Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

281: Reviews of Mattress Stores

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We dedicate this episode to all the productbristas who shop online and inside the stores. No pun intended.Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enth...

280: Reviews of Immersive Experiences

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is full of Shrek Humor. Youth groups, you've been warned! ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/Look at what we have in sto...

279: Review of Paint and Sips

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Description: We're not sure who's at fault in most of these paint-and-sip debacles, but it's probably Jude Law. ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://bea...

278: Reviews from 2004

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jump 5 right into a gathering of Ricardo's apostles.Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on T...

277: Reviews of Chuck E. Cheese Part 2

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Here lies Auston Powers. Sex? Yes please!Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! ht...

276: Reviews of Rest Stops

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport u...

275: Reviews of Fad Water Bottles

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport u...

274: Reviews of Lego

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy is st...

273: Reviews of Fall Out Boy

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy is st...

272: Reviews of Reality Dating Shows

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A kiss is the beginning of everything. -NoleneLast chance to get in on our winter sale! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes...

271: Reviews of The Office

07 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Don't discuss this episode too much, it might make Xandy sick.Check out our winter merch sale from 2/9-2/16! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch vid...

270: Reviews of Moving Companies

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is that Nana's bong or an empty Gatorade bottle? Catch Xandy's Stream tomorrow! twitch.tv/xandyschieferOr join his Discord to see when he goes live! ...

269: Reviews of Hot Sauces

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

YEEEEOWWWW! Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosan...

268: Reviews of Schiefer

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Please don't be offended, wine freaks.Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www....

267: Between You And Us

10 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's interesting to look back how my views have changed since middle school.Cool Cruisers only: https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our ...

266: Reviews of Community Colleges

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to another episode, we're your hosts LighthouseLover and HisExuberantGiraffe.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...

265: Reviews of Skating Rinks

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is dedicated to the Ferndale Pooper and the incredible service they provide.The following link is for cool cruisers only: https://www.be...

264: Reviews of Drag Brunch

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Check out our new merch! Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff... https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com...

263: Reviews of Nude Beaches

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week we learn what Christine thinks an erection sounds like!Get your cool cruiser merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our ep...

262: Reviews of Tattoo Parlors

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us ...

261: Reviews of Food Trucks

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

New merch items out this Friday 12/1!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySu...

260: Barbie or Oppenheimer?

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

See what the International Primate Protection League is all about! https://ippl.org/Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...

259: Glassdoor Reviews

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ignore what he said in the episode, you can listen to Xandy's episode on Twisted & Uncorked now! https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j2w5w5Cm8jd6WG...

258: Reviews of Hair Dye

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Watch the short film Xandy acted in! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i9-4MaLYRECheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch ...

257: Reviews of Horror Movies

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...

256: Reviews of Naughty Halloween Costumes

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...

255: Reviews of Pet Halloween Costumes

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...

254: Reviews of Corn Mazes

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...

253: Reviews of Florida Man

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Read more about the issues surrounding the Florida Man meme: https://www.washingtonpost.com/made-by-history/2022/09/14/florida-men-are-notorious-heres...

252: Reviews of Laser Tag

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...

251: Reviews of Trails

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...

250: Reviews of Children’s Museums

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.sto...

249: Reviews of Microwave Meals

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Listen to Xandy on D Listers of History! https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Gc3IjTw49KV86FeDjSWo1?si=zPcz1sgyT3S-2g0RKYrZVACheck out our new merch stor...

248: Best Reviews From Tour

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Watch our full live show in DC by signing up for our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachto...

247: Reviews of Haunted Hotels

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fun fact: hot springs in Arkansas are an aphrodisiac!Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on ...

246: Dr. Christine

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Messy self always.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beacht...

245: Reviews of Topgolf

09 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is NOT brought to you by Big Beef.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok...

244: Reviews of Squishmallows

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We apologize for what this episode does for Temu coffin sales.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeLast chance to get live...

