Begin Again with Davina McCall

Ruby Wax on Interviewing The World's Most Dangerous Men & Grieving Alan Rickman

02 Apr 2026

1h 7m

12086 words

3 speakers

02 Apr 2026

Audio

Description

What if the place you’re meant to feel safest… never was? In this episode of Begin Again, Ruby Wax opens up about a life shaped by chaos, fear, and an unrelenting search for safety. Growing up in a home filled with instability and emotional unpredictability, Ruby shares how those early experiences have stayed with her, long after she left. She reflects on the strange reality that, even now, she often feels safest in the most dangerous situations and why home has never been the place that gives her comfort. From childhood trauma to a lifelong battle with depression, Ruby speaks candidly about what it really feels like to live inside a mind that can turn against you. She also revisits some of the most defining moments of her career, interviewing figures like Bill Cosby and Donald Trump, navigating the power dynamics and darkness she encountered along the way. These weren’t just interviews, they were experiences that shaped how she sees people, the world, and herself. At the heart of this conversation is Ruby’s journey toward understanding her mind. From studying neuroscience to exploring mindfulness and meditation, she shares how she’s learned to manage the noise, the fear, and the patterns that once controlled her. This is a story about survival, self-awareness, and what it takes to rebuild a sense of safety from the inside out. 🌟Follow Begin Again for more powerful conversations about resilience, growth, and starting over. Follow us here: 📸 www.instagram.com/beginagain 🎥 https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod Ruby’s Tour “Absolutely Famous” https://www.rubywax.net/livetour ✨Sign up for the Begin Again newsletter for all your behind the scenes access, recommendations and much much more at: https://linkly.link/2dwmf?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video_description&utm_campaign=always-on (00:00) Intro (01:24) Ruby On Her Upcoming Tour “Absolutely Famous” (04:16) Why She Is Unable To Lie (05:13) Interviewing Bill Cosby And Donald Trump (07:54) Her Parents And Challenging Upbringing (10:33) Discovering The Truth About Her Family History And Generational Trauma (16:33) Safety And Insanity (18:43) Finding Safety In Dangerous Situations (20:13) Feeling Like An Outsider Growing Up (21:33) Ruby’s Experience Of Menopause (26:21) Airbnb Ad (27:28) Paramount+ Ad (28:44) Her Depression And Learning To Manage It (34:49) Ruby Reflects On Her Relationship With Husband Ed (37:40) Getting “Kicked Out Of TV” And Finding A New Purpose (39:20) Ruby’s Menopause (40:17) Friendship With Alan Rickman And Carrie Fisher (46:20) Becoming Ruby Wax And Asking Her Husband To Marry Her (49:11) I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, Friendship With Angry Ginge (50:43) Discovering The Power Of Mindfulness (57:18) Relationship With Gelong Thubten And A Month-Long Silent Retreat (01:01:15) Being With Alan Rickman When He Died (01:05:20) A Letter From Alan Rickman’s Niece Airbnb - Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.co.uk/Host Paramount+ - Episodes 1-3 of The Madison are available to stream on Paramount+ now: https://www.paramountplus.com/gb/shows/the-madison/ Episodes 4-6 will be available to stream on 21 March. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chapters

1. What is the main topic discussed in this episode? 2. What inspired Ruby Wax's upcoming tour 'Absolutely Famous'? 3. Why does Ruby Wax feel she cannot lie? 4. What were Ruby's experiences interviewing controversial figures like Bill Cosby and Donald Trump? 5. How did Ruby's challenging upbringing shape her perspective on safety? 6. What insights does Ruby share about generational trauma? 7. How does Ruby find safety in dangerous situations? 8. What role does mindfulness play in Ruby's mental health journey?

Featured

Ruby Wax

Unknown

Davina McCall

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 2.073 Ruby Wax

Bill Cosby tried to choke me to death.

Chapter 2: What inspired Ruby Wax's upcoming tour 'Absolutely Famous'?

2.274 - 6.639 Ruby Wax

20 years later, he's a criminal. I could have told you on day one. I feel safe on a stage.

Chapter 3: Why does Ruby Wax feel she cannot lie?

6.739 - 10.824 Ruby Wax

Give me a group of people and their eyes are shining, but homes are really unsafe.

Chapter 4: What were Ruby's experiences interviewing controversial figures like Bill Cosby and Donald Trump?

