Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Episodes
269: Reviews of Hot Sauces
24 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
YEEEEOWWWW! Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosan...
268: Reviews of Schiefer
17 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Please don't be offended, wine freaks.Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www....
267: Between You And Us
10 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's interesting to look back how my views have changed since middle school.Cool Cruisers only: https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our ...
266: Reviews of Community Colleges
03 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to another episode, we're your hosts LighthouseLover and HisExuberantGiraffe.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...
265: Reviews of Skating Rinks
27 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is dedicated to the Ferndale Pooper and the incredible service they provide.The following link is for cool cruisers only: https://www.be...
264: Reviews of Drag Brunch
20 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Check out our new merch! Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff... https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com...
263: Reviews of Nude Beaches
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we learn what Christine thinks an erection sounds like!Get your cool cruiser merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our ep...
262: Reviews of Tattoo Parlors
06 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us ...
261: Reviews of Food Trucks
29 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
New merch items out this Friday 12/1!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySu...
260: Barbie or Oppenheimer?
22 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
See what the International Primate Protection League is all about! https://ippl.org/Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...
259: Glassdoor Reviews
15 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ignore what he said in the episode, you can listen to Xandy's episode on Twisted & Uncorked now! https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j2w5w5Cm8jd6WG...
258: Reviews of Hair Dye
08 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Watch the short film Xandy acted in! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i9-4MaLYRECheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch ...
257: Reviews of Horror Movies
01 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...
256: Reviews of Naughty Halloween Costumes
25 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...
255: Reviews of Pet Halloween Costumes
18 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.st...
254: Reviews of Corn Mazes
11 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...
253: Reviews of Florida Man
04 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Read more about the issues surrounding the Florida Man meme: https://www.washingtonpost.com/made-by-history/2022/09/14/florida-men-are-notorious-heres...
252: Reviews of Laser Tag
27 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...
251: Reviews of Trails
20 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.comCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWa...
250: Reviews of Children’s Museums
13 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get your tix for our Pittsburgh and Nashville shows!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tourCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.sto...
249: Reviews of Microwave Meals
06 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Listen to Xandy on D Listers of History! https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Gc3IjTw49KV86FeDjSWo1?si=zPcz1sgyT3S-2g0RKYrZVACheck out our new merch stor...
248: Best Reviews From Tour
30 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Watch our full live show in DC by signing up for our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyCheck out our new merch store! https://www.beachto...
247: Reviews of Haunted Hotels
23 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Fun fact: hot springs in Arkansas are an aphrodisiac!Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on ...
246: Dr. Christine
16 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Messy self always.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beacht...
245: Reviews of Topgolf
09 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is NOT brought to you by Big Beef.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok...
244: Reviews of Squishmallows
02 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We apologize for what this episode does for Temu coffin sales.Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.storeLast chance to get live...
243: Reviews of Hobby Lobby
26 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ts and Ps for all the victims of the retail apocalypse.Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandySupport us on Patreon! https://www.patr...
242: Reviews of Smut
19 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We apologize for what this episode does for holy chrism oil sales.Last chance to get live show tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on Tik...
241: Reviews of Whole Foods
12 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Help support independent filmmakers! https://bit.ly/3O1ujpbGet your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https:...
240: Reviews of Thrift Stores
05 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
For mormon’s sake, don’t come near Fort Schiefer. We will hit on sight.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on ...
239: Reviews of County Fairs and Porn
28 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This one goes out to all the dirty birds.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beach...
238: Twilight or Classic Literature?
21 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in to find out what book is full of sexually frustrated cannibals!Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikT...
237: Reviews of Classic Literature
14 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I liked the ending of this episode. The part where it ended.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https:...
236: Reviews of Twilight
07 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
when i saw this podcast live, there were team xandy girls in the bathroom and they wouldnt let team xtine girls enterGet your live show tickets now! ...
235: Reviews of Themed Bed and Breakfasts
31 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You certainly won't be trapped psychotherapeutically while listening to this episode. Promise.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosan...
234: Reviews of Vacation Bible Schools
24 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Description:The hypocrites who produced this episode will be judged by the Lord in full, LOL.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy...
233: Reviews of 90s Computer Games
17 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Freddi Fish, Putt-Putt, Spy Fox, Pajama Sam, and Fatty Bear walk into a podcast episode...Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.co...