243: Reviews of Hobby Lobby

26 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ts and Ps for all the victims of the retail apocalypse.Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www.patr...

242: Reviews of Smut

19 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We apologize for what this episode does for holy chrism oil sales.Last chance to get live show tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on Tik...

241: Reviews of Whole Foods

12 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Help support independent filmmakers! https://bit.ly/3O1ujpbGet your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https:...

240: Reviews of Thrift Stores

05 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

For mormon’s sake, don’t come near Fort Schiefer. We will hit on sight.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on ...

239: Reviews of County Fairs and Porn

28 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This one goes out to all the dirty birds.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beach...

238: Twilight or Classic Literature?

21 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Tune in to find out what book is full of sexually frustrated cannibals!Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikT...

237: Reviews of Classic Literature

14 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I liked the ending of this episode. The part where it ended.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https:...

236: Reviews of Twilight

07 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

when i saw this podcast live, there were team xandy girls in the bathroom and they wouldnt let team xtine girls enterGet your live show tickets now! ...

235: Reviews of Themed Bed and Breakfasts

31 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You certainly won't be trapped psychotherapeutically while listening to this episode. Promise.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosan...

234: Reviews of Vacation Bible Schools

24 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Description:The hypocrites who produced this episode will be judged by the Lord in full, LOL.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy...

233: Reviews of 90s Computer Games

17 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Freddi Fish, Putt-Putt, Spy Fox, Pajama Sam, and Fatty Bear walk into a podcast episode...Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.co...

232: Reviews of Coachella

10 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If every duck was a balloon, the world might be a better place.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! htt...

231: Reviews of Preschools

03 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week we ponder a question as old as time: Are rats in a preschool better dead or alive?Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy...

230: Reviews of Disney Channel Original Movies

26 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM YOU MAKE MY HEART GO BOOM BOOMGet your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@b...

229: Reviews of Weed

19 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Happy 4/20 to those who celebrate! Sincere apologies to those who don't...Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your mystery pin!...

228: Reviews of Rage Rooms

12 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Put your belongings in a garbage bag lined crate, throw on your enormous gardening gloves, and prepare to feel the rage COFFINFollow us on TikTok! ht...

227: Reviews of Hallmark Movies

05 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week we discover that Zak Bagans is just a regular normal guy!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!!...

226: Reviews of 90s Sitcoms

29 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

20 years from now Beach Too Sandy will have been consigned to the dustbin of forgotten podcasts...Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosa...

225: Reviews of Amusement Parks

22 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sending good vibes from Grandma poopy 1 2 3 4 5!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!! https://store.dft...

224: Reviews of Breastaurants

15 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Christine's comedy might be legendary, but Hooters is no place for it.Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin...

223: Reviews of Pawn Shops

08 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Christine no likey this episode. But Xandy likey very muchy!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!! https...

222: Reviews of Boxed Wine

01 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Follow us on TikTok to see the cinematic art that comes from this episode! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style...

221: Reviews of Valentine's Candy

22 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Satan? Beelzebub? Lucifer? Dana?Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSup...

220: Reviews of Church Festivals

15 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Please have your kids listen to our podcast while they're too young to argue!Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com...

219: Reviews of The Sims

08 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sul sul! Benzi Chibna Looble Bazebni Gweb.Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-...

218: Reviews of Subscription Boxes

01 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We'll bet you two wooden nickels MeUndies never sponsors us again.Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collection...

217: Reviews of Stores that No Longer Exist

25 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We've come to the conclusion that perhaps it is our listeners defecating (pun intended)Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store...

216: Reviews of Gated Communities

18 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're just hoping you don't rate your podcast based on physique and eating habits...Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.df...

215: Reviews of Buffet Restaurants

11 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We hope you enjoy this episode of Beach Too Sandy, Farts Too Wet!Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections...

214: Reviews of Wedding DJs

04 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we go deep under cover and get lost in the sauceSupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://ww...

