Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us a crazy story.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is the main theme of Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VI?
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.
Hi, wild.
Wild card. I'm enjoying making that noise today. Do you think it's a good?
It does sound good.
Much better than my spitting. Remember when I was fake spitting?
Oh, yeah.
People did not like that.
Misophonia?
Yeah, I guess it was that or adjacent. Or just disgusted with spitting as you are. You've really got in my craw, I gotta mention.
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Chapter 2: What funny stories are shared in this episode?
Okay, but listen.
Okay.
My argument isn't then to put boogers all over the street where other people are walking or put them on people's shirts.
Maybe I should carry a wine silk or whatever. What are those little bags that you put wine in? Yeah.
To put your loogies in?
All I'm saying is if we agree that boogers should leave your body and not be put back in your body, why not the boogers that's coming from your... Get them out of there too.
I know. Look, I understand.
You got to meet me in the middle here.
I understand what you're saying, but you cannot spit. You can. You can spit it all over the street, but I'm going to be disgusted by you.
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Chapter 3: How does Kyle's jellyfish encounter unfold?
Your guard was down. Correct.
Correct. So I go about my day and she goes upstairs and talks to her father, who is also working from home. That's all I know about that. Later, she goes off, goes to the lake with this boy who's visiting his grandma. And my husband calls me and he says... You know, that whole thing with the boy and the coffee. When she came upstairs, I looked outside. There was a boy walking down the driveway.
I said, who is that? She goes, oh, that's that boy. He brought me coffee. He goes, that didn't sit well because last night I heard a noise. It was like 2 a.m. He went downstairs to check on the girls and he goes to the door and he tries to open it. It's locked. He knocks on the door and she comes out. She goes, what, Papa? What?
We'll come back.
It's 2 a.m. Why is your door locked? She goes, oh, we stayed up watching TV. I don't know. Oh, that makes no sense. Okay. None of this is fitting. So I call her and I say, where are you? And she goes, I'm at the lake. And I said, so last night's thing, Papa came into your room, the boy at the coffee, something feels wrong. And she goes, no, nothing's wrong.
I'm like, if there's anything wrong, now's the time to tell me. And she says, I got nothing.
are you sure she goes have i ever given you any reason not to trust me okay she was desperate she was desperate and i go no you haven't and i want to think everything's fine sure yes exactly so can he come over for dinner yes he can come over for dinner so we meet this boy he's fine i'm not thinking anything he lives in idaho does your husband say that's the boy that was walking down
No.
We're still under the impression there is a boy separate from the Idaho kid who's walking down the driveway. So he is hanging around. And for four days, he's hanging around. He's like leaving at night, going to grandma's, showing up at like 9 a.m. They're going to breakfast. They're watching TV. They're going to the lake. And... I'm like, when are you going home? I don't even know you. Go home.
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Chapter 4: What humorous mishaps occur during the story?
Split and blended. You know how it is. So as soon as I got my license... That task was set to me to take the kids to school, pick them up, do all the good stuff that an older sister would do. One day after school, I was a sophomore in high school and my brother was an eighth grader. I got to the middle school and he was like, hey, Kate, can you take my friend home? And I was like, yeah, of course.
He lived a couple blocks from us. So I'm going to code name him JP. I took him home. And he didn't give me the address, but he just gave me like directions to the house. So I got to his house and it's set off on the road. They probably have like a 50 foot gravel driveway. And there's like a little white fence that runs along. It like halves the driveway up.
I pull into the driveway, but I'm not facing the house how the driveway goes. I pull into it and And I'm parallel with the road. So I'm on the wrong side of the road, but I'm in their driveway. So JP gets out and his father and grandfather come up to me. And they're like, hey, you old enough to drive? And I was like, yeah, I literally just turned 16. They're like, are you sure?
And I was like, yeah. And I went to go get my license out. And they were like, no, we're just heckling you. Thanks for bringing our boy home. And I was like, yeah, of course. JP is the oldest of five. So he had several younger siblings outside at the time on top of the parents. He gets out and I go to leave and I turn around, you know, check my blind spots from behind me, check in front of me.
I go off and I just accelerate and I just hit this huge bump. Oh, my God.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I looked at my brothers and they were in the car with me. I was like, what? And they were like, I don't know. And they just got back on their phones. I look back over and everybody is running to the room. So I get out. I walk to the back of the car and this lush, of energy. It's like the craziest drug I have ever felt that I've been on. There was a kid laying in the road. Oh my God.
An entire child. He's not dead. I didn't kill him. Let's cut to the chase. But I just ran over him.
Okay, yeah.
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