FULL SHOW: Funeral Excuse Confession, Don’t Propose Textual Healing + WORST Anthem Ever (8/6/26)

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Brooke and Jeffrey 1h 11m 7 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the opening segment and who are the hosts introducing the show?

Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:00
Hey, Portlandia fans.
Gracie Abrams 0:01
Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:03
The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.
Corey (Parks) 0:06
We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:18
And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here.
Corey (Parks) 0:32
You fully improvised not just words, but a song, a melody.
Paul Pabst 0:35
Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.
Gracie Abrams 0:37
I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 0:47
What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay.
Corey (Parks) 0:51
And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and iHeart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka showing out. Shout-outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashawn Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift. And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports.
Unknown 1:12
Listen to Everyone Watches Women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Corey (Parks) 1:19
Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode, we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers.
Paul Pabst 1:30
The show's famously super accessible, so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on.
Corey (Parks) 1:36
We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McBride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steenburgen.
Paul Pabst 1:41
Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Unknown 1:47
I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now.
Gracie Abrams 2:22
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 2:24
Every week, the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.
Unknown 2:31
Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 2:52
All right, you found it. The full show is here. Hopefully we're going to make you laugh in the next hour. Welcome to the Brooke and Jeffrey podcast. Hi, I'm Jeff from Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Corey (Parks) 3:03
Oh, Jeff.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:04
And I'm still receiving emails and messages about yesterday's shock collar intro.
Corey (Parks) 3:10
Oh, no. Why?
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:11
Because apparently I helped out a lot of listeners when I boldly delivered the message, don't put a Q-tip in your ear. Oh. A message that had been around for 20 years. You want to just let that sink in again, guys? I know at least one of my co-hosts here was like, hey, Jeff, this is old information. Nobody wants to hear about this. We're wasting time. But I'm going to read a text that came in to 78592. I bet you are.
Corey (Parks) 3:40
Oh, boy.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:40
It says, dear Jeff. I bought a box of Q-tips the other day for me and my husband.
Corey (Parks) 3:45
Wow.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:46
But because of your enlightening piece of news with expert opinion and analysis, we've since thrown them out.

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