213: Reviews of Gingerbread Houses

28 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

All hail Dong Man and the Satan Dog!Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofuX...

212: Reviews of Mall Santas

21 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Fool me twice, I've gotta yelp it!Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofuXan...

211: Reviews of Elf on the Shelf

14 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Tag yourself! Xtine is Lucifer the Elf and Xandy is Bendy Naughty Boy...Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-wa...

210: Reviews of Hallmark Christmas Movies

08 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Come ride the American Idol/Soap Opera/Hallmark Pipeline with us!Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too...

209: Reviews of Towns with Lewd Names

08 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Was Coolio talking about a Chuck E. Cheese?Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patr...

208: Reviews of Caves

23 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Who killed a snake in here?Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreon! https://ww...

207: Reviews of Ben & Jerry's

16 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Repeat after us: MORALS! OVER! FROZEN! MILK!Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Pat...

206: Reviews of Our Dad's Mail

09 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Coming Soon: Beach Too Sandy X Stinky BoyGet your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreo...

205: Reviews of HOT TOPIC

02 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Only having $9 billion is like shoving a ping pong ball up your nose.Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too...

Between You And Us: Episode 41

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba...

204: Reviews of Chuck E. Cheese

26 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We would like to citizens arrest Charles Entertainment Cheese.-Love, Xandy and XtineGet your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-...

203: Reviews of Spirit Halloween Stores

19 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

More like (Demonic) Spirit Halloween Stores amirite?Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on...

202: The Eek! Episode

12 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Your favorite eductinal podcast is back!Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreon! h...

201: Reviews of Children's Shows

05 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

WARNING: Episode contains spoilers for Caillou.Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patr...

Between You And Us: Episode 40

30 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet your Porch Pegging pin and dad hat...

200: Reviews of Our Embarrassing Moments

28 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If this episode doesn't get our podcast into the Library of Congress, we don't know what will.Porch Pegging and dad hats are in!!! https://store.dftb...

199: Wedding Chapels in Las Vegas, NV

21 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Porch Pegging and dad hats are in!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) sho...

198: Reviews of Matchmaking Services

14 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Porch Pegging is in!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosa...

197: Reviews of Board Games

07 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Games and balls.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy...

196: Reviews of Useless Wish Products

31 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're all thumbs if you know what we mean...Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! https://w...

Between You And Us: Episode 39

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new Bitch Too Sandy ...

Between You And Us: Episode 38

26 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new Bitch Too Sandy ...

195: Reviews of 55+ Communities

24 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I don't remember this, but in Christine's notes she wrote "Decatur, AL, Porno" and that probably sums up this episode somehow.Buy your tickets for our...

194: Reviews of Summer Camps

17 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Warning: This episode might induce estranged relations with one's parents.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSup...

193: Reviews of Cruises

10 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

At the core, the true Xandy is a cool cruiser EEK!Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! htt...

192: Reviews of Claire's

03 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Listen to find out where the Teletubbies got their work done.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Pa...

191: Reviews of Recipes

27 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

“…And if you gaze long into the food blog. The food blog gazes also into you.”  - Friedrich NietzscheBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantow...

190: Reviews of Cemeteries

20 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What kind of loon wants to steal from a pet cemetery? Well, it might be someone closer to you than you think.Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreo...

189: Reviews of Chipotle

13 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Corn ;)Get our new Bitch Too Sandy pin and pin board!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetXtine's Etsy: https://www.ets...

188: Reviews of Toddler Beds

06 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Anyone know a way to tell if something is bird poop without tasting it? Asking for a friend...Get our new Bitch Too Sandy pin and pin board!!! https:/...

Between You And Us: Episode 37

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is highly unprofessional, distressing, confusing, and plain weird. Oh wait, that's all our episodes...Want more bonus content? Support us...

187: Reviews of Camera Stores

29 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Please go the extra three inches and support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy!Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new B...