Black Girls Heal
Episodes
#218: 4 Therapy Tasks for Love Avoidants
15 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode, Shena talks about 4 tasks that every love avoidant can look to achieve in therapy to becoming more love available and open in ...
#217: 12 Promises of Hope for Love Addict
07 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena reviews 12 promises of hope and healing all love addicts can expect as they heal along their journeyOur Sponsors:* Check out In...
#216: 3 Things to Unlearn After an Unhealthy Relationship
31 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
After an unhealthy relationship, we may take some unhealthy beliefs with us. In this episode, I go over 3 things to you may need to unlearn after an u...
#215: Can a Love Addict & Love Avoidant Make it Work? (3 Ways to Move Forward)
24 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about can a love addict and love avoidant make it work in a relationship? And if so, the 3 things it takes for them to mo...
#214: 7 Tips for Dating Post Divorce
17 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena reviews 7 tips to keep in mind for those who are interested in starting to date post divorce.Click here to enroll in the Dating...
Now Introducing The Business of Healing Podcast!
15 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We are so pleased to introduce the newest addition to the Black Girls Heal & Shena Lashey healing network: The Business of Healing Podcast!In this...
#213: Is it compatibility or codependency?
10 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena discusses how to tell if the connection that you're feeling in a relationship is codependency or compatibility.Register for...
#212: What it Feels Like to be Restored
03 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What does it feel like to reach a place of restoration? Past suffering? Past just going through the motions, but actually feeling restored? This episo...
#211: Feeling Safety in Your Body (Reclaiming Me)
26 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about what does it feel like to find safety in your body and not feel as if you always have to run and do to avoid feelin...
#210: Building Positive Self Belief
19 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena focuses on the importance of focusing on the qualities you do want to cultivate and nurture in yourself versus the things you w...
#209: How to Use Coaching In Your Healing Process
12 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to use coaching as a tool in your healing process and how it differs from therapy.Ready to heal your...
#208: 4 Gains of Being Love Available (fixed audio)
07 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we will talk about the gains made from moving from being love avoidant to love available in your self love, friendships, and every da...
#207: For Beautiful Ari & All Others Who Feel Not Enough
05 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we look at feelings for low self worth, feeling like an imposter, and learning to soothe and care for ourselves in these hard moments...
#206: Sisterhood Heals with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
30 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we are joined by special guest, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford of Therapy for Black Girls to talk about the importance of sisterhood and how...
#205: Listen to Your Teachers, but Trust Your Gut
22 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about the importance of listening to your intuition even when you get guidance from trusted leaders and sources. She shar...
#204: Recovering as a Married Single Mother with Jasmine Chanelle
15 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, our special guest, Jasmine Chanelle, joins us to talk about her experience as a Married Single Mother, the signs of abuse in the rela...
#203: When you feel love deprived and neglect yourself (Roadmap Episode)
08 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's podcast episode, Shena goes over what it looks like to live in Love Deprivation and self neglect and how to move towards being Love...
#202: Do I tell them I'm a love addict? [repost]
03 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena goes what are the things you do and do not disclose to someone when first meeting them about your past and what you bring to th...
#201: 3 Regrets as a Recovered Love Addict
25 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Following from last week, in today's episode I reflect on the 3 things I would have done differently as a love addict.Ready to Reclaim Who You Are...
#200: The 5 Steps to Heal from Love Addiction
18 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode Shena talks about the roadmap to go from being love Addicted to Love balanced. As she revisits these foundational episodes, it...
#199: Refocusing and Self Love at BGH
11 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode Shena shares about the exciting changes that are coming to the Black Girls Heal Podcast in hopes to help all of us go deeper in...
#198: How to Apologize (and When Not to)
05 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode, we're talking about how to apologize when it's time to make amends and also when not to. It's important to find a ...
#197: Therapeutic separation with a neglectful partnership
27 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about the place that a therapeutic separation may have when found in a neglectful partnership and in need of a reset to deter...
#196: Allowing those who want to leave to leave
20 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we are the ones who choose to cut ties with others and sometimes others are the ones who choose to cut ties with us. In this episode, I talk...
#195: (Re)training your body to experience good feelings
14 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Learning how to train your body and mind make way for the positives and to focus on good feelings can take some time. In this episode, Shena reviews 3...