232: Reviews of Coachella
10 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If every duck was a balloon, the world might be a better place.Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! htt...
231: Reviews of Preschools
03 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we ponder a question as old as time: Are rats in a preschool better dead or alive?Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy...
230: Reviews of Disney Channel Original Movies
26 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM YOU MAKE MY HEART GO BOOM BOOMGet your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.comFollow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@b...
229: Reviews of Weed
19 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Happy 4/20 to those who celebrate! Sincere apologies to those who don't...Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your mystery pin!...
228: Reviews of Rage Rooms
12 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Put your belongings in a garbage bag lined crate, throw on your enormous gardening gloves, and prepare to feel the rage COFFINFollow us on TikTok! ht...
227: Reviews of Hallmark Movies
05 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we discover that Zak Bagans is just a regular normal guy!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!!...
226: Reviews of 90s Sitcoms
29 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
20 years from now Beach Too Sandy will have been consigned to the dustbin of forgotten podcasts...Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosa...
225: Reviews of Amusement Parks
22 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sending good vibes from Grandma poopy 1 2 3 4 5!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!! https://store.dft...
224: Reviews of Breastaurants
15 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Christine's comedy might be legendary, but Hooters is no place for it.Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin...
223: Reviews of Pawn Shops
08 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Christine no likey this episode. But Xandy likey very muchy!Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Clam Volcano pin!!! https...
222: Reviews of Boxed Wine
01 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Follow us on TikTok to see the cinematic art that comes from this episode! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandyGet your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style...
221: Reviews of Valentine's Candy
22 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Satan? Beelzebub? Lucifer? Dana?Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSup...
220: Reviews of Church Festivals
15 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Please have your kids listen to our podcast while they're too young to argue!Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com...
219: Reviews of The Sims
08 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sul sul! Benzi Chibna Looble Bazebni Gweb.Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-...
218: Reviews of Subscription Boxes
01 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We'll bet you two wooden nickels MeUndies never sponsors us again.Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collection...
217: Reviews of Stores that No Longer Exist
25 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We've come to the conclusion that perhaps it is our listeners defecating (pun intended)Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store...
216: Reviews of Gated Communities
18 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We're just hoping you don't rate your podcast based on physique and eating habits...Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.df...
215: Reviews of Buffet Restaurants
11 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We hope you enjoy this episode of Beach Too Sandy, Farts Too Wet!Get your Morality Doesn't Go Out of Style pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections...
214: Reviews of Wedding DJs
04 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we go deep under cover and get lost in the sauceSupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://ww...
213: Reviews of Gingerbread Houses
28 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
All hail Dong Man and the Satan Dog!Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofuX...
212: Reviews of Mall Santas
21 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Fool me twice, I've gotta yelp it!Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandyXtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofuXan...
211: Reviews of Elf on the Shelf
14 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tag yourself! Xtine is Lucifer the Elf and Xandy is Bendy Naughty Boy...Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-wa...
210: Reviews of Hallmark Christmas Movies
08 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Come ride the American Idol/Soap Opera/Hallmark Pipeline with us!Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too...
209: Reviews of Towns with Lewd Names
08 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Was Coolio talking about a Chuck E. Cheese?Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patr...
208: Reviews of Caves
23 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Who killed a snake in here?Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreon! https://ww...
207: Reviews of Ben & Jerry's
16 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Repeat after us: MORALS! OVER! FROZEN! MILK!Get your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Pat...
206: Reviews of Our Dad's Mail
09 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Coming Soon: Beach Too Sandy X Stinky BoyGet your Wezzle pin!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreo...
205: Reviews of HOT TOPIC
02 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Only having $9 billion is like shoving a ping pong ball up your nose.Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too...
Between You And Us: Episode 41
31 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba...
204: Reviews of Chuck E. Cheese
26 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We would like to citizens arrest Charles Entertainment Cheese.-Love, Xandy and XtineGet your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-...
203: Reviews of Spirit Halloween Stores
19 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
More like (Demonic) Spirit Halloween Stores amirite?Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on...
202: The Eek! Episode
12 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your favorite eductinal podcast is back!Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreon! h...
201: Reviews of Children's Shows
05 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
WARNING: Episode contains spoilers for Caillou.Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patr...
