Armchair Anonymous: Cruise Ship
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What are the stories shared about cruise ships?
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard and this is Monica Padman.
Hi.
Hello. Today is cruise ships.
Oof. Didn't make me want to go on a cruise, I'll tell you that.
I know. We should have almost called Laura LeBeau as an antidote because she just went on a Viking cruise.
And she loved it.
At the time of her life.
Oh, good. My parents have gone on a couple and they love it.
She said she's not going to do any other cruise line, though, after this experience. She said the food was absolutely, outrageously good. Yeah, this one, this one you can listen to, I think.
You can listen to this one.
Oh, no. Yeah, there's stuff. Chemical cauterization.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but no, no, well, whatever. Well, there's fluids. I don't know.
There's fluids.
Yeah. All right, please enjoy cruise ship stories.
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What led Hal to go on a cruise despite being sick?
Hello, Hal.
Hello. It's nice to meet you.
Is that your lover's blouse behind you or yours? Is it birds or flowers on the sleeves?
It is my wife's. We are in my daughter's closet. You guys did the impossible. You got my daughter to clean up her closet.
Oh, wow.
Just so I can talk to you.
Well, you're welcome, I guess, because that's an impossible task.
It is an impossible task, as you probably know that.
Yes. How old is your daughter?
I have two, just like you. I've got a ninth grader and a seventh grader, so I'm a couple of years ahead of you.
Oh, yeah. Things are getting real busy.
They are. Where are you at, Hal? I am in Lloyd Harbor, New York. It's on Long Island. Oh, how far from the city? About 40 miles or so.
If you want to go to like Montauk, how long of a trip is that for you?
I'm on the north shore of Long Island. Montauk's on the south and all the way out east. So it's a good hour and a half, two hours from here.
That's not bad, though. You're two hours from paradise.
Exactly. Although I'd say where we are is pretty Edenic as well.
Edenic? I like that. Wow, that's a takeoff on Eden? Yeah. Did you know it, Monica?
I don't think I've heard it, no.
Edenic.
That's a good vocab word.
That's going in my arsenal. Okay, so you have a crazy cruise ship story. I do. Can I set the stage a little bit first?
Oh, you can set the fuck out of the stage, Hal. All right. This is about 2002. I'm a couple years younger than you, Dax, but basically the same age. I was in law school. It's our second year. And if you know anything about how law school works, after your first year, which is super intense, you try and get an internship in the fall of that year for the following summer. And so my friends and I, we all got our internships. So this was spring break of our second year of law school. And we're feeling pretty good. We're less stressed. We want to blow it out. So we book a cruise and it's for spring break. So it's on a party cruise line. For me, this is a big deal. I didn't get to go on many vacations growing up. I was on loans.
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