Black Girls Heal
Episodes
#120: Why Your Deep Intimacy & Trust Should be Earned
03 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Opening up and building trust to others is super important. But also so is being discriminate with who you allow into your heart.In this episode, I ta...
#119: When You Realize You Were the Toxic One
27 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when you realize you were the toxic one in a relationship? Let's talk about what it can look like here and also some steps for you ...
#118: 3 Things I Learned from The Healed and Loved Woman Retreat (About Fear and Hiding)
19 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I recap the things I learned from the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat about fear, hiding, and the importance of sisterhood. Ready to ...
#117: How to Host a Relationship Check-In
12 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about how to host a relationship check in with your family, friendship, and romantic partnerships. Grab a pen and paper to ge...
#116: Coping When Family and Loved Ones Think Negatively of You
05 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become l...
#115: Answering Your Questions (Part 1)
28 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're answering listener questions in today's episode! Today's questions talk about addiction, trauma bonds, family conflict, and dating!R...
#114: Financial Complacency and Abandonment as a Red Flag
21 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become l...
#113: Why Love Addicts are Actually Avoidant
14 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Love Addiction and Love Avoidance are different sides of the same coin and have the same goal in mind. Let's talk about it today!Ready to heal you...
#112: What to Keep in Mind When You Miss Red Flags
07 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve missed red flags in a relationship, it’s completely and totally okay. There is no shame in having missed the signs and suddenly realizin...
#111: 3 Ways to Know You’ve Grown and are Healthier
31 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It’s time to give yourself a pat on the back. One of the things we as women, but especially Black women, don’t do often enough is recognize when w...
#110: 4 Ways to Not be Codependent as a Healer
24 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I’m sharing these tips for anyone who is a professional healer. Those of you who are therapists, coaches, crystal workers, healers of all sorts, lis...
#109: Being Healed and Loved Woman at All Times
17 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It’s that time again. It’s time for a refresher on what it means to be a healed and loved woman as developed in our three part framework. Listen i...
#108: How to Make Adult Female Friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson
10 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Why is it so difficult for some women to find and maintain healthy female friendships? Joining me today is Danielle Bayard Jackson, The Friendship Exp...
#107: Things I Learned During my Hiatus (Adult ADHD, Connecting, Feminine Energy, & More)
03 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I’m back! It’s been a little over a month since I dropped a podcast episode and I've taken the time to do some deep soul searching. Listen in ...
Summer break is loading!
24 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I'm going on vacation!Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching pr...
#106: When They Break Up With You Because You ‘Deserve Better’
22 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Something I see a lot with the women that I serve is this stressful and conflicting scenario of hearing the phrase “you deserve someone better”. T...
#105: Going Thru Transition is Okay
15 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It seems like we're all in a place of transition right now, trying to determine our new normal. Hear some encouragement about why transitioning i...
#104: The 12-Step Experience for Sex and Love Addicts
08 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Personally speaking, my experience with the 12-step philosophy for sex and love addicts was so healing and helpful. You might not be aware, but there ...
#103: How to Know When You Are Done with Your Healing Process
01 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most common questions I get from my clients as we start working together is “how do I know when this is all going to be over?” The trut...
#102: 3 Mistakes Made as a Love Avoidant in Marriage
25 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re finishing up our series on mistakes that I’ve made in my intimacy disorders and my relationship history. In this episode, I’m s...
#101: 3 Mistakes Made as a Love Addict in Marriage
18 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
So many of the teachings that I share on this podcast are targeted situations for single women. This week, I’m talking about how intimacy disorders,...
#100: 3 Mistakes I Made Dating as a Love Avoidant
12 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When I was dating, I made a lot of mistakes related to how I presented in my intimacy disorders. This week, I'm talking about how my love avoidanc...
#99: 3 Mistakes I Made Dating as a Love Addict
06 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Our intimacy disorders show up in different ways at different stages of our relationships. In this episode, I recount some ways that my love addiction...
#98: The Importance of Self Care f/ Les Alfred
29 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Knowing how to prioritize ourselves and practice self care is SO important for our healing process. In this episode, Les Alfred of Balanced Black Girl...
