Are the fries on my plate or are they separate in a basket? What do you prefer? Separate in a basket. Is that right? I'll tell you why. Fries are for the table. And so I'd like to get two or three different kinds of fries. Right.

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2773.208 - 2786.825 Kevin Ryan

If I get my own fries with the burger, she gets sometimes drenched in the burger juice, which is nice, but also fries over the table. And I know they'll have garlic parm fries. They'll have like a regular, they'll have a, I like the different variations. I get all the kinds of fries for the whole table.

2786.906 - 2788.908 Andrew Santino

Garlic parm fries are the trashiest fries.

2788.928 - 2790.831 Kevin Ryan

Yeah. They're the trashiest, but I do like them. Yeah.

2790.931 - 2792.813 H. Foley

Trashiest fries are truffle oil fries.

2792.793 - 2813.014 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, well, they over trough them. They put too much trough. The king of all of the potatoes is the tater tot. There's no doubt in my mind. If they have tater tots, I'm totting over every kind of fry you've got. And the only fry that can compete is a curly fry, but that has to be from Arby's because nobody does it like Arby's. Arby's is the best curly fry that's ever been produced.

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