Bertcast
Something’s Burning: Talkin’ (But Not Doing) Clean Living with Nick Thune + Trae Crowder | S5 E05
25 Mar 2025
Chapter 1: How does sobriety affect relationships?
I almost shit my pants. I almost shit my pants. Make me another drink. Make me another drink. You know, you're one of my favorite human beings. You're the only reason if I ever quit drinking, you're the first person I'll call and the only person I'll ever call. I swear to God when I say that. You quitting drinking, you're the only inspiration in my life. Everyone that's sober, fuck yourselves.
That's the only guy. I swear to God, you know that. Well, here's the thing.
If you do quit or you want to quit and you call me... Don't let that be the end of our relationship because I have a friend that wanted to quit, called me. I'm ready. I'm doing it. I'm like, dude, let's go. Let's meet. And we go to a meeting. He shows up wasted at a meeting. And everyone in the meeting is like, oh, my God, dude, why did you bring this guy? And I'm like, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. And afterwards, he's telling me, he's like, you know, usually when I don't want to do things, I just tell people I have a therapist appointment, but I don't have a therapist. Cut to a week later. I'm like, hey, you want to go to that meeting again? He's like, can't, man. I've got therapy today. And I'm like, oh, you forgot you told me your secret lie. Oh, my God.
And then he never talks to me anymore because now he thinks that I'm... You know, like when people are like, I'm going to make a decision that changes my life.
You can't be the villain. You can't be the villain. Cheers, buddy. Cheers. Cheers. Your... Nick, I can't tell you how much I love you. I really can't. I can't express it. Because you entered my life at a time and you shared all your fucking dirty laundry at a time that I needed to hear it. And it was really fucking pivotal. And I hope...
I hope that one podcast goes viral because of how vulnerable you are and how awesome you are. But like, dude, by the way, if I ever decide to quit drinking, it's not real. Yeah. It's just for like a couple weeks.
Yeah, it's fine. And so, yeah, I'll always be your friend. How did you handle the eating late at night thing? Because I can do- I love that he goes right to eating late at night. Trey is just going like, wait, let's talk about- I'm still stuck on that because that's what always happens. I was a fat kid and I've been up and down my entire adult life. I'll do great throughout the whole day.
I'm not a big breakfast eater. I'll have a light lunch, a reasonable dinner, and then I'll make it through the entire day. And when I stand up from the couch to walk back to my bedroom to go to sleep at night, I so often take a detour into the kitchen and spend 15 minutes eating Girl Scout cookies in the dark over the kitchen sink by myself and just ruin the whole thing.
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Chapter 2: What struggles do comedians face with late-night eating?
Yeah, my mamaw just called those nerve pills. Right.
Nerve pills.
Nerve. Give me a nerve pill.
Like Percocets and Oxycontins too or whatever. The great thing about these is they're not addictive. You can take as many as you want. And then, you know, my entire culture died out.
But anyway, go ahead. No, waitresses at Laugh Factory introduced me to the Percocet. And I remember I took one and I was like, so this is what it's like to live at 100%. Good time. This is it? It's a good time. How did I do this? What have I been missing out on?
I want you to hold on to that moment. How many of us have taken a pill and go, so this is what it's like to be normal. This is what it's like to live at 100%. So this is how we get through. I'll name all the pills. Xanax is the first one. Fucking, what's the one that gets you to do homework?
Adderall. Adderall. What it gets you to do. And if you're not in school, you still have to do homework.
Dude, Adderall, Adderall, Adderall. Leanne's like, stop doing math out there. I was like, God damn it, I can read a book.
I can do all of this.
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Chapter 3: How do comedians handle addiction and sobriety?
Well, they chilled, too, when I chilled out.
For real?
Yeah. Which is... I mean, maybe just around me, but it seems like things... Because Christmas Eve used to get crazy. Really? So you're from like a party family?
Oh, oh, bro. On the lake, on the lake, boats, cold beers, throwing them over, catching them. Everyone's good looking. His goddamn family is gorgeous. Yeah, his, his, his, when I'd watch his family drink, I'd crack a beer watching his family drink.
I've always marveled at that, because being from the rural South, I'm not even from a churchy family. And I just told you, every man in my family drank, and everybody knew it. But not when everyone was together, because it was like, you don't drink in front of me, Ma, or whatever. It's disrespectful. So we all pretend not to drink when we get together for the holidays. Leanne. That's like Mormons.
Leanne, get the fuck in here right now. We're not even religious. It's just like a cultural thing.
Brother, when I first started dating Leanne, I go back to her house, and I was like, I'm going to have a cocktail. She's like, oh, we all drink in front of Granny or Meemaw or Peaball or Pawpaw. And I was like, but everyone's drinking. She was like, but we don't do it in front of them. Yeah, right. And I was like, so we lie to them?
Right. This is definitely the healthiest way to approach it.
I was like, am I right, Leanne? Yeah. Did you go drink in the other room, though?
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