The Manosphere Is A Scamosphere (And This Is How You Fight It)
episodePreviously titled “The Manosphere is a Scamosphere (And This Is How You Fight It)” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 27, 2026
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Olen Shannon Maldonado, käsintehtyjä artesaanituotteita myyvän Jaui lahjakaupan perustaja. Valitsin Shopify, koska alustoja testatessani totesin sen ehdottomasti yhdeksi helppokäyttöisimmistä alustoista. Minulla oli tärkeää pohtia kehittymistämme tulevaisuudessa. Kaikki myyntiin tarvittavat työkalut, kuten varaston suunnittelu, ovat kätevästi dashboardissa. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu shopify.com-sivustolla.
I feel embarrassed and the shame as a man that we are responsible for this. There's no getting around that.
Welcome to But Are You Happy? I'm Ashani Dante. With the rise of the manosphere, more women are feeling concerned, while many teenage boys and young men are struggling. There's a growing gap where real connection and community used to be, and into that space steps online figures offering belonging, but often promoting ideas about masculinity, money, and relationships that can be misleading and harmful. Ben Vassilow is the CEO of The Man Cave. a preventative mental health charity supporting teenage boys and young men. In this conversation, he speaks candidly about what it means to be a man today, the impact male behavior is having on women and girls, and what's really been said in these online spaces.
What personal experiences shaped Ben Vasilou's view of masculinity?
We also explore how young men can find healthier and more meaningful forms of connection and how ideas of masculinity are evolving. This conversation matters because discussions around gender can often be had in silos and this is about finding a way forward together. Just a note in this episode, we refer to women and men and female and male while fully respecting all gender identities. Today's conversation focuses on this topic through the lens of the work we do. Here's our conversation. Ben.
Ashani.
Welcome to But Are You Happy? I am very excited for this conversation. I feel like there is a lot to be unpacked in today's episode, but I feel like before we get into everything and unpack the landscape of masculinity, the rise of the manosphere, I actually want to start off by getting to know you and our listeners to get to know you. So the question I have is, what was your perspective on masculinity growing up?
Wow, what a way to start. Just drop straight in to like masculinity. In all honesty, I think my early experiences of masculinity manhood were role models of what not to do. Like if I really think about it now, I can sit back and reflect and know like my dad was probably the closest man in my life. He was around consistently until I was about 11 or 12. And he did his best. You know, I've got hindsight now, but he was quick to temper. He was pretty quick to anger, really struggled to manage his emotions. And that would come out in different ways and sort of some unhealthy behaviors. But also there were some good things, particularly the kind of more traditional forms of masculinity around provider protector.
He was really courageous and really strong and really present in those ways. Really good with sports. But yeah, in the more sort of modern concepts of masculinity, the things that we're trying to expand on, not so great.
How does the manosphere operate and who does it target?
I think later on in life, I've been married twice, hopefully not a third time. But in my first marriage, my father-in-law was definitely like the masculine archetype that I've aspired to be. Yeah. Really clever, witty. He was an old school artist. He used to draw the houses in the real estate section.
Oh, wow. In the newspapers. Yeah, before they took photos. Because that used to be a thing.
Yeah, that used to be a thing. Clever, witty, into politics, current affairs, but also like rides his Harley, has his cars, could sit down and have a nice glass of red and have like a really interesting conversation. But the thing that I learned from him was that he just loved his wife.
Hmm.
What are the most dangerous narratives young men absorb from the manosphere?
My ex-mother-in-law, who I'm still close with both of them, they're just like a loving bond and like their beautiful relationship was something that I could learn from. So a bit of like what not to do and then a little bit of like what to do and then trying to form my own.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–1:22
2
What personal experiences shaped Ben Vasilou's view of masculinity?
1:22–3:31
3
How does the manosphere operate and who does it target?
3:31–4:11
4
What are the most dangerous narratives young men absorb from the manosphere?
4:11–5:04
5
How does the manosphere impact women, girls and minority communities?
5:04–6:54
6
Why are statistics on gendered violence provoking shame and urgent action?
6:54–11:54
7
What practical strategies help boys step out of harmful online communities?
11:54–13:47
8
How can friends, parents and bystanders safely call out misogyny?
13:47–54:45
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from But Are You Happy?
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