11.104 - 14.708 Ruby Wax

I thought your dad beats up your mom. That's their idea of hi-hatting.

Chapter 5: How did Ruby's challenging upbringing shape her perspective on safety?

14.728 - 20.355 Ruby Wax

Welcome home. The only reason I married my husband was because he doesn't have a mental illness. I didn't really like him that much.

Chapter 6: What insights does Ruby share about generational trauma?

20.455 - 23.659 Ruby Wax

He's quite a nice guy, though. Yeah, and he had length. He had length.

23.639 - 30.052 Davina McCall

Yes, Ruby! I don't really know if I wanted to know that about Ed. I'll never be able to... No, tall.

Chapter 7: How does Ruby find safety in dangerous situations?

30.072 - 38.629 Davina McCall

He's tall. Oh, he's tall. Sorry, I thought you were talking about his penis. How did you feel interviewing all these people? I thought Donald Trump was hilarious.

38.649 - 41.836 Unknown

I mean, you laughed at him going, I'm going to be president one day.

41.856 - 51.096 Davina McCall

Like, I'm going to be vice president. And then Carrie Fisher was my best friend. I would love to delve into you and Alan Rickman. Oh, yeah. The greatest pairing ever.

51.336 - 52.158 Ruby Wax

How did that happen?

52.399 - 53.28 Davina McCall

I didn't know that.

53.481 - 69.915 Ruby Wax

I was kicked out of TV, and they said, oh, your shows don't sell anymore. Yeah, bullshit. Do you mind me asking you about your depression? No, do you mind me answering it? You try to pretend you are still who you are if somebody comes over and visits, but they can't tell you're imitating who you are. And then they leave the room and you're gone.

70.035 - 76.808 Ruby Wax

I was trying to find meaning, but I ended up in a mental ward. But then suddenly the sun is out and you go, okay, I'm normal again.

77.049 - 101.16 Davina McCall

Have you done everything that you wanted to try before you died? I mean... I would like to start actually about your tour coming up, because Absolutely Famous starts at the end of March, I think 25th? Thank you, yeah. And what are we going to be seeing at this tour?

101.18 - 115.983 Ruby Wax

Well, since nobody ever played my videos, my videos, my films that I did in the BBC about 30 years ago, I thought, I'll just take them and tour them. So you get to see Donald Trump, the offcuts. Where is he now?

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Chapter 8: What role does mindfulness play in Ruby's mental health journey?

128.637 - 134.123 Ruby Wax

And he said, I want you out of here. And that's at a height of 33,000 feet. So he was a

135.841 - 141.13 Davina McCall

So you can actually show clips of some of those interviews that you did. Yeah.

141.711 - 143.054 Ruby Wax

And stuff that we didn't show.

143.835 - 144.356 Unknown

Oh, really?

144.376 - 165.93 Ruby Wax

And what really happened. And who got paid what. And what the deal was. Because it was a moment where, this is a long story, but somebody had a heart attack on a flight. We were going to interview Tammy Faye Baker. And months later I found out and they gave him defibrillator. Defibrillation. Because I was calling it defibrillation, which is like something to do with female genitalia.

166.811 - 186.428 Ruby Wax

Defibrillation has to do... Yes. Look it up. I didn't know that. And I've been saying it. Somebody look it up. It has to do with pulling apart your labia. And that's what I was saying. I have no idea. Like, I always think scatological means you're scatting. I'm going to give you defibrillation. Yeah. Pulling them apart. You know, if they're sticking together. Because we all have that problem.

188.45 - 217.04 Ruby Wax

Sticky veg. And also I use scatological all the time because I think it means scatty. It's bowel movements. So sometimes my language doesn't help. But anyway, it's defibulation. I can't say it now. Defibrillation. Yeah, so they were boom, boom in the thing. And we were filming because you could go in the pilot's thing. So I told it, and we found out the guy didn't have a heart attack.

217.08 - 236.259 Ruby Wax

He was drunk. He was an old colonel who obviously thought it was OK to drink at 8 in the morning because his pills said don't drink at all. He had an ulcer. But we found out that he was just drunk. So I said that to Richard Branson when I met him three months later. And he said, never say that again. because they landed the plane and it cost millions.

236.8 - 250.218 Ruby Wax

And then we flew free from then on, on Virgin, upper class, everybody, because he wanted me to keep my mouth shut. But not anymore? No, well, now I'm not. Come and get me, Richard. Come and get me, Donald.