Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card XIII
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What is the show format and who are the hosts introducing Wild Card XIII?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Mike Padman.
Michael.
Today we have wild card number 13. Oh, wow. Unlucky number 13.
A baker's dozen, if you will.
A baker's D, if you prefer. Please enjoy Wild Card.
Hard times come and go.
I noticed you have some indoor flora and that's really lovely. Tell me about that.
Thank you. This is my money tree. It's doing really well. Yeah, very well. They don't get that big.
Tell me about a money tree.
Oh God, I don't really know anything about it other than its name and that it's ridiculously easy to take care of. And then my spider plant questionable, not doing so well.
You have a spider plant and a money tree. You only want flora that has a kind of different name.
Yes.
Maybe you should get a rubber tree too.
I actually have one. No, you don't. I do. My dad gave it to me.
Oh my goodness. Is it mature enough for you to harvest rubber from it?
No, I'm definitely allergic to, so it sits in a jar in my window. It's happy. I'm not going to touch it.
Yeah. I just saw they do it. They just scrape a little tiny bit of the bark off and then they hang this little device at the end and then it just rubber pours out. It's so cool.
Yeah, it is really cool.
Where are you at?
Who is the first caller and what personal details do they share about plants and location?
I am in New Brunswick, Canada.
Oh, wonderful. We love our Canadian listeners.
Thank you. Okay.
So you have a wild card story.
I do. I have a really weird kind of embarrassing story for you guys. Wonderful. To set the scene, this was about six years ago. I was pretty heavily pregnant at the time with my first. I was about eight months pregnant, almost ready to pop. And intimacy at that point, kind of hard to come by. So I wanted to surprise my boyfriend when he got home from work. And I kind of tried to set the scene, dim some lights, lit some candles, put on some music, put on something that made me feel a little bit sexy. He gets home from work and he's pretty excited and I'm pretty excited. And then, you know, all the foreplay stuff happens, the usual. And then we're getting intimate on the couch because my center of gravity is off a little.
I need something to hold on to, lean over. The bedroom's just not doing it for me anymore.
Okay, but the couch is already a little too small for a bunch of activity for two adults.
worked perfectly I mean you just lean over the arm of the couch right he's behind me it just worked out okay great so I'm leaning over the side of the couch and I hear him go oh my god oh my god and I'm thinking yeah I'm doing great you're having a great time so hot everything's awesome I had my eyes closed just like totally feeling the moment and then I realized while my eyes are closed that I see this light in front of my eyes so I'm thinking oh shit somebody came into the room Cause at the time we were living in his mom's basement apartment. Oh, okay. So we had the music on loud enough that somebody could have come in and we wouldn't have noticed.
Right. Plus you're in the heat of the moment. You're distracted. Yeah.
Exactly. Worst nightmare, I was terrified somebody had come in. So I opened my eyes and I realized, no, the light's not on, but there's a light right in front of my face. It took me a couple seconds and he's not moving anymore. I'm wondering what's going on. And then I realized I had leaned over the candle. Oh! And my hair was up in flames.
Oh my goodness. You were ablaze. Yeah. Oh my God. It was so bright that you noticed.
A human torch. Oh no.
I'm shocked you didn't smell it instantly.
I am too. Especially with like, you know, you're pregnant, your sense of smell is just so heightened, right? But that part definitely comes into play. So I hopped off and I'm slapping myself in the side of the face repeatedly trying to get this fire out. And I look over at my boyfriend and he's standing there just like naked and afraid, staring at me. Oh, God. It's like, do something. Why are you? helping me i think he was in shock honestly so i get the fire out and then my response to stressful situations is to just laugh it's got me in trouble before rolls all the time it's embarrassing sure sure it's a great place for a laugh i've had them right like it's so awkward
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the show format and who are the hosts introducing Wild Card XIII?
0:00–1:38
2
Who is the first caller and what personal details do they share about plants and location?
1:38–5:03
3
How did the caller’s candle-related near-disaster happen while eight months pregnant?
5:03–11:06
4
What medical perspective does the nurse-caller provide after her hair caught fire?
11:06–22:33
5
Which caller describes inhaling a sewing pin and what happened at the ER?
22:33–31:12
6
What follow-up details explain the sewing-pin bronchoscopy and recovery?
31:12–37:41