#194: 3 Ways to Optimize Community (and how to find it)
06 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Our community is our lifeline when it comes to our healing. In this episode, I go over 3 ways to optimize the community you already have and also how ...
#193: Family boundaries, money trauma, explosive fights, sexual assault, situationship problems, queer dating and more! (Listener Q&A)
31 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Shena goes in depth in this listener Q&A. In this episode, Shena answers questions about:Boundaries in the midst of family dramaCoping with money ...
Join me in Portugal for our Fall Intensive!
31 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Click here to join us at our Fall 2023 Healed & Loved Woman Weekend Intensive on Friday, September 29, 2023 through Saturday, September 30, 2023...
#192: It’s time to work on what you’ve been avoiding
23 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this Episode Shena shares the importance of facing it all & how it is all connected for your betterment.Even though it's scary and eve...
#191: The 4 Seasons of Self Love (in Dating)
16 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode Shena talks about the 4 seasons of self love & what that looks like within our relationshipsReady to heal your Love Addiction &...
#190: 3 Mistakes I Made Dating as a Love Addict (Throwback)
09 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena revisitsEpisode #99 where she discusses 3 mistakes she made dating as a love addict.Get 20% off your order at LiquidIV.com by u...
#189: Mother Enmeshed Men
02 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In todays episode I talk about men who are emotionally enmeshed with their mothers, what it looks like, how it shows up for you if you are in a relati...
#188: Learning to Live in the Goodness
25 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about lessons learned in this current stage of relationships, places she's learned to receive, and how it's shown...
#187: The healing is in the repair
18 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena goes over how the evidence of healing is not in the absence of ruptures, but in he repairs.Ready to heal your Love Addiction &a...
#186: 7 Steps to Cope with a Situationship Breakup
11 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Even though situationships don't have an official title, breaking one up can still leave you feeling heartbroken. In this episode Shena shares why...
#185: No Contact + Surrendering in Relationships
03 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena will talk about the No Contact process and learning how to surrender in healthy romantic relationships vs projecting your traum...
#184: Emotional Anchors & Your Highest Level Self
29 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena discussed emotional anchors and how to connect to your highest level version of yourself as an emotional resource.Ready to heal...
#183: Stop Withholding Love and Be Love Available
21 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena discusses what does it look like to withhold love as a punishment, the consequences of it, and encouragement to move towards lo...
#182: Situationship Singlehood + Asking for What You Want
14 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about the reality of situationships without commitment and the importance to be clear and honest with yourself about what...
#180: Coping with Chronic illness (5 encouragements)
28 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode I open up about my journey living with a chronic illness and share encouragements in hope that it supports those with a similar experi...
#179: 3 Signs of an Expired Friendship
22 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes our friendships may be giving signs that we have outgrown them and they may be a bit toxic for us. In today's episode, we will review si...
#178: When They Undervalue You on Valentine's Day (or your Birthday, Anniversary, Etc...)
15 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Todays episode is a re-share of an old episode. It is totally okay for you if the holidays are important for you in a relationship. You deserve to fee...
#177: Secure Love vs Love Bombing vs Caretaking in Love Languages
07 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we're going to look at the difference between Secure Love vs Love Bombing vs Caretaking in the 5 love languages.This topic is in ...
#176: 3 Reasons Your No Contact Process is Not Working
01 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we follow up on our No Contact Process shared in Episode #160 to discuss the reasons why your no contact may not be working.Ready to ...
#175: Making the right decision for yourself on faith
24 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we are talking about making the right decision for yourself even when it goes against your internal fears & what you have always d...
#174: Healing our Womb & Pelvic Floor with Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas
18 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Todays episode is part of a womb work and healing series starting with the topic of the pelvic floor with one of my favourite Pelvic Physical Therapis...
#173: Betrayal Trauma Emotional Aftercare Support (Pt 2)
11 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena provides some aftercare support for Ep. 172 that talked about dealing with betrayal trauma for a partner who is struggling with...
#172: Dealing with Betrayal Trauma with a Sex Addicted Partner
10 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today's episode is about dealing with betrayal trauma when you're with a sex addicted partner. Also, how you can get the support as a sex addi...
#171: Going from Love Deprivation To Felt Love Worthiness (Stages Of Change)
03 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This in this episode I’m going to be talking about how to go from love Deprivation to Love Worthiness while I walk you through the stages that you c...
