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Brooke and Jeffrey

Battle of the Tinder Dates (4/15/26)

15 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the premise of the Battle of the Tinder Dates?

0.031 - 15.316 Michael Easter

2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.

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15.336 - 22.748 Unknown

Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

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23.15 - 30.965 Michael Easter

Listen to 2%, that's T-W-O percent, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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34.111 - 42.988 Alexis

Two hopeless daters. One dating app that dares you to swipe right. The question is, whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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43.208 - 43.268

Ah!

44.058 - 52.946 Brooke

It's the dating game show that encourages you to add cha-cha slide to your bedroom playlist. Really? Take it back now, y'all, for Battle of the Tinder Dates.

52.966 - 55.648 Unknown

That's not very sexy. Slide to the left.

55.668 - 76.808 Brooke

No. Some people need instructions. It's helpful. Where two of our listeners square off to find out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first, let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, her number one turn-on is comparing health insurance plans and asking how big his HSA is. Meet Medica Jessica.

80.912 - 83.594 Jose

Hey, hey, how's it going? Can't wait to hear about your date.

Chapter 2: Who are the contestants sharing their Tinder date stories?

190.887 - 200.311 Submarine Colleen

Yeah. Yes. Like, it's disgusting. And you know what? That's weird, but it got worse. We ordered food. He got a steak. And then he asked our bartender if they could blend it for him.

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201.394 - 203.894 Jose

Ew! Why can't he chew it?

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203.914 - 211.208 Submarine Colleen

After he already had his protein powder? Oh, my God. He said that it would make his digestion smoother. Oh. A blended shake.

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211.449 - 216.959 Jose

I mean, it works for babies. Yeah. Okay. Matt's going to start carrying around an immersion blender.

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217.019 - 222.109 Brooke

Those babies are pretty ripped, too, so maybe there's something to it. Medica, Jessica, we're back to you.

222.089 - 244.587 Medica Jessica

okay i had a great date with this guy and so afterwards we go back to his place and we pull up to a nice big house and i'm like oh okay but then he tells me that it's his parents home and his spot is in the backyard okay okay sometimes there's like a little like casita or something in the back of those big houses that's very hopeful thinking brooke she's trying to be positive

244.904 - 251.491 Medica Jessica

Yeah, that's what I thought. So we go back there, and it's a little shed with a candle, a beanbag, and a window.

252.952 - 255.996 Jose

Honey, that's not a shed. That's a playhouse.

256.076 - 259.239 Brooke

Exactly. We're continuing to see the optimism. Okay.

Chapter 3: What was Medica Jessica's most awkward Tinder date experience?

305.164 - 305.545 Submarine Colleen

What happened?

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305.565 - 306.246 Brooke

I didn't realize.

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306.607 - 323.089 Submarine Colleen

Huh. So I ended up changing my order, and I apologized. I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I didn't realize you were Italian. Oh, wow. Oh, because he's Italian. Wait, but no, get this. He says, wait, no, I'm not Italian, but I've seen The Godfather like 15 times, so I consider myself an honorary paisano.

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323.47 - 334.885 Brooke

I think the threshold is 12 watches, and you're basically Italian. What do you think I'm eating, 10 pounds of gabagool? All right, we're on to the third and final round here. We need your best stories, ladies. So Medica Jessica, hit us with it.

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335.168 - 342.375 Medica Jessica

So I talked to a guy about how I like to paint, and he planned a surprise date that would have revolved around my love of art.

342.635 - 345.278 Brooke

That's cute. That's awesome.

345.298 - 355.468 Medica Jessica

Yeah. Until I showed up to the address he texted me. It was a kid's birthday party, and he tells me that I was going to be the featured face painter.

358.11 - 361.193 Jose

No. That's awful. Is it his kid or a random kid? Oh, my God.

361.325 - 369.896 Medica Jessica

No, it was just like a kid that he knew. Oh. After three hours, I only got paid a cake.

Chapter 4: What unusual item did Colleen's date bring to the bar?

421.072 - 424.056 Jose

I'm sorry. I got to go, Colleen, for liquid steak.

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425.819 - 444.449 Brooke

Okay. We're all tied up. Jose, you're the deciding vote. I think getting roped into being the featured face painter is awesome. Jessica, you win. All right, Medica, Jessica. Yes, congratulations. You're our forsaken female of the week. And as a prize, Brooke will tell you her go-to children's movie to hook up to.

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444.71 - 449.457 Jose

Oh, my goodness. I can't wait. Wild Robot is great.

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449.658 - 451.481 Brooke

No, it's Wild Robot. Off the air.

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451.801 - 455.507 Jose

Don't pay for that one. It's new. That's why you know they're in a good movie.

455.487 - 464.337 Brooke

All right, well, take that for what it is. Text in 78592 if you want to appear on the next Battle of the Tinder Dates. Your phone tap's coming up right after this.

464.578 - 479.335 Michael Easter

2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.

479.635 - 487.052 Unknown

put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

487.614 - 495.552 Michael Easter

Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O percent on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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