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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Bad Dates II

10 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the hosts' thoughts on bad dates?

0.537 - 12.462 Dax Shepard

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Padman. Today we have, tell us about a really bad diet. There's a lot of bad dates out there.

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12.482 - 15.925 Monica Padman

There really are. There are a lot more bad dates than good ones.

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16.386 - 17.867 Dax Shepard

I don't know. I don't have the data on that.

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18.067 - 18.428 Monica Padman

There are.

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18.748 - 27.877 Dax Shepard

I can only speak anecdotally. I've had mostly only good dates. I mean, definitely if I add up the bad experiences versus good, it's very, very positive.

27.897 - 32.482 Monica Padman

No, but you can't include dates with the partners. This is dates.

32.642 - 34.484 Dax Shepard

Well, they started as dates, no?

34.544 - 39.529 Monica Padman

You can count those. Yeah. But you can't count once you guys are together.

39.949 - 47.03 Dax Shepard

Yeah. I'm just saying I've been out with people. For the most part, it's been fun. It doesn't mean I, like, want to go the distance with them.

Chapter 2: What was the first caller's bad date experience?

165.649 - 166.992 Unknown

Benton Harbor was my wedding, too.

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167.392 - 171.22 Dax Shepard

Oh, Wabiwab got married in Benton Harbor. And they're still together.

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171.28 - 172.362 Bailey

That's amazing. I love it.

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174.365 - 178.653 Dax Shepard

Okay, so you're a Michiganite and you've stayed and you're in Grand Rapids. You're in the big city.

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178.673 - 179.976 Bailey

Yes, I love Michigan.

180.116 - 182.2 Dax Shepard

We're closing in on when it's really good.

182.18 - 187.029 Bailey

Yes, it's about 55 degrees right now and sunny. So we're all loving it.

187.049 - 191.959 Dax Shepard

Lovely. OK, so you have a bad date or had a bad date or maybe you've had many bad days.

191.979 - 193.502 Bailey

Are you on a bad day right now?

Chapter 3: How did the second caller's date go wrong?

445.834 - 448.177 Dax Shepard

You could blow with your mouth.

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0

448.397 - 450.701 Dax Shepard

I've done some tickling with just air. You could air tickles.

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450.881 - 451.983 Bailey

There was a couple of loopholes.

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452.003 - 457.11 Dax Shepard

What if he wrote air tickles? No air. Let me add it.

457.09 - 462.857 Bailey

I've never had anyone physically write them down and read them to me like that. So that was off-putting.

463.058 - 465.821 Dax Shepard

Yeah, it's almost like he wanted you to sign it like it was a contract.

465.841 - 488.625 Bailey

Right. So we had the movies afterwards. At that point, I was feeling like, oh my gosh, like I do not want to go. But I was 21. I was a people pleaser. He already bought the tickets. And I was like, it's two hours in the dark. I know he's not going to touch me. So it's fine. I was like, whatever. It's two hours. We were going to see Aladdin, the live action that came out.

488.886 - 491.012 Bailey

So I was like, it'll be an enjoyable film.

Chapter 4: What unusual behavior did the second caller's date exhibit?

691.007 - 699.463 Bailey

No, absolutely not. And I said, my mom's calling me. I got in my car and I drove off and I cried.

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699.844 - 705.434 Monica Padman

Oh, yeah. It's kind of a stressful two hour. It feels really uncomfortable.

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705.594 - 707.518 Dax Shepard

Yeah. The screensaver makes it feel unsafe.

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707.498 - 727.662 Bailey

If it was just the other things of him being just a little weird, we've all met some weird people before. But now that I've worked around a lot of neurodivergent students and things, I'm like, oh, that I think is where it's at. So I kind of have a little bit more compassion for him now. He is married. Oh, thank God.

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727.722 - 728.183 Dax Shepard

Great.

728.463 - 734.991 Bailey

I hope that he's found his perfect match. It just was not me. And I hope he's matured.

734.971 - 737.996 Dax Shepard

Was he able to drop the whole thing or did he keep reaching out?

738.277 - 752.541 Bailey

He was able to drop it. As soon as I got home, I sent him this long thing about how it was really nice getting to know him. I just don't think it's going to work. I don't see anything. And then he said, OK, it was great. I hope God blesses you in your life. And then that was it.

752.521 - 770.209 Dax Shepard

So the first part, it's hard to relate to. And then the second part is hard to relate to because, again, in my mind, it's like, well, it takes me a lot to fall in love with somebody. And then conversely, if I'm in love with somebody, I also can't be over it in five seconds. So it's like both sides of it are different, I think.

Chapter 5: What was the awkward moment involving a list on the first date?