#170: Self Love and Dropping the Cape with Michelle Goodloe
29 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Michelle Goodloe joins us to talk about what is self love and how to drop the superwoman cape to feel our feelings.CONNECT WITH OUR G...
#169: The Sadness that is Going Around
24 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sadness is hitting many super heavy this season. In this episode, I talk about some trends I've noticed with this season of sadness.Ready to heal ...
#168: Take Your Time
21 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
This week I am re-sharing one of our most loved episodes all about the importance of taking our time in our healing process.Ready to heal your Love Ad...
#167: Humiliation as a Red Flag
08 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In your relationship, if a partner is humilating you, that is a red flag to pay attention to. Let's talk about what it looks like and why we may m...
#166: When The Person With all the Answers Falls Short
06 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about what it looks like when the person who's used to having all the answer falls short practices self acceptance an...
#165: 3 Things Learned from Coaching Women
30 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena talks about 3 things she has learned while building Black Girls Heal and coaching women.Click here to join the Heal(h)er Busine...
#164: The Art of Receiving
17 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we will talk about the art of receiving and what gets in the way.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here t...
#163: How childhood emotional neglect leads to love addiction
09 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode I talk about the impact of childhood emotional neglect and how it leads to the behaviours of love addictionWhether you are conn...
For Healers #1: 3 Beliefs for Healing Professionals to Challenge
07 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Being in the business of healing is hard - learning how to balance healing yourself while healing others.In this episode, I review 3 beliefs for your ...
#162: Dealing with Seasons of Conflict
01 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to deal when you are in a season of conflict. Whether it be with people from your past or in the prese...
#161: Going from Love Avoidant to Love Available
25 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode, we review going from Love Avoidant to Love Available using the Healed and Loved Woman framework model.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISOD...
#159: Don't Text Them (Sit on Your F'ing Hands)
11 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we're talking to anyone who is currently in a love addictive cycle and needs to pull back to reset and regain their sense of self...
Bonus Episode: October Catch Up with Shena
06 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this bonus episode, you can catch up with me about the things I am personally learning and applying in my life for pleasure, fun and healing that I...
#158: Heart to Heart: Not Losing Your Self in a New Relationship
04 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Shena coaches an audience member on how to not lose herself in her new relationship. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Av...
#157: Making Running the Household Fair with Laura Danger
30 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when running the household feels imbalanced, unfair, and it's causing discord with you and your partner?In this episode, Laura Danger...
#156: It Gets Better...
22 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we want to normalize that, even though the healing process can be difficult at first, it does get better and evens out.We hope breaki...
#155: Setting Unrealistic Expectations Based on Fantasy
13 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Can we "break our own heart" by creating unrealistic expectations for others based on our fantasies of who we want them to be?Let's talk a...
#154: The Healed and Loved Woman: From Love Addicted to Love Balanced
06 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's time for our annual recap of our Healed and Loved Woman Framework. In this episode, we talk about the characteristics of going from being Lov...
#153: When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant
30 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What does it look like to be available to others after you've been working on your love avoidance symptoms.In this episode, I share 3 tips for tho...
#152: When You Like Someone as a Love Addict
23 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What does it look like to be balanced and still available after you've been working on your love addiction symptoms.In this episode, I share 3 tip...
#151: Grieving Being Let Down at Your Big Events
16 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes family and loved ones don't rise to the occassion and show up for us as we need them to at our big events (i.e. weddings, graduations, b...
#150: Feeling Whatever You Need to Feel About Your Past Relationship
09 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When relationships do not work out (Friendship, romantic, familial, or otherwise) we can have a variety of emotional responses: neutrality, intense lo...
#149: Enabling vs Empowering
02 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about the difference between disempowering helping (enabling) and empowerment.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Av...
#148: Breaking the Habit of Self Criticism
28 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Pulling from the title of the book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself," we're talking about the importance of doing the actions that y...
#147: Hurt Feelings, Codependency, and Letting What I Give Be Enough
19 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Even healers can overgive and need to be mindful of triggers. I break down a recent event and how it triggered me and next steps I'm taking to mov...
Transitions
13 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Things are changing. It's time to grow.Our Sponsors:* Check out Infinite Epigenetics: https://infiniteepigenetics.com/BGH* Check out Mint Mobile: ...
#146: 5 Truths for Love Addicts Healing from Heartbreak
28 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Heartbreak is really hard for love addicts. Especially when we're still holding on. This episode is to give 5 truths for love addicts healing for ...
