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Brooke and Jeffrey

Phone Tap: Little Spreadsheet Skank

20 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What prank call sets the stage for the episode?

0.892 - 17.436 Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas

Hey guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

0

17.737 - 28.873 Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas

Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but you know. Tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

0

29.41 - 40.59 Brooke and Jeffrey

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

0

Chapter 2: What are the rules about office relationships discussed in the prank?

40.73 - 59.934 Brooke and Jeffrey

This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0

59.954 - 74.977 Dani Shapiro

Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.

0

75.557 - 82.346 Unknown

He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him.

0

82.727 - 89.235 Dani Shapiro

Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0

89.789 - 100.248 Dr. Maya Shankar

Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans.

100.709 - 120.422 Unknown

I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program.

120.782 - 127.052 Dr. Maya Shankar

Listen to A Slight Change of Plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Chapter 3: How does the prank caller address PDA in the workplace?

127.336 - 149.687 Unknown

Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing and honestly just kind of lonely. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the psychology of your 20s is breaking down the science behind the biggest roadblocks we face. I was six years into my career, the 80-hour weeks and just the first one in, the last one out, and I ended up burning out.

0

149.727 - 169.577 Unknown

There was a large chunk of my 20s that I was just so wanting to be out of that phase, out of my skin, and I just really regret not living in the present more. You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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169.928 - 176.256 Brooke and Jeffrey

It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And they always say don't drink from the company ink.

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177.218 - 181.283 Brooke and Jeffrey

Or no. Wait. No, don't stick your pencil in the office sharpener.

181.463 - 181.763 Unknown

No.

181.904 - 182.444 Brooke and Jeffrey

What's it saying?

182.464 - 184.127 Unknown

The toner cartridge, I think.

184.147 - 192.898 Brooke and Jeffrey

Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Is that it? Yeah. Yes. Jose got it. Don't dip your pen in the company's stuff. Anyway, one guy decided he was going to do that.

Chapter 4: What unexpected guidelines are revealed during the call?

230.498 - 242.19 Brooke and Jeffrey

Libby? Yes, correct, yes. Nice. Excuse me? Looks like somebody got there before I could. Bravo. Bravo.

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244.668 - 270.928 Brooke and Jeffrey

what i'm just joking with you it's fun to have a little bit of humor before i get to the real reason for my call which is that as a couple now you and libby will fall under a different set of office guidelines okay yeah so i just needed to go over that with you real quick so do you have a pen handy yeah go ahead yeah all right so first of all we do need to address pda in the office sure

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271.246 - 297.844 Brooke and Jeffrey

Obviously, we don't want to make other people uncomfortable. So side hugs are permitted, but only at a 45 degree angle for under one and a half seconds. Are you being serious? Those are the rules. Anything more than that is going to come across as kind of lewd. Okay. Or like show-offy. Oh, look at us, so in love in front of all the other employees. That's the reaction you're going to get.

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298.184 - 312.327 Brooke and Jeffrey

Just absolute puke. Okay, well, we don't do much of that at work anyway, so I wouldn't imagine that would be much of an issue anyway. Yeah, but, you know, just for some people. I mean, me personally, I'd be cheering you on. Go behind the copier. Can you tell me what your name was again?

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312.347 - 312.647 Dr. Maya Shankar

I'm sorry.

313.308 - 331.652 Brooke and Jeffrey

Chad Kroger. Chad, yeah. Because we work at a financial institution, I do get a lot of jokes about how, Chad Kroger, you got a nickelback bank. Okay. That's probably where you thought we were going with this. I actually wasn't, but yeah. Let's go back to the relationship guidelines.

331.672 - 356.443 Brooke and Jeffrey

So any shared lunch breaks that you and Libby have together that last longer than 22 minutes, it will be perceived as you two getting after it. Hold on. Are you kidding me? I mean, that seems extreme because it's not even a thing that we'd. would necessarily be doing. You're saying that people would just be thinking that? I mean, I'd be thinking it. I'm picturing it right now, actually.

357.285 - 361.217 Brooke and Jeffrey

But it is against company rules, so try to keep those lunches under 22.

Chapter 5: How does the prank caller handle awkward moments during the call?

361.839 - 378.716 Brooke and Jeffrey

You should be good. Okay, yeah. I'm just hearing from your tone. Do you have a problem with this? No. There's a lot of pushback. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I know that I'm part of the organization, and I should, you know, yes. Thank you. And look, I know we've discussed a lot of restrictions, but there are some benefits.

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378.736 - 383.786 Brooke and Jeffrey

Like, for example, if you fill out a form, the company does provide free ED pills.

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384.427 - 407.899 Brooke and Jeffrey

Oh, my God. Is there anything else? This seems like a lot. Oh, you already have a supplier for that. I see. All right. Sorry to take up your time, but trying to help you. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that. No, I know what you meant. I get it. Just my last thing, and this comes directly from your supervisor, pet names are totally okay if she wants to call you Daddy or Stallion.

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407.939 - 425.238 Brooke and Jeffrey

Excuse me? Something tame. But you're not allowed to cross the line and call her something like my little spreadsheet s**t. Oh, my God. Keep the one for behind closed doors. I feel like that's crossing a line. I mean, this is so inappropriate. You're using language that I would never even consider using.

425.499 - 425.639 Unknown

Sure.

426.119 - 436.61 Brooke and Jeffrey

Maybe you wouldn't use it, but Libby would. No, I don't think she would. She would. She asked me to use that specific phrase in this prank phone call that we're doing on you right now. Yeah, I don't.

Chapter 6: What humorous responses does the recipient give to the prank?

438.052 - 461.367 Brooke and Jeffrey

What'd you say? Are you just catching on now that this is a prank and you're on the radio with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning? What? Your girlfriend, Libby, set you up for this. She said that you're really nervous about disclosing your relationship to HR. I am curious, which office relationship guideline was your favorite? I don't know. I don't know.

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461.387 - 481.292 Brooke and Jeffrey

I was parsing out how I would hug for a second or whatever it was. Yeah, well, you'd have to time it if you're dating the little spreadsheet. Oh, my God. It's so inappropriate. You can steal the nickname, though, if you want to. No, it's all yours, Chad.

0

481.66 - 498.223 Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas

Hey guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

0

498.503 - 509.659 Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas

Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but you know. Tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

0

510.179 - 531.636 Brooke and Jeffrey

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.

531.817 - 540.179 Brooke and Jeffrey

Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

540.74 - 542.645 Dani Shapiro

Your husband is not who you think he is.

Chapter 7: How does the prank caller reveal the true nature of the call?

543.086 - 555.761 Dani Shapiro

Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.

0

556.342 - 563.13 Unknown

He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him.

0

563.511 - 570.139 Dani Shapiro

Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0

570.625 - 592.957 Unknown

Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing, and honestly, just kind of lonely. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and the psychology of your 20s is breaking down the science behind the biggest roadblocks we face. I was six years into my career, the 80-hour weeks and just the first one in, the last one out, and I ended up burning out.

0

592.997 - 612.681 Unknown

There was a large chunk of my 20s that I was just so wanting to be out of that phase, out of my skin, and I just really regret not living in the present more. You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

614.281 - 632.78 Unknown

Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. Is everyone lying to me about who they are? I felt such desperation. I felt it was what I had to do.

Chapter 8: What is the recipient's reaction to discovering the prank?

633.901 - 641.689 Unknown

Listen to Deep Cover, The Family Man on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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