Armchair Anonymous: I Quit

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard 39 min 8 speakers 3 chapters transcribed
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What is the theme of Armchair Anonymous: I Quit?

Dax Shepard 0:00
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by Lily Padman.
Monica Padman 0:18
Hi.
Dax Shepard 0:19
Today's Armchair Anonymous prompt was, I quit. Tell us a crazy I quit story. Now, guess what? You can finally listen to this one.
Monica Padman 0:30
Oh, good.
Dax Shepard 0:31
Yeah, you can listen to this one. There's, let me hold on, Heidi. Well, yeah. Yeah, there is some, I guess, light animal cruelty, but the animal's dead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So other than that, I think you're free to listen. Please enjoy I Quit.
Unknown Speaker 0:46
Hard times come and go Good times take them slow Hi.
Dax Shepard 1:09
What a beautiful, robust set of headphones you're wearing.
Kaylee 1:12
And the wall, is it plaster?
Dax Shepard 1:14
No, that's a sheet.
Kaylee 1:15
Oh. I'm a labor and delivery nurse. My supervisor is a huge arm cherry and she pulled out like a baby warmer in one of our closets and used foam surgical tape and taped up all these. Oh my goodness.
Dax Shepard 1:29
What's your boss's name?
Kaylee 1:30
Scotty.
Dax Shepard 1:31
Big props and shout outs and thank yous to Scotty. Okay, Kaylee, what did you quit?
Kaylee 1:36
I quit a job at a wildlife agency. So I live in Idaho. My freshman year of college, I applied for my dream job, which was on a snorkel crew. So it was for a summer. It was in rivers. And so we would have like these different sites that we would snorkel to and we would count fish. So like count different kinds of trout and see if there's juveniles, adults. And then we would also check up on people fishing and see like if they were catching salmon. It's what I was going to school for, which was wildlife biology. We camped the whole summer together. It was just me and one other girl. The rest were older dudes. And so of course I'm 19 and have like a huge crush on one of the like leads of the crew. Each day we had split into groups of two.
Kaylee 2:27
And so, of course, I volunteer to go with the guy I have a crush on. This is hot.
Dax Shepard 2:33
Let's call him Greg.
Kaylee 2:33
He needs a name that's kind of like a hot mess.
Dax Shepard 2:36
Trevor.
Kaylee 2:37
Oh, Trevor. Trevor is great. I volunteer to go with Trevor. So we're going down like these back roads and going way too fast. Trevor. He's wild. Unfortunately, we're listening to My Dick by Mickey Avalon. He is driving. He leans down to grab our radio to call out. And he loses control of the vehicle and it hits the gravel. He overcorrects, hits the guardrail.
Dax Shepard 3:03
Oh boy.
Kaylee 3:05
And we're probably going like 60 miles per hour. And we're in a brand new Yukon.
Dax Shepard 3:10
Oh no, those are gorgeous.
Kaylee 3:12
I know in a company vehicle, it hits the guardrail and we roll three times. Oh my God. Airbags, everything shatters. We have a ton of equipment. Everything's going out the windows. It's wild. I'm being suspended because the truck landed where I'm on the... So I'm like hanging over and I can't open the door because it's so heavy above us. He's trapped. He can't get out either. But there was a fish trap like across the road and someone was there and heard us. Ran across, got us out and took us to a very, very small place. hospital there if you can call it a hospital where our crew meets up with us and they're cutting my clothes off in front of my crew and I am like probably 10 years younger than everyone oh god this is not what I was going for so luckily he was fine I mean maybe luckily he
Dax Shepard 4:10
Yeah, I wouldn't mind if he had a broken arm or something, to be honest.
Kaylee 4:13
So I just have like a shoulder strain, but they put me in a sling so I couldn't drive home. So I had to call my mom.
Dax Shepard 4:22
Oh no, from your first job?
Kaylee 4:24
She drives three hours, comes and picks me up, go home, and I take 13 days off to just recover my shoulder. And so they put me on like muscle relaxers. This whole time I'm home, I have horrible diarrhea. Oh, okay. All day, every day. And my mom's like, something is very wrong. So I went to the doctor and I got Giardia.
Unknown Speaker 4:48
Giardia? What's that? How'd you get that?
Kaylee 4:50
So it's a parasite that you get from dirty water.
Monica Padman 4:53
Necrotic flesh? No, no, no, different. We just had another necrotic flesh.

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