#97: Identifying Codependent Patterns in Your Everyday Life
22 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We can be codependent in many other areas outside of our interpersonal relationships. In this episode, we will break down what that may look like. ...
# 96: Grieving Childlessness by Singleness & Circumstance
15 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talking about how women who want to have children biologically can cope with childlessness by circumstance. Our amazing guest Yvon...
#95: For the Fellas: Black Men, Trauma, Intimacy, & Connecting
13 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we're going to talk about trauma and how it shows up in men, impacts their self worth and their relationships. The episode is cr...
#94: Our Relationship With Food, Trauma, and Self Soothing f/ Dr. Ebony Butler
08 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about body love, the connection between food and trauma, and the importance of unlearning diet culture.CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST...
#93: Healing Your Mother Wound
23 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Our mother relationship is our first relationship as we come into this world. As a result, if we have unresolved trauma, it will manifest in how we se...
#92: How to Tell if a Relationship is Safe For Your Healing
18 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How can we tell if a relationship, institution, coach, or influencer is safe for our healing? Let's talk about it in today's episode. Ready...
#91: Dimming Your Light For Self Protection
09 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you beco...
#90: 5 Reasons You Need to Apologize
02 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to embodying a Healed and Loved Woman to have healthy relationships, self accountability, honesty, and apologies are part of the deal. I...
#89: Coping + When It's Hard to Let Go (Reshare)
23 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As we recover from the 2021 Texas Winter Storm, we're resharing one of our most popular episodes. In support of any listeners who are also recover...
#88: Self Care While Dating with Francesca Hogi
17 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
For single women who are actively dating or considering dating, self care is crucial as the dating experience can be so triggering. Join me and France...
#87: Connecting to Black Women After Being Rejected for Not Being Black Enough
11 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you grew up in a mostly white or non-black setting and experienced peer trauma for "not being Black enough," sometimes it shows up as fear ...
#86: 5 Reasons You Need to Heal in a Group
05 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become l...
#85: Healed and Loved Meditation & Affirmations
28 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're wrapping up the last part of the Healed and Loved Woman series with a short meditation and affirmations for you to use in your daily life to...
#84: From Love Deprived to Love Worthy (Re-Uploaded)
23 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
For our last component of the Healed and Loved Woman Framework, we are looking at going from love deprivation to feeling love worthy. Ready to heal...
#83: From Love Avoidant to Love Available
17 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we're looking at the second component of the Healed and Loved Woman Framework™, how to go from being love avoidant t...
#82: From Love Addicted to Love Balanced
06 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're breaking down the Healed and Loved Woman Framework starting with the first diamond - Being Love Balanced vs Love Addicted. Ready to heal yo...
#81: Coping with Lack of Closure
29 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To close out the year, we're going to talk about how to gain closure in different types of relationships where closure may not be possible. We hop...
#80: 8 Lessons I Learned in 2020
22 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I review 8 lessons I learned in 2020 and what I'm taking with me and Black Girls Heal into 2021. Ready to heal your Love Addicti...
#79: Lessons Learned Healing from Love Avoidance [Student Highlight]
16 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, our student, Rolanda, shares her story, inspiration, and hope that she's found healing from love addiction. Sis is a story teller...
#78: Dating After Heartbreak
09 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've had your heart broken and you're trying to determine if you even want to date again, we talked about three possible mindset shifts f...
#77: Getting Ahead of Her Codependency [Student Highlight]
01 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become l...
#76: 3 Reasons Self Love is the Best Love
26 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to the "right" type of love, focusing on our self love is the best love we can give ourselves this holiday season. In this epis...
#75: Make Your Family Support Plan (for the Holidays)
24 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Let's do this! It's the holidays and you need support on how to make the most out of this time. If that's you, listen to this episode to l...
#74: 3 Mistakes From Not Owning Your Value
17 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's important that in ALL things you own your value - relationships, dreams, career, and beyond. In this episode, I talk about 3 mistakes that h...
#73: Processing of Post-Election Disappointment in Supposed Allies
11 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I process my post election disappointment in supposed allies and how I'm coping with that. For more tips on coping, look at epis...
#72: 10 Points of Healing for a Love Addict
03 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ready for a checklist of items to look out for when healing from love addiction to becoming a healed and loved woman? If so, I GOT YOU!Check out this ...
