Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Christina P! You know Christina Pazsitzky from stand up comedy, Your Mom's House w/ Tom Segura, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, TigerBelly, Where My Mom's At?, The Tim Dillon Show, 2 Bears 1 Cave, First Date with Lauren Compton and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Tushy: 10% off your first bidet order at https://HelloTUSHY.com with promo code GARBAGE Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Pretty Litter: Go to https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy. Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code GARBAGE at https://shopmando.com! Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
keppy you see this we got this route 66 special dropping you ain't lying big man we got the live shows from every city on the tour plus the boys on the bus see in this great country of ours it's dropping february 25th on our youtube page make sure you tune in to the live premiere welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're going to be classy.
Yeah.
Or they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Lilly, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here in Tejas. Texas, baby. Austin D. Tootie South. She's out doing a little speculating.
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Chapter 2: What are some funny stories about Christina P's childhood?
Sure.
And then I just put like four Band-Aids, like regular sized. Uh-huh. And then they just bled through.
Try to get creative with the Band-Aids. Those never, when you're doing the four one way, three the other. You're reinforcing them and stuff like that.
You need some cause, though. You know, you need medical attention. I know. That's what you need. Not more Band-Aids. I know. It's never more band-aids.
You got to the ER. Who put these six Garfield band-aids on you?
But that's my stupid Polack brain. It's like, I'll just put on like six band-aids. I'll be fine.
You know what you needed was a butterfly. Oh, shit. Remember that in the day your mom would break out a butterfly on you? Yeah. She was like a fucking cardiac surgeon doing that shit.
No, we didn't have that. Band-aid is weakness. That's what I'm telling you.
Did you have health insurance growing up? Such a good question. In 400 episodes, I've never had to ask it, but I feel like it might. If you have health insurance now, let's start there.
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Chapter 3: What was Christina's experience growing up in a mixed family?
Same school.
You got to change schools.
Same school.
Okay, so no friction there.
No, same school, but that's a level of, like, I remember watching Pippi Longstocking and she cuts her spaghetti with scissors. Like, I was doing that and thinking it was fun and eating Chef Boyardee out of cans. Dressing like Punky Brewster running around. Oh, for sure, yeah.
Shout out to Punky Brewster. Were you left to make your own food most of the time? Yes. Is he coming home from the forklift factory and cooking? That ain't happening.
No, I'm not cooking. So we're talking... Okay, let's talk about Tushy, baby. Shout out to Tushy. Gang, what are you doing? Still wiping your ass like a caveman? Do yourself a favor. Get the world's number one bidet. I'm talking about Tushy.
You'll have an asshole clean as a whistle. Big man ain't lying. They're easy to install. They were nice enough to send them to us. We got them installed out there in tooties. You can eat off this thing. Oh, man, you sit down and I tell you, it's like a little slice of heaven, gang. Let me tell you something. Well, foreplay.
It's one of those things where you're like, I didn't know I was walking around like a proper... Homeless person.
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Chapter 4: How did Christina get into stand-up comedy?
Yeah, I like it's like I walk into a dive bar and it's like I can tell right away if the if the coke's good.
Yeah. Not the drugs. Did you grow up in bars?
Grew up and hanging out in bars, eating chicken fingers at the bar, playing the photo hunt. My dad, I mean, my whole family's alcoholic. So am I. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just who we are.
Yeah.
Just Irish drunk construction workers.
Yeah. I stopped drinking alcohol after like 60 days ago. It's horrible. But anyway, the point is... Okay, Beef and Barrel. I have the best memories of it, though, because it was the 80s. And the music was amazing. So everybody's like, the 80s were the best. I'm like, yes, they were. It was Duran Duran. It was Lionel Richie. It was Frankie Goes to Hollywood. It was...
You know, and I have this great memory of dancing with sailors. There were sailors in their outfits.
Wait, in third grade?
Third grade. They had just come off whatever break, and they were on the dance floor with me. And they were like, I'm this novelty. I'm this little girl.
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