853.339 - 854.442 Monica Padman

Oh, that's so sweet.

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854.463 - 855.867 Bailey

What a nice shout out.

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856.066 - 859.449 Dax Shepard

It's you and nurses tied for the best people on the planet, really.

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859.569 - 881.949 Bailey

That's right. Thank you. And I love your podcast. I've listened to it for many years. And even though I'm a Christian and I disagree with you on some things, I love that you have such an open dialogue about it and are able to listen to different people's perspectives. And I think that that's a really amazing trait to have. So I don't feel alienated.

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881.989 - 888.436 Bailey

And even though we don't share the same beliefs, I feel like I can still connect. and learn a lot from your podcast.

888.557 - 899.977 Dax Shepard

I appreciate that Bailey, because your experience on planet earth is just as valid as mine. I'm just having one. You're having one. I'm curious about yours. It's not mine. I'm delighted to hear that. Thank you.

900.237 - 901.139 Bailey

Thank you so much.

901.239 - 901.499 Dax Shepard

All right.

901.52 - 903.663 Bailey

Have a great rest of your day. You too.

Chapter 6: How did the second caller feel during the movie date?

1086.337 - 1089.381 Dax Shepard

Oh, God, feels great. Okay, so Bailey, you had a bad date.

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1089.962 - 1094.107 Grace

Yes, and this happens in Austin. I've lived in a lot of places.

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1094.407 - 1096.109 Dax Shepard

Austin was one I was debating, by the way.

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1096.27 - 1115.695 Grace

Yeah, so it was 2018. I had also just moved there for work. Really didn't know anybody. It was like, okay, what's the best way to meet people in a city? Dating apps. So I was there for like maybe three weeks at this point. And it was the first person that I had matched with. Just like started as meeting at a bar, had a few drinks.

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1115.855 - 1117.076 Dax Shepard

Can I ask what app you were using?

1117.096 - 1132.398 Grace

I think it was Bumble. So yeah, we were just at a bar, had a few drinks. He was cute. He was like a little awkward. You know, it's the first date. Give him the benefit of the doubt. And I was explaining that I was new to the area. Did he have any recommendations for things to do, places to see? And he was from Austin.

1132.818 - 1149.306 Grace

And he said, oh, there's a really cool lookout spot of the city to see the city skyline. We're really close. Do you want to go check it out? I'm a cautious person. It sounds bad. It sounds really bad. I was like, maybe I shouldn't go to a second location on a first date. But I was like trying to be more spontaneous. You know, the city...

1149.286 - 1150.528 Dax Shepard

And Elsa's got a vibe.

1150.768 - 1178.247 Grace

It does. And he was giving off a good vibe. And so he said, we're really close. I have my car. I can drive us there. So we get in the car and it's like five, 10, 15, 20 minutes. I don't know where anything is in the city. Like what would make sense? So we pull off into like a residential neighborhood and he's like, okay, we need to walk on a bit of a trailhead to get to this lookout spot.

Chapter 7: What happened when the second caller tried to leave the date?

1364.051 - 1371.162 Grace

We'll hang out later. Trying to appease the situation. He's like, no, I'm a gentleman and I walk all my dates to the door.

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1371.142 - 1372.424 Dax Shepard

Oh, I hate this guy so much.

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1373.065 - 1398.924 Grace

I can't stand him. I was like, no, I'm fine. I don't need to be walked to the door. He was like, no, I insist. So he's then walks to my door and he was like, give me a kiss. Good night. I'll be on my way. So I did. It was gross. And then I go to open my door and he follows me. He forces his way in behind me. You know, I was freaking out. I was in danger. And I was like, can you leave?

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1398.964 - 1418.152 Grace

I'm tired, please. I want to go to bed. We'll hang out next weekend. And he just said that he was drunk and needed to sleep it off on the couch. So he went and did that. He passed out on my couch. And I go and I lock myself in my bedroom. And I'm so embarrassed that I let it get to this point that I didn't want to call anyone.

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1418.473 - 1423.92 Dax Shepard

Oh, man. This is so unfair. This is like when people don't report getting scammed.

1424 - 1428.386 Monica Padman

Yeah. There's like shame, even though there should absolutely not be.

1428.406 - 1442.824 Grace

Yeah. So and I didn't really know a lot of people. I have close friends. I was like, do I call the police? I ended up just staying up all night in my room alert. And he eventually left. Like I heard the door closed and I just like got up and locked the door.

1442.844 - 1445.968 Tabitha

Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh.

1445.999 - 1453.729 Grace

And the craziest thing to me, the whole situation is the next day he texts me like I had an awesome time. Let's hang out again.

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