#71: How to Be a Good Girlfriend
27 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we are pulling lessons from iconic tv shows about life, friendship, and love. Today, we are taking a deep dive into the pilot episode...
#70: What if I Can't Get Better [Student Highlight]
20 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
You're doing your healing process (or you're thinking about starting) and you have this fear about what if I can't get better? What if thi...
#69: The 4 Types of Love Addicts
13 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Not all intimacy disorders are created equal. In this podcast episode, we talk about the 4 different types of love addicts!Ready to heal your Love Add...
#68: Mindfulness & Healing Your Trauma f Valerie Ritchie
06 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When healing the trauma that causes disruption in how we connect to others and ourselves, we have to start with paying attention to our bodies and wha...
#67: When You're the Friend Who Can't Get it RIght
30 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Are you the friend who constantly has relationship issues and you can't get it right? Feeling some shame about it and as if you're permanently...
#66: Changing and Learning New Lessons
22 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In our life, we are GOING to change, and we have to adjust with those transitions along with learn the lessons that stage is trying to teach us. We d...
#65: You're Worth It (Student Highlight)
16 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we have a student highlight and then focus on the fact that YOU are worth it and the stories that may get in the way of us believing ...
#64: Stop Testing Yourself
08 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about walking the fine line of going back to old behaviors (and relationships) to test yourself and see if you've healed....
#63: Take Your Time
25 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We can be impatient with our healing process, but it's so important for us to take our time. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoid...
#62: Therapy vs Coaching When Healing From Love Addiction
11 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you are wanting to do coaching while you do therapy or vice versa to heal from love addiction, this episode is for you. Shena breaks down the diff...
#61: The Four Communication Styles with Kourtney Dubois
04 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Let's talk about how we communicate and where it comes from! In this podcast episode, we talk with Relationship Coach Kourtney Dubois about how to...
#60: Grieving Who You Thought They Were
28 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When you have to face the truth of a relationship, you will experience some sadness. We dig into that truth in this week's episode. Ready to he...
#59: Why They're Treating You the Way They're Treating You
21 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
You were so in love, but things have changed. Y'all were best friends, but now it feels like she betrayed you. And while things change in relati...
#58: Living A life With Regrets
14 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Many of us can relate to having a few regrets. But what happens when you feel frozen by them and ruminate?In this episode, we talk about moving forwar...
#57: Dealing with Feeling Unsatisfied (Student Highlight w/ Tahirah)
07 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we deal with feeling empty and unsatisfied. Sometimes we don't even realize it! In this week's episode, we dive into exactly what fe...
#56: Starting a Healing Circle
24 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we break down how to start creating your own healing circles. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here t...
#55: Practicing Gratitude (Even When It's Hard)
18 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A new episodeReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help...
#54: Building Supportive Friendships for Healing
10 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to healing intimacy disorders, you HAVE to have a good group of friends to support you. In this podcast episode, I talk about how to dis...
#53: Healing Our Unavailable Relationship with Whiteness
02 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We have a dysfunctional relationship right now with whiteness & white supremacy. In this episode, I talk about it and 5 steps to heal from the imp...
#52: Make the Decision to Start (Student Highlight)
26 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes the hardest decision is to start... especially if everything looks like it is going well. In this episode, we look at how this showed up fo...
#51: Who Do You Want to Be in Your Relationship
19 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Continuing our "Couples Month" focus in May, this week, we're talking about how to focus on who you want to be and how you want to show up...
BONUS: This One is About Racial Trauma
14 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Racial trauma hits different. It goes deep, affects our bodies, and our peace. In this episode, I talk about how it's been affecting me, and some...
#50: 3 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Relationship
12 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
So you have a relationship and you want to make sure you do your part to keep it healthy even though you struggle with an intimacy disorder? Awesome! ...
#49: The 4 Things Breaking Up Your Relationship
05 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to improving our relationship health, we have to look at OUR part and what we may be contributing to the relationship. We'll be digg...
#48: 3 Ways to Know It's Safe to Reconnect
29 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If there's someone in your life you're wanting to reconnect with (or them with you), this episode is for you to determine if it is safe for yo...
#47: You Can't "Practice" With Unhealthy People
14 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Someone people hang onto people that they shouldn't so they can "practice" their communication and boundary skills on them. In this episod...
#46: Understanding and Honoring Your Trauma Response
07 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone deals with stress and trauma a little differently... and that's okay.Take a listen to this podcast episode to learn more about your respo...
#45 - Why You Can't Take Everyone's Advice
01 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about why it's so important to talk to people who get it. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click...
#44: A Reminder in Case You Need It
25 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In case you need a reminder of your worth and encouragement to keep moving, here it is! Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click...
#43: Looking for Corona Bae, Swiping, and Coping with Current Stressors
17 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In the words of Cardi B, "[Things] are getting real." Some of us are going to have a lot more time with ourselves and some of us are going to ...
#42: Wanting (Needing) to be Loved is Not Being Spoiled
10 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We have an unclear definition of what it means to be spoiled and the words that we speak over each other. We talk about it this episode!Ready to heal ...
#41: Is Shame Controlling You?
03 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about if your shame is controlling you and if you're reacting outwardly or inwardly. We also dig into whether or not you ...
#40: How to Connect Without Losing Yourself
25 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, even when you want to connect and let your walls down, fear gets in the way. We talk about it here! Ready to heal your Love Addiction &...
#39: Healing Intellectual Trauma (Student Highlight)
18 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Intellectual trauma can impact how we show up in the world, how we feel about ourselves, and truly block us. In this podcast episode, I help one of my...
#38: The Label DOES Matter
11 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When working to have clarity in your relationships, first thing we gotta start with is the label. In this episode, we talk about why labels DO matter ...
#37: Maybe It's You
04 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've battled with consistent relationship issues, instead of look at how other people may be the issue, it might be important to look at your...
#36: Sex as an Attachment Issue
23 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've struggled with some issues with regards to your sexuality and sex life, it may be based on your attachment and unresolved trauma.I talk ...
#35: Avoiding Our Personal Potholes
14 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do you learn from your mistakes? How do you avoid falling into your own personal potholes? We talk about it in this episode!Ready to heal your Lo...
#34: You Can Change Your Mind
07 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Part of healing includes knowing you can change your mind! Let's talk about it today! Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Cli...
#33: You Have the Power
31 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
YOU have the power to change your life. You are your own superhero.Love you so much and Happy New Year!Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Av...
#32: Top 5 Episodes of 2019
24 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Whether your a newbie or a Day 1, this episode is going to recap the most popular podcast episodes of 2019 and give you a place to start should you be...
#31: Creating Your Own Traditions
17 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a love addict and are feeling the pain this holiday season waiting for when your time will come, this episode is for you!Take a listen a...
#30: My Top 2 (Conflict) Communication Tips
12 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In time for the holiday season, I'm sharing my top two communication tips to help you share what you're feeling and avoid escalating conflict....
#29: 3 Things to Keep in Mind When Making A Mistake
03 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Oof!! Have you ever messed up and battled with shame on how it made you look, what it meant about you, and if you could ever recover?If so, this epis...
#28: Boundary Hangovers
26 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Ever feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt after setting boundaries with someone? Don't worry! You're normal. We talk about it more in this episod...
#27: Ask Shena #1: Staying Present in a Healthy Relationship, Managing Fears and Expectations of Motherhood
19 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
We are starting a new segment of the podcast called "Ask Shena" where listeners get a chance to have a mini-call with Shena. This episode, be...
#26: False Intimacy
15 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do you move quickly too soon in relationships? Ever wonder why? Take a listen to this episode to pause, regroup, and learn how to build intimacy in a ...
#25: Trauma Bonds
05 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Trauma bonds! Where do they come from? Why are they so hard to get rid up? What's the difference between a trauma bond and being in love. We did ...
#24: The Importance of Self Forgiveness
29 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Forgiveness isn't just something we do for and with other people. Forgiveness is a critical part of self healing and recovery. We did into differe...
#23: 3 Traps We Fall Into When Forgiving Others
22 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we do a quick breakdown of the importance of forgiveness for our healing process. We also dig into 3 traps we fall into when forgivin...