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Chapter 1: What is the premise of the Battle of the Tinder Dates?
2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.
Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.
Listen to 2%, that's T-W-O percent, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Two hopeless daters. One dating app that dares you to swipe right. The question is, whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.
Ah!
It's the dating game show that encourages you to add cha-cha slide to your bedroom playlist. Really? Take it back now, y'all, for Battle of the Tinder Dates.
That's not very sexy. Slide to the left.
No. Some people need instructions. It's helpful. Where two of our listeners square off to find out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first, let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, her number one turn-on is comparing health insurance plans and asking how big his HSA is. Meet Medica Jessica.
Hey, hey, how's it going? Can't wait to hear about your date.
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Chapter 2: Who are the contestants sharing their Tinder date stories?
Yeah. Yes. Like, it's disgusting. And you know what? That's weird, but it got worse. We ordered food. He got a steak. And then he asked our bartender if they could blend it for him.
Ew! Why can't he chew it?
After he already had his protein powder? Oh, my God. He said that it would make his digestion smoother. Oh. A blended shake.
I mean, it works for babies. Yeah. Okay. Matt's going to start carrying around an immersion blender.
Those babies are pretty ripped, too, so maybe there's something to it. Medica, Jessica, we're back to you.
okay i had a great date with this guy and so afterwards we go back to his place and we pull up to a nice big house and i'm like oh okay but then he tells me that it's his parents home and his spot is in the backyard okay okay sometimes there's like a little like casita or something in the back of those big houses that's very hopeful thinking brooke she's trying to be positive
Yeah, that's what I thought. So we go back there, and it's a little shed with a candle, a beanbag, and a window.
Honey, that's not a shed. That's a playhouse.
Exactly. We're continuing to see the optimism. Okay.
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Chapter 3: What was Medica Jessica's most awkward Tinder date experience?
What happened?
I didn't realize.
Huh. So I ended up changing my order, and I apologized. I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I didn't realize you were Italian. Oh, wow. Oh, because he's Italian. Wait, but no, get this. He says, wait, no, I'm not Italian, but I've seen The Godfather like 15 times, so I consider myself an honorary paisano.
I think the threshold is 12 watches, and you're basically Italian. What do you think I'm eating, 10 pounds of gabagool? All right, we're on to the third and final round here. We need your best stories, ladies. So Medica Jessica, hit us with it.
So I talked to a guy about how I like to paint, and he planned a surprise date that would have revolved around my love of art.
That's cute. That's awesome.
Yeah. Until I showed up to the address he texted me. It was a kid's birthday party, and he tells me that I was going to be the featured face painter.
No. That's awful. Is it his kid or a random kid? Oh, my God.
No, it was just like a kid that he knew. Oh. After three hours, I only got paid a cake.
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Chapter 4: What unusual item did Colleen's date bring to the bar?
I'm sorry. I got to go, Colleen, for liquid steak.
Okay. We're all tied up. Jose, you're the deciding vote. I think getting roped into being the featured face painter is awesome. Jessica, you win. All right, Medica, Jessica. Yes, congratulations. You're our forsaken female of the week. And as a prize, Brooke will tell you her go-to children's movie to hook up to.
Oh, my goodness. I can't wait. Wild Robot is great.
No, it's Wild Robot. Off the air.
Don't pay for that one. It's new. That's why you know they're in a good movie.
All right, well, take that for what it is. Text in 78592 if you want to appear on the next Battle of the Tinder Dates. Your phone tap's coming up right after this.
2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.
put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.
Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O percent on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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