Between You And Us: Episode 40
30 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet your Porch Pegging pin and dad hat...
200: Reviews of Our Embarrassing Moments
28 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If this episode doesn't get our podcast into the Library of Congress, we don't know what will.Porch Pegging and dad hats are in!!! https://store.dftb...
199: Wedding Chapels in Las Vegas, NV
21 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Porch Pegging and dad hats are in!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) sho...
198: Reviews of Matchmaking Services
14 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Porch Pegging is in!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosa...
197: Reviews of Board Games
07 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Games and balls.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy...
196: Reviews of Useless Wish Products
31 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We're all thumbs if you know what we mean...Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! https://w...
Between You And Us: Episode 39
29 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new Bitch Too Sandy ...
Between You And Us: Episode 38
26 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want more bonus content? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/beachtoosandyXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new Bitch Too Sandy ...
195: Reviews of 55+ Communities
24 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I don't remember this, but in Christine's notes she wrote "Decatur, AL, Porno" and that probably sums up this episode somehow.Buy your tickets for our...
194: Reviews of Summer Camps
17 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Warning: This episode might induce estranged relations with one's parents.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSup...
193: Reviews of Cruises
10 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
At the core, the true Xandy is a cool cruiser EEK!Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Patreon! htt...
192: Reviews of Claire's
03 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Listen to find out where the Teletubbies got their work done.Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tourSupport us on Pa...
191: Reviews of Recipes
27 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
“…And if you gaze long into the food blog. The food blog gazes also into you.” - Friedrich NietzscheBuy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantow...
190: Reviews of Cemeteries
20 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What kind of loon wants to steal from a pet cemetery? Well, it might be someone closer to you than you think.Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreo...
189: Reviews of Chipotle
13 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Corn ;)Get our new Bitch Too Sandy pin and pin board!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetXtine's Etsy: https://www.ets...
188: Reviews of Toddler Beds
06 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Anyone know a way to tell if something is bird poop without tasting it? Asking for a friend...Get our new Bitch Too Sandy pin and pin board!!! https:/...
Between You And Us: Episode 37
30 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is highly unprofessional, distressing, confusing, and plain weird. Oh wait, that's all our episodes...Want more bonus content? Support us...
187: Reviews of Camera Stores
29 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Please go the extra three inches and support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy!Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferGet ready for our new B...
186: Reviews of Trader Joe's
22 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Only 1780s kids love Slipknot!!Trader Joe's United: https://traderjoesunited.org/ | https://twitter.com/TraderJoesUniteListen to Xandy on this week's ...
185: Reviews of Ships
15 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Unfortunately for Xandy, this week we learn that there truly is an 'Eek!' for everything.Listen to Xandy on this week's episode of Twisted & Uncor...
184: Reviews of Reality TV Shows
08 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
User TitObsessedWankophile gives this episode 5 stars!!Listen to Xandy on this week's episode of Twisted & Uncorked: https://spoti.fi/3Q9Ng86Xandy...
183: Reviews of Michelin Star Restaurants
01 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How you going? I hope you get laser eye surgery. Sincerely, Gazza.Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tourXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferNew merch...
Between You And Us: Episode 36
31 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We worship the almighty dollar, so buy tickets for our tour!Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tourXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferXtine's Etsy: h...
182: Reviews of Cat Cafes
25 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to Toby's Toe Beans! Grab a catpurrccino and enjoy our homemade DNA ornaments.Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tourXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xa...
181: Reviews of Waffle Houses
18 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We revisit one of our favorite places and learn about a few new places, including the International House of Bologna!Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/t...
180: Reviews of Towing Companies
11 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Come see us live in Hawaii!! Or is it Ohio? Is there even a difference?Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tourXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferNew ...
179: Reviews of IKEA
04 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a freedom loving American, good luck with your carpenting!Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferNew merch including a Pigoin pin!!! https:/...
Between You And Us: Episode 35
30 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tourXandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferXtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofuCheck out our Instagram:...
178: Reviews of Children's Books
27 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We hope this episode doesn't haunt you the way we're haunted by the American Midwest between 1870 and 1894.Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschieferNew ...
177: Reviews of As Seen On TV Products
20 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We read reviews of some of the weirdest items you can see on your TV. And come up with new nicknames for Xandy along the way.Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv...