Chapter 1: What happens when Luenell and Kathy Griffin meet?
3.000 Action-Filialen in Europa und wir feiern mit extrem niedrigen Preisen. Zum Beispiel Palmolive-Shampoo 750ml, nur 1,29. Und unsere weichen Hotel-Royal-Baumwoll-Handtücher, nur 2,49. Für noch mehr extrem niedrige Preise besuche unsere Filialen oder schau in die App. Action, kleine Preise, große Freude. Who can we call?
Kathy, how did you find?
Um... Here, give me Anderson Cooper's number, I'll call him. Oh no, I don't have it anymore. Call Don Mehmet. What's worse? Getting cancelled or cancer?
Oh, getting cancelled was way worse. I've always thought so. And by the way, cancelled is like an understatement. How about being investigated by the Department of Justice and interrogated under oath?
Nobody's been cancelled like Kathy's been cancelled. I win that prize. You might be the goat.
Nobody's been cancelled like Kathy's been cancelled. You should do a show called Cancel Wars. Where you bring in people that are newly cancelled and then you are the judge and you're like, alright, here's the deal. It's like old school Henry V. I'm like, have the feds called? Will they get the fuck out?
No, this is what you do. You go, Roseanne, you said some stuff about the Jews and you call that lady a monkey.
I've got... A drunken Video of Roseanne Barr in my phone that I'm holding right now that would set the world on fucking fire.
Wait, what are you waiting for? Cocktail, where are the cocktails?
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Chapter 2: How does Kathy Griffin feel about cancel culture?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, hier ist der Caviar. Aus dem fucking Kaffee.
Okay. By the way, quick interlude. Roseanne gave me my first TV gig. She had a show called Saturday Night Special. She was trying to rival Lorne Michaels, but it was on Fox. And she put me in the cast.
Quit talking, Roseanne.
That's right. I did used to love her and she was so good to me. And the other cast member was named Jennifer Coolidge. Oh, no way.
Are you serious?
Yeah, so that was like our first TV break and it ran for like, I think, eight episodes.
Okay, thank you.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the fish sandwich?
I'm trying to ask him how are we going to get laid. Are you going to get laid? Yeah, because, you know, female comics, it's not like guy comics where it's sexy. Guys don't want to be in the back of the theater.
They do not. We cannot get fucked.
So what is, what's the secret? What do we do?
To get ladies? Yes!
Why is that? Why is it the guy comments that have the girls in the back watching and they think it's sexy? The guys don't think what we do is sexy.
They do not like us. I'll tell you right now. I'm more concerned about why this batter is brown though. That glass is falling apart.
I know, I know. Don't worry, we got three more. Is this the starter card? Yeah, this is the starter card. I don't know, I never was a guy that needed pussy on the road, so I never did that.
Yeah.
I know, and also when you're a girl, you get raped. Like, you can't just invite some guy from the audience. I don't ever rape the willing. Just the unwilling. No, but I'm just saying, when you're a girl, you can't just pick a guy from the audience, he could fucking kill you. Like, you can't just take him back to the hotel.
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Chapter 4: How do Luenell and Kathy Griffin critique each other's cooking?
Look, I don't sell the most tickets in the world, but I have a nice, like, steady where I can play boxes. And I'm super grateful. You do the same venues we all do. You do big venues. And I'm thrilled.
But I know this week... This week, I know, I gotta take care of myself every day because our mutual friend Sia said touring is like being in a kayak and you're white water rafting and you know the cliff is coming, but then when the cliff comes, you still go down.
I know my battery is fully charged.
Oh, wow. 2000 hatte ich einen ICM-Showcase. Wir hatten beide den gleichen Agenten, Andy Cohen. Ja, ich erinnere mich an ihn. Nicht den Bravo-Agenten. Nicht den Deadhead-Andy Cohen. Ja, ja, ja. Und so hast du es gehostet. Die erste Person, die auf den Showcase ging, war Scott Henry. Die nächste Person, die auf den Showcase ging, war Earthquake.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Big cats! Now you're going back. You're going back and I love it.
I mean... He comes up and he goes, hey man, no one wants to go next. You were going to go sixth. Would you like to go next? In New York, I always felt like if someone did good, I could follow good. I could just ride their wave. And then if I got, you know, it was on me. Yeah. So, real quick, they grab you and they go, the next person going up is Burt Kreischer. And you're like, okay.
And so you bring me up. And you go, Burt Kreischer. And I go up after an earthquake. My opening joke was, my name's Burt, hot sexy name. It's the last thing we're gonna hear during sex. Some chick on top of you in the dark going, ah, ah, ah, Burt. So I go, I go, shh, call me earthquake. And the place explodes, right? Explodes. And I do my seven minute set. And I have
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