You're not doing anything wrong, but STOP PLEADING with a drinker. It won't work for you as it will leave you hurt and emotionally exhausted. Pleading also leaves the drinker feeling even more guilty. This can actually drive them to drink more. A drinker doesn't need reminding of how bad they are, but actually the potential they have to be a good person. IN any other circumstances your behaviours might work, but remember, you're pleading with a person who has an addiction.In this new series Lou and John look at Stop Policing the drinker. One of the four Ps (Picking a fight, Punishing, Policing and Pleading). They do not work, so don't do them.If your words aren't getting through to a drinker, you may well take action. Through anxiety this action often comes in the form of Policing the drinking. Searching for alcohol around the house? Every family member has probably done that! Negotiating with a drinker? You may well have done so – trying to limit the amount of alcohol in the house, or drunk in the pub. All your reactions and behaviour are entirely understandable, but, they do not work on the drinker, and they can leave you feeling tired, anxious, exhausted, hypervigilant, depressed, or hopeless. Policing doesn't work, so don't do it.Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.comFor advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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