Masked Speaker: Careless Catfisher
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What confession does the masked speaker share about online dating?
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I am... The Masked Speed. Text to 78592 says, I started learning German on Duolingo. I have zero intention of ever visiting Germany. I did it just so I could look street evangelists dead in the eye and pretend I don't speak English. You would think you'd want to pick a language of a place you wanted to visit, though. That'd be more helpful, probably. We don't sprecken the Deutsch here, but we do sprecken your confessions on the mass speaker. Ooh. while we change your voice to help keep you anonymous for it. And we've got a guy on the phone who wants to come clean using the fake name Mike today. So, Michael, welcome to the show and stop. Oh, Michael. How are you, my friend? Das ist stimmt.
Hey, hey, how's it going, guys?
It's good. The voice changer is on. You are our mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, in English or whatever language you want, let's hear your confession.
I'll tell you to give you English today. Perfect.
Don't make it easier on some of the listeners.
I think so.
What do you got?
Yeah, so a few years ago, I was on the dating apps and I was not thriving. My bio was like, I'm 5'9", I love board games, bike rides.
That's like the opposite of why you're not 6'1". I mean, it's interesting that you started with, you led with board games is maybe part of the issue.
Yeah, basically it wasn't the coolest profile. So literally no woman matched with me like ever.
See, that's why you can't be honest on those things. Not fully honest. You've got to stretch the truth a little bit. I mean, it's like a job resume.
All in all, it was really difficult for me to process because I'm not an ugly guy.
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