Now introducing our brother podcast, For the Fellas
19 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I'm sooo excited to share the debut of our brother podcast, For the Fellas Click here to listen now on Apple PodcastsFollow our website: forthefel...
#145: The Importance of Bids and Repairs in Your Relationship
14 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Pulling from the work of Dr. John Gottman, we talk about the importance of bids and repairs to the health of a relationships.Click here to learn more ...
#144: How to Let Your Partner Have Their Own Feelings
07 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your partner is their own person with their own feelings. But sometimes those feelings can be triggering to us even when they don't intend it to b...
#143: 5 Signs You Feel Protected in a Relationship
02 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
To feel protected in a relationship is one of the biggest blessings but should ALSO be a standard that you hold for every partnership and friendship y...
#142: Just checking in with you and sending love
26 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The last few weeks have been tough. I just wanted to send you all some love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to joi...
#141: Musings about ADHD, Diagnoses, and What Works for Me
17 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Touching base this week in a mini-epiosde talking about learning to take space to figure out what works for me with my ADHD.Ready to heal your Love Ad...
#140: Your Trauma and Your (Conflictual) Relationship w/ Your Daughter
03 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a mom and have a conflictual relationship with your daughter, part of it *might* be because your unresolved inner child wounds that resu...
#139: Grieving The Relationship You Never Had With Your Mother
26 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you have felt sad or disheartened because you haven't been able to build the relationship you want with your mother, this podcast is for you. L...
#138: Getting unstuck via self-forgiveness
19 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Let's break down was living in self forgiveness looks like so we can move forward!Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click he...
#137: 4 Ways to Exit Love Deprivation
13 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Let's take a deeper look at love deprivation including it's symptoms, the impact of withdrawal, and ways to exit the cycle.Enroll in The Loved...
#136: On Being Triggered (My Repair Episode)
31 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Let's talk about what it looks like when we're triggered, how we respond, and healthier next steps to take.This episode is a replacement of th...
#135: Inspiration for You - Bodywork Healing, Motivation, and the Power Inside
22 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We're drawing from our text inspiration messages for this week's episode. We hope you find it inspirational!Ready to heal your Love Addiction ...
#134: Lessons Learned from Divorcing
15 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Making the right decision for yourself is hard, and it can make you go through a lot of back and forth. In today's episode, I talk about some les...
#133: Finding Your Voice in Your Recovery Journey
08 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
As you're recovering, it takes so much work and inner reflection to find your voice and what's true for YOU and the relationships you want to ...
#132: Asking for What You Need Emotionally in Friendships
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
To maintain safety and love with your relationships, it's important for you to know how to ask for what you need emotionalyl when sharing with you...
#131: Fighting Perfectionism with Dr. Marcuetta Sims
22 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Dr. Marcuetta Sims breaks down what perfectionism looks like in our lives and how to work through it.Ready to heal your Love Addictio...
#130: When They Undervalue You on Valentine's Day (or you Birthday, Anniversary, Etc...)
15 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It is totally okay for you if the holidays are important for you in a relationship. You deserve to feel special.This episode is in support of women wh...
#129: Being a Healed and Loved Woman
08 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We are recapping the Healed and Loved Woman Framework to embody being balanced, available, and worthy in our relationships. Click here to join us at ...
#127: Internalized Misogyny & Love Addiction
25 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In a current social trend that is pushing misogyny at length as self help, in this episode, we're looking at some common examples of internalized ...
#126: 5 Things I'm Doing to Cultivate Friendships
11 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Five things I'm currently doing to cultivate my friendships in this season in spite of avoidant tendencies.Ready to heal your Love Addiction &...
Checking In - It's Okay to be Tired (Covid related)
06 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's okay to be over it. Checking in a little bit.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery Scho...
#124: Why You Gotta Take a Break!
07 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Rest is SOOO important. It's really about how we treat ourselves and how we feel about ourselves.We talk about how not resting is a fight or fligh...
#122: The 3 Things You Don't Need to Apologize For
23 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
There are three things we never need to apologize for. Our boundaries, our identity, and our voice are so important and valuable to us. Ready to heal...
#121: When You're Afraid to Try Again in Relationships
16 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you been procrastinating putting yourself out there and making yourself available to get to know others? Then this one is for you. It's time ...