5 Ways to Project Confidence (Even When You Don’t Feel It) | Ep. 376
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Why does Leila say confidence isn’t about affirmations or faking it?
Most people think that Confidence is about getting ready for this big moment or doing daily affirmations. And that is not actually building confidence.
How can choosing your words wisely boost your perceived confidence?
Like you cannot hope you feel ready when you walk into a stage, when you pitch somebody, when you lead a meeting that you've never run before. Over the last 10 years of building businesses and leading hundreds of employees, I have learned what building real confidence actually takes. And so what I want to do today is break down what it actually is, how to build it. And I will tell you, it has nothing to do with faking it.
What is the “body‑first, mind‑second” mindset shift and how does it work?
Number one, choose your words wisely. So when I was really, really early on in my career, I was still at my 24 hour fitness job, like literally just trying not to get fired. I had a habit that I didn't even know I had. Every time that I was about to say something in a meeting, I would open with. You know, I'm not sure if this is right or this might be a really dumb idea.
Why is the power of silence a game‑changer in high‑stakes conversations?
And so every time I did that, I thought I was being really humble. But what I was actually prefacing or framing everybody in the room to think is don't take her seriously. And that was what I realized, like, wow, confident people don't speak like that. Like, if you're sure of yourself, you're just sure of yourself.
How can you stop folding under pressure and stay steady when challenged?
You just say what you need to say. You don't need to frame it with like, hey, I might suck.
What does owning your opening and first impression look like in practice?
I might be an idiot. I might be dumb over here because then people are like, Well, if you don't have confidence in what you're saying, why would I have confidence in what you're saying? And so the moment that I stopped with this disclaimer before everything I said, people responded differently to me. And I noticed that at the same time.
Which common mistakes sabotage confidence and how can you avoid them?
I would say the same things, have the same recommendations, the same ideas, but people were actually seeming engaged with what I was saying rather than looking skeptical or just ignoring and moving on to the next thing. And it's really funny because Nothing about my actual competence changed. Like I still had the same ideas in each scenario, but my reaction that I got from the audience I was presenting was completely different.
How can you turn these mindset shifts into daily, trackable habits?
Like at the time, I had clients that I was trying to make suggestions so they could lose weight. And I would present them, be like, you know, I mean, maybe it would be good if you like possibly. It's like, who wants to listen to somebody when somebody really wants to change their life? They want you to be confident, they want you to be certain. It was funny testing out the different ways of communicating with them and realizing that I was shooting myself in the foot because I didn't want to come across like I was trying to coerce them into doing something. Like I didn't want to pressure them too much. But by doing that, I wasn't clear. I wasn't certain. And then they didn't even want to listen to my recommendation.
People who use what we call hedging language, this is what I'm talking about, like the the framing where you say, I think maybe I sort of, I kind of were rated as significantly less competent and less hireable than people who said the exact same thing without hedging. Okay, so this is a really simple shift that you can make. You are not obligated to narrate every thought you have about what you're about to say. It is okay to feel unsure and you can still speak confidently. Those things can exist at the same time. You don't need to have one with the other. I used to think that if I felt unsure, About something, I should say it. If I wasn't certain about something, I should say it. Now I realized that's not gonna get anything done because people don't listen to people who aren't sure about themselves.
The second mindset shift is body first, mind second. So for a long time, whenever I walked into a room where there was any sort of stakes, maybe it was like I was hiring somebody and I was really nervous they weren't gonna take the job. Maybe it was like I was going in to sell a new client, the tension in my body was Like visible to everybody there. I remember knowing it because there was this one time where I was in Hawaii and I was opening up a new gym, and I remember that I was supposed to have like five clients come in at once.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does Leila say confidence isn’t about affirmations or faking it?
0:00–0:07
2
How can choosing your words wisely boost your perceived confidence?
0:07–0:26
3
What is the “body‑first, mind‑second” mindset shift and how does it work?
0:26–0:48
4
Why is the power of silence a game‑changer in high‑stakes conversations?
0:48–1:04
5
How can you stop folding under pressure and stay steady when challenged?
1:04–1:08
6
What does owning your opening and first impression look like in practice?
1:08–1:23
7
Which common mistakes sabotage confidence and how can you avoid them?
1:23–1:44
8
How can you turn these mindset shifts into daily, trackable habits?
1:44–22:57
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Build with Leila Hormozi
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