Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show where you sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She just got her first shipment of venison in. Okay. Okay. A little chewy. Okay. A little late in the season, I feel. Venison sushi? Shit. Come on.
Okay.
That's six hours down the drain. My coach is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby. And the boys are in the middle of the charts. Right where we want to be. I ain't at the top of the charts. I ain't showing off. Meaty part of the curve. That's where the boys belong. then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. Check it out. Check it out, gang.
And we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. As I say, family at this point. One of the funniest, one of the most talented comedians out there in the whole goddamn universe, despite his misdirected fandom. for the San Francisco 49ers.
Can't be perfect. Mr. Dan Soder, everybody. I also think, at this point, it's just been established I'm garbage. This is just to go back to find the degree. This is like when you go back to Chernobyl to find out how bad it was. We're carbonating it.
We're just having fun now. There's doctors up in a balcony looking down at you.
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Chapter 2: What food experiences are shared in the podcast?
I'll tell you, I start every diner meal. Hit us. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Cup of coffee. Cup of coffee. Goddamn gentleman. Bring the coffee.
The older I get, the more I appreciate coffee with non-breakfast food. It's great. It's great. Pits. Coffee in a turkey club?
Ooh.
What are you doing?
But I do this.
I got a case to solve.
I'll do the coffee, order the food, get a drink with the food. Of course. And then refresh the coffee when I'm done with the food.
This is what we're getting into. What is that drink? Oh, it's changed. What is it at breakfast? What's the beverage order at breakfast?
Breakfast is going to sound crazy. It's because I grew up drinking it. Cranberry juice.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about diner culture?
Well, we're- That wasn't cheap. It's like cigarettes. It's like finding your brand of cigarettes. Sure. You start somewhere, you move a little, you move a little bit. So I started orange juice, as we all do. Then I was a big cran- Apple guy. I was going to ask you. Did you get into the confusions? Crayon Apple was the first one. Unbelievable. It's still good. Unbelievable. And then Crayon Berry.
I mean, Crayon, what's the other one?
Crayon Grape. Crayon Grape. There's also Crayon Raspberry.
Crayon Raspberry, I don't know if the check was there yet. Really? Yeah. We're living out a Regan bit. And then I said, I started talking like Regan.
We got Apple, Crayon Apple. We got Grape, Crayon Grape.
That's genius, though. Take it easy. This is why he's a genius.
That's why he's so good.
But then I eventually was like, no, I put all childish things away. Sure.
And I just went back to the meat. Became an adult.
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Chapter 4: What are the hosts' thoughts on breakfast beverages?
You got enough childish things, but you got to man up. You got to man up on some stuff.
You got to man it up. Picking juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cranberry juice is where I settled. And I loved it. Ocean spray cranberry juice. Then became my, like, drink habit. But then at the diner, when I got the coffee, and I got the, especially breakfast, big plate of eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon. Why don't you give me a jouisse of some sort? No fruit. Oh, gee. Yeah.
I just take it three fingers of cranberry. Neat. Ice, cranberry. Cranberry, neat. I'll go no ice. What? Well. Not warm. No. I won't go warm. Yeah, I got to poo.
Hey, is your cranberry chilled by any chance?
I'm sorry. Do you have room temperature cranberry? Shaken, that's true. My friend, this is a diner. You need a job?
Give you a job.
Okay, you are crazy. No crazy people here. I will. There's nothing better to me than having an ocean spray cranberry thing in the refrigerator. The big-ass bottle.
The grip on that's great.
Trish, you better have a cranberry juice at the house.
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Chapter 5: What humorous experiences do comedians share about ordering food in restaurants?
It just absorbs. Okay, you whispered that.
Hey, can I get some ramen noodles? And they go, are you out of your fucking mind? Who told you that?
Your cousin did? Oh, your cousin. Steve is your cousin? I don't know rules. Like, whenever I go to a restaurant where I don't speak, like,
Chapter 6: How do comedians feel about coffee and its effects on their anxiety?
I was going to say you don't speak the language.
But I'm serious. If you go to like a good, like there's a great Mexican restaurant in Tucson called Rosa's. And English isn't the first language spoke there. They just go, we're so good, we don't have to speak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I respect. And then I go, I kind of need this done. And that's when you feel like very white. Hello. Hi. I don't want, no frijoles. No beans. No caliente.
Shut the fuck up. So that's why, I don't know. It is a weird dance. Coffee pot on the table. You have a booger on your nose. Did you go swimming today? The booger is across your face.
Chapter 7: What nostalgic memories do comedians have about flea markets?
I just can't do the pot of coffee makes me feel anxious like I need to drink more coffee.
I get that.
That sounds like a you problem, though. It might be. It might be. But if I go to the diner, why don't you refresh it? And they go, refresh your coffee? You go, you were thinking about me.
As a former server, you have me there.
That's a great point. Yeah, you just go, all right.
It is a nice break in the conversation. It's a nice.
It's a check point. It's like a nice, yeah. Can I get some ranch for this? Oh, yeah. It's good rhythm. Yeah.
I never got my cranberry. Oh. Ooh. Is there ever a situation where, what is your, do you drink it black or do you put a little cream in it? A little cream. So do you like to get it all the way down, or will you take a topper?
I want to kill it. You want to kill it. And then I need you to refill it. Really? If I got a half, don't, because now we're getting into the mathematics of the half and half. I know standard size diner mug, two half and halves, two little creamers.
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Chapter 8: What dangerous items have comedians bought at flea markets?
Coffee, ice cream, forget it.
Can I tell you, around the holidays, I go back to cream and sugar. I had one this morning at Dunkin' Donuts. Three creams, two sugars. What size is that? Medium. Okay. Holy shit.
Phenomenal. That's like a jolt cola.
It was great, though. I was fist fighting my therapist. I came in like I was on meth.
Dude, I used to.
I don't want to talk about you being such a pussy. I don't want to talk about you being a pussy. You want to judge me about crying about my dad? Fight me, you old Jew. Is it Alan? Yeah. He's like, all right. Good. I'll fight you. You, you're a pussy. He called me a pussy when I wouldn't quit drinking.
It's awesome.
Straight shooter. I love it. It's like, you're a fucking pussy. And you go, I love you. You give him a hug.
You're my new dad. You're my new dad. You're my new dad.
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