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Who are the hosts and guest in this episode?
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Ho hum, down in the bayou, we got legs that are tired, lights that flicker in the night.
What is the improvised 'Ho hum' poem about?
Ho hum, my old black legs are skimming through the sand with my weepy eyes and my sour soul, and I'm coming around. What's up? That was improvised.
Oh, hum.
Oh, yeah? You know the ho-hum?
As you track through the woods with your bow. Yeah, dude. Ho-hum.
Where your porridge is cold but your anus is numb. Ho hum.
What humorous banter takes place about donuts?
Where the donuts are old fairy and they're filled with cum. Ho hum.
My Mexican friend is dumb, but he's got no Julio Iglesias. I don't know.
I couldn't do it. So close. I'm so tired. No, you got it.
How do the hosts react to trying pistachio donuts?
But anyway, thanks for the donut. Have you had one of these? I have. No, you haven't. Let me see. No, you haven't. I didn't eat it today. Get a pistachio, dude. Man. I'm going to prove a point here.
You know what the fans love when we eat on the show?
What is the discussion about Paul Hollywood's judging style?
Just take a bite.
I will take one little bite of a stash. Do you guys want some of this? Oh my god. Is it soft?
Mmm. Yeah Well, let the flavor sink in. Let the flavor sink in.
You know what my biggest problem is?
Do you think Paul Hollywood just goes eat and then says it? He does this.
No, sometimes he does this Let me tell you something I don't like that it's got cream in it.
Oh, yeah? You got cream inside you, and people eat that. Man, you are tired. Okay? There's cream in everything, dude. In titty milk? Dude, a lady last night, a 68-year-old lady pulled out her titty in my show. that's your crowd yeah and i go um i thought the joke i said was what comes out of their cottage shoes and it got nothing and then my second show that's in houston i hear a thump a thump like a big thump and i looked to my right and there's a 600 pound man i'm not kidding you laying on the floor, face first on the floor like this. Going, home. Home. This comedy sucks, I'm taking a nap.
So wait a minute, there's a big fat dude on the floor? Right. Oh, you are coming. Well, thanks for showing up.
Yeah, so this guy is laying on his, I think he's dead. So there's two choices, right?
Piss on them?
No.
No?
Pretend it's not happening. Right, yeah. Just keep going. Right. Because it was off to my right, so I see staff, the managers, trying to revive them. And I'm going, yeah, that's what the Chicano said. You know, whatever, right? And then I just look to the right and I go, what's going on? And they go, we don't know, man. It's packed. Sold out. And it's now, people are just rumbling. Oh, there's rumblings. Yeah, now people are rumbling, right? And I'm going off to the side looking to see, you gonna be okay, man? He's 600 pounds, right? It takes him like 20 minutes to get the fuck out of there. Right. Right, right. And then- They got a forklift in the- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then- You hear him breathing outside. You know how hard it is to restart the room?
Oh, yeah.
Bro.
Dude, I had a guy had a stroke in Nashville in the balcony at Zany's.
No.
I was like, am I going to do this show now?
In the middle of your act? Yeah. And you stopped.
Well, there was like a big commotion. And then I was like, what's going on? And then they were like, it's a medical emergency. And I was like, I know. My thought was dead. Somebody died.
Yeah.
You know, because that happened. That's happened at almost every show I've done.
So then this morning, I get a direct message from some guy. I want to let you know, dude, that guy died last night.
No. Yeah. Carlos. Carlos, what the? That's not funny. Carlos, man.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Who are the hosts and guest in this episode?
0:00–0:23
2
What is the improvised 'Ho hum' poem about?
0:23–1:02
3
What humorous banter takes place about donuts?
1:02–1:26
4
How do the hosts react to trying pistachio donuts?
1:26–1:39
5
What is the discussion about Paul Hollywood's judging style?